Results tagged ‘ Alex Rodriguez ’

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 26: Willow, R2D2 and Other Famous Midgets

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

“KEITH, GET A BUCKET!”

After Jeff and Allen dragged Johanna’s almost lifeless body out of the Lollapalooza bullpen, the RSBS crew sat down to smack down on all-things baseball.  Joined midway by special guest, Tim Baffoe of The Heckler and AM 670 The Score, everybody gets in on the roller coaster that is Chicago baseball, Tony LaRussa versus the World, Derek Jeter’s legacy and a hypothetical question involving the conflicting theologies of Ian Kinsler and Josh Hamilton.

This is some shizz ya ain’t gonna wanna miss!

And make sure to follow Tim Baffoe (aka the Ten Foot Midget) on Twitter.  Dude’s got a lock on sports satire!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Make sure you follow him on Twitter and check out his sweet Undercast.  And, also, if you haven’t already, check out the teaser to his film-in-progress and don’t be afraid to help a brotha out!

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Recorded Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Filibuster

Lot of talk about weiners, Weiners and Weiner’s weiner the past couple weeks.  This is nothing new in the sports universe, though, especially in the NFL.  However, which MLB player do you think will most likely find himself involved in some sort of similar scandal?

Eric
Big Rapids, MI
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As is the case with most famous weiner (and Weiner) related exposés, the following will certainly be an exercise in self-restraint, as I think we all know the immense public propensity to go for the easy male-member joke.  But the easiest joke here, as far as I can tell, is that the Rep. Anthony Weiner scandal is even a scandal at all!

I am not saying we should give the guy a medal of honor or anything, but, what exactly did he do to warrant a public scandal of such magnitude?  So he donned a swaggering internet persona and talked dirty to some chicks online… and then didn’t have sexual relations with any of them?  Um, okay, if this illegal then somebody come lock my @$$ up!!!

Yes, Rep. Weiner is a creepazoid.  So what?  Aren’t most politicians?  From my vantage point, Weiner didn’t break any laws.  He didn’t physically hurt anyone.  He is only guilty of being stupid — of being aloof and naive a la John Edwards to mistakenly think the interwebs are a completely private domain and that interacting with folks in a lewd manner outside of his marriage would never be revealed by the parties involved.

Like our future 45th president alludes, the online lust-quest has become common for modern man; and this “scandal” is really something that should be left between Rep. Weiner and his wife.  Unless he’s Marv Albert-ing these women or wasting tax dollars on callgirls, I don’t see how any of this is of public interest.

But since you asked, Eric, what MLB player would most likely find himself in the same Weinerific situation, I gotta say, right now, it would have to be Adam Dunn.

I mean, come on… SOMETHING is eating at the Big Donkey and it ain’t Ozzie Guillen!  When a perennial homerun monster like Dunn suddenly lives under the Mendoza line with only a handful of bombs while playing his home games at launching-pad Sox Park,  and it’s mid-June, something ain’t right.

Hmm… you thought I was gonna say A-Rod, didn’t ya? Well, A-Rod probably does take lewd photos of his “attributes” with intentions of sending them out to virtual partners; however, I think his tenacious love for himself would force him to keep such images for his eyes only.

Hate me, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Want a free pimp for your blog?  How ’bout coaxing Allen to go back to living as a woman?  Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

The Filibuster

Why does everyone get so excited about the whole playoff beard
phenomenon? This is nothing new. It happens every year with lots of
different teams. Isn’t it time for a different trend?

Mark
Virden, IL

_______________________________

binladen_beard.jpgAre we talking about A-Rod dating Madonna again?  Because that’s totally legit.  A-Rod likes women.

Oh, wait.  You meant hair on faces.  Ok, sorry about that.  Wrong beard.  Although the point still stands.

But, you’re right.  Playoff beards, whether of the A-Rod variety or the hairy face version, are not exactly news.  It happens in baseball.  It happens in hockey.  Football definitely sees it share.  I guess I’d like to see baseball players try something a little different.  I have two suggestions.

The first thing I’d like to see in baseball is the midsummer slump beard instead of the playoff beard.  Imagine that your team has looked terrible for the first half season and the All-Star Break is coming up.  In order to give yourself some momentum heading in to the layoff, you all grow beards.  Not only does this show team spirit, it also shows some balls.  Think about.  The Houston Astros with full on beards in the middle of July?  That’s hardcore.  The itchiness and beard sweat alone would be enough to drive you crazy.  Add in some sort of pact about not being allowed to shave until you’ve won two or three series and you might find just the motivation you need.

