Results tagged ‘ Allen ’

Tiger Blood

The coke-binged, wiry meme used as today’s title may not have the same ring to it as it did WAY back in 2011, but if you’re a fan of the Detroit variety, you know that Tiger blood is still in the streets.

Well, the South Florida streets anyway.

In case you’ve been distracted by the train wreck that is the Republican Party primary, Victor Martinez tore his ACL and will be out for the whole season, leaving my pessimistic and oft lugubrious colleague, Mr. Krause, as sad as sad can be (probably).

But not all hope is lost, Mr. Krause.  My team lost its ace pitcher prior to the ’11 season and we went out and won the whole damn thing.

Still, just in case Tigers fans are really feeling suicidal, let me remind you of some even bigger Tiger fails that make this one look minor in comparison:

For those of you who are still trying to forget the 2003 season actually happened, let me just remind you that Mike Maroth (above) went 9-21 that year with an ERA of 5.73.

See, life can ALWAYS be worse.  Like Mike Maroth worse.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Have You Hugged Mr. Krause Today?

You should, ‘cuz today is Mr. Krause’s birthday!!!

In order to make Mr. Krause feel good on his birthday, I thought I’d post some images of things that would make him happy.  So I did a Google image search for “hot girl + Detroit Tigers”.  I got zilch (not surprised).  Instead, I offer these titillating images, each one sure to make him smile:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRIEND!

Before There Was RSBS, There Was Free Pudding

That’s right.  In a galaxy far, far away… before the interns, before the Digests, before I was “always right”, there was…

FREE PUDDING.

The above picture is one of the remaining relics from that year 2000 sketch production extraordinaire staged at Kalamazoo College that brought its fans FUN, LAUGHS and FREE PUDDING.  (Not kidding, we actually served free pudding to all patrons.)

Of course, dear readers galore know what eventually became of my persnickety and oft lugubrious colleague, Mr. Krause and I.  Y’know, how we blew up the internets with our unique take on the baseball-politico world and all.  But what of that crouching fella in the middle there?

That’s Jordan Klepper.

And here is Mr. Klepper, recently, with the lovely Laura Grey.

STILL KICKIN’ COMEDY TAIL!

Mr. Klepper grew up a huge Ryne Sandberg fan, and while living in The Chi, he wore his Cubs hat proudly.  But then he moved to New York, and after a couple of Mets games we took in last summer, I couldn’t help but notice him salivating all over  R.A. Dickey.

Happy Saturday!

PS. The dude with the do-rag is Nick. I have no idea where or what he is doing in the world today but I’m sure he’s rockin’ it ‘cuz he was super cool back in school.

PPS. Yes.  Mr. Krause is doing “the double handed shocker”.

Happy Christmas, Merry New Year and All That Jazz!


From the bottom of our baseball-politico lovin’ hearts, we at RSBS would like to wish you all a very happy holiday season!  As is tradition here, Mr. Krause, Mr. Mahmud and I will be taking a week off to reflect on the year, spend time with our respective families and enjoy a nice Christmas ale (or ten).

We’ll be back to business as usual on Jan. 1st.

Until then, be merry and be safe!

Peace,

Jeff

RSBS’ Biggest Fan!

Congratulations to Kristen from This Is A Very Simple Game (a damn fine blog in its own right!) for winning the RSBS Biggest Fan Contest, sponsored by Crown Royal.  Soon Kristen will be enjoying Albert Pujols in the bright SoCal sun with well protected eyes as she is going to receive a pair of sweet Oakley Blender Sunglasses.  Hot dang!

And if that’s not hot enough, check out her winning entry below.  Your taste buds will thank you!

Kristen writes:

Caramelized Red Onion State, Blue Cheese State, Bacon Lavosh!

This is a quick and dirty weeknight dinner that tastes gourmet and doubles nicely as a game day snack. But, since you can’t exactly tell how amazing this smells and tastes from the photo, here is the recipe. I get the impression that Johanna cooks but I don’t know if Jeff and Allen do, so the recipe is written for both the well stocked kitchen and the un-stocked kitchen:

Ingredients for 2 Lavosh:

  • 5 slices of bacon (because, hello, Bacon? Is there any ingredient more charismatic?)
  • 1 Red Onion, cut in half and sliced into thin rings
  • 3 cloves fresh crushed garlic  (or one teaspoon dried, if that’s what you have)
  • 2 tablespoons butter or olive oil for cooking
  • 2 pieces lavosh (whole wheat works well here too. If you don’t have access to lavosh, what the heck kind of Trader Joe’s do you have there in Chicago? ;) And/or you can use pita, tortillas, or even pizza dough instead.)
  • 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
  • Crumbled Blue Cheese (roughly 4 oz. which is to say, basically a palm full. I don’t really prescribe to the tyranny of traditional “standard” measurements unless I am baking or performing some other form of chemistry, LOL.)  I like Trader Joe’s Salem Blue or Point Reyes Blue Cheese if I have it around, but any will work.
  • Optional – 1/2 cup of _______ meat. I used leftover roast chicken the evening I took the photo because we roasted chicken-zilla earlier in the week and had it on hand. But diced deli meat works wonderfully too – turkey, roast beef or, if you’re feeling especially porcine inclined, ham or prosciutto (yum!).
  • Salt and pepper to taste (