The other possibility would be taking the playoff beard to higher level.  I don’t want to see three days worth of stubble.  I want a full-on, Osama Bin Laden “I’ve been living in a cave for five years” kind of beard.  Cliff Lee is imposing on the mound.  Just imagine him sporting some Gandalf-style whiskers and hitters losing the ball in his beard as it leaves his hand.  Now that’s an intimidation factor.

Playoff beards have become a cliche but it doesn’t have to be this way.  There’s still time to reinvent the beard.  Hey, if A-Rod can do it with Madonna, we can do it with this tradition.

-A

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on
your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not together, eww)? 
Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster
question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Pictures of Jeff taking untoward liberties while dressed as a priest on Halloween also welcome.

Something to Say

alf_something_to_say.jpg

We all have something to say.  The difference is in how and when we choose to say it. 

The nice thing about blogging is that we get to say it when we want to and, with the exception of a few words that our hosts choose to censor, we get to say what we want. 

The Freedom of Speech guaranteed under the Bill of Rights is arguably the most powerful right we have as Americans.  It’s the reason Orel Hershiser can thank god after winning a game and the reason why I can tell him that god doesn’t exist.  It’s the reason A-Rod and his agent can announce a contract extension during the middle of a World Series in which he isn’t playing and it’s also the reason why I can say that I think A-Rod and his agent are both worthless kangaroo placentas. 

Around this time of year the debate over what constitutes free speech ratchets up another level, though.  Political adversaries regularly find a way to push their constitutional freedoms to illogical extremes.  It’s not enough to say you disagree.  If you can’t figure out how to disagree and simultaneously accuse your opponent of raping and/or clubbing baby seals, you’re just not doing your job.

That’s why I choose to stand aside from name-calling and ad hominem attacks this post-season and political season.  I will not mention the Yankees’ illegal dog-fighting ring in which they set underfed terriers against various members of the Royals’ bullpen unless I have proof.  And I refuse to talk about Joe Biden and Christine O’Donnell’s secret Wiccan connection until no doubt remains in my mind to its veracity.

Additionally, I call on my co-blogger, Mr. Lung, to publicly announce his willingness to toe this line.  That is, if he’s not too busy fantasizing about he and Albert Pujols holding hands while clubbing and/or raping baby seals.

-A

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 10: Bud Selig’s Salad… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 10.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

It’s our monumental TENTH EPISODE, y’all!  Party is the name of the game as Jeff, Allen and Johanna dive into an exciting playoff tempered show including three hallowed memories, two Morgans (Nyjer and the Captain) and one inception… not to mention a whole lot of confusion over a $500 pair of speedos with Albert Pujols’ face on it.  Plus much more, including the Lou Piniella mailbag!  All to make you laughy-time!

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special

thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  Check out
his Undercast podcast and visit his movie-making website Undercard Films if you don’t want him to kick your bum.  Did I mention he is an MMA fighter?  It’s true.  How else do you think Johanna’s face got so disfigured?!?  Lookout!

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MUSIC BY MEQQA <— Download their music it is rad as hell :-)

Recorded Saturday, September 11, 2010

A Modern Day Bro-blem

jeter_rodriguez_bro.jpgA friend once claimed me as his “heterosexual life mate.”  What does that mean?  Well, in today’s lingo he’d probably just refer to me as his “bro.”  It’s a way for guys to have the kind of friendships that women have.  Although, a fine line exists.  Once you start talking about women and your problems with them, are you still in bro territory?

Perhaps it’s easier to look at this another way.  A-Rod and Jeter?  Bros.  Clemens and Pettitte?  Bros.  Carlos Zambrano and anyone?  Probably not so much.

You get the idea.  A bro is a guy who’s there for you, who has your back and who you can just kind of hang out with and be yourself.

But what happens when bro-ness becomes more complicated?  What do you do when you’re a free agent and every season find yourself in a new city surrounded by new faces?  Unfortunately, it’s at this point that the darker side of bro-hood sometimes rears its ugly head:

http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf

This doesn’t have to happen.  You have options.  Skype and air travel make long distance bro-lationships much more doable than in the past.  But before you can make it there, you have to make it past the ugly specter of bro-stitution.  If you ever need help, we’re just a comment away.

-A

American Obssession

bill_murray_couch.jpgI have my moments when I wonder about America.  Despite the fact that we know he’s a huge DB and an admitted juicer, all baseball cares about right now is A-Rod making it to 600.  Obviously we live in a Yankee-centric world so this is no huge surprise but there are bigger issues to worry about.

Like did you know that Bill Murray is currently destroying America?  Yep, through his work in such classics as Ghostbusters (or Ghostbussers which I can only imagine must be Jim Crow era existential comedy) and Stripes, Murray has apparently materially contributed to a sense of ennui that threatens to tear apart the very fabric of America.  And he’s probably gay.

Listen people.  You need to get a hobby.  No, following A-Rod’s exploits does not count.  And attempting to boycott a comedy legend who made gophers famous and ball washers pornographic doesn’t count either.  I’ve got one for you.  Why don’t you see if Bonds is still on the free agent market?  If not, I bet he’d be huge in Japan.  Kind of like Bill Murray.

-A

For Those of You Who Mighta Forgot

jeff and theo cards cubs 2.jpg
We can talk Garza’s no-hitter, A-Rod’s 600th homer, the Hot Stove and all that… shizzlefunk; but sometimes the greater need is to remind you, dear readers, that Jesus…

space jesus.jpg
Hates the Cubs.

Jesus Hate the Cubs.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 6: MLB’s Chimeras… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 7.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and his Cub-lovin’ pal Johanna Mahmud put their heads together to find out what’s wrong with Joe Buck’s face… they also talk about a slew of other important stuff, including (but not limited to) Andre Dawson being a bad@ss, why everyone hates Cleveland, Pete Hill of the Negro Leagues, Matt Capps’ ginormous noggin, the Lou
Piniella Mailbag and much,
much more… all to make you laughy time!

Holla!

P.S. Language definitely rated R on this one. We let ourselves go a bit… but it’s a lot of fun (trust us).

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Subscribe
to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe

via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special

thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  His Undercast
podcast is a must-listen (listen to it!).  It’s available on iTunes and
is posted regularly at Undercard

Films.

Recorded Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Filibuster

arod_adjusting_cup.jpgThe player formerly known as Alex Rodriguez will soon hit his 600th Home Run.

Who Cares?

 
Mike 
Brooklyn Trolley Blogger
_______________________________

Not me.

I could care less, Mike.

And that’s… sad.  Sorta. 

To be honest, I’m so over it — all of it… the steroids, the scandals, the lying, the cover-ups, the BALCOs, the blue sweaters.  Yes, there comes a time when even extreme baseball purists like myself have no choice but to let…

…go.

Because baseball’s numbers will never be the same.  Never.  Long gone are the days when a digit might suggest greatness.  The hallowed marks of achievement died sometime in the late 80s, when a clubhouse party at the Coliseum consisted of needles, juice and dudes gettin’ jacked.  They killed it — they murdered the prestige.  It’s all dead now.  The numbers will never be as important as they were before PEDs, before Barry, before A-Rod. 

I’ve finally come to terms with that. 

And I’m also happy to say that the desacrilization of baseball’s numbers won’t kill the game

I used to think it would.

It hasn’t.

And it won’t.

Which is exactly why baseball is the grandest game on the planet.  It has withstood wars, betting scandals, collusion, labor disputes.  Its integrity has been challenged.  Its image has been smeared.  On many occasions, it has even been left for dead.

But it always comes back to life.  And it comes back to life bigger, better, stronger.

Hank Aaron.  755. 

Roger Maris.  61.

Those are the ones we choose — collectively, as a people, as a community — those are the ones we’ll remember. 

The other numbers?  I couldn’t tell you how many homeruns Barry Bonds hit in his career.  I couldn’t tell you because I don’t care.  The public doesn’t care.  We don’t care.

And that’s a beautiful sign that baseball has moved on, beyond the numbers; because, let’s face it: sometimes, you just have to move on.

In our case, we are all very lucky, because we get to move on together.

I’m right on that, Mike.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz of it.

Peace,

Jeff

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Videos of Al in a speedo, dry humpin’ reporters at Hedonism II also welcome.

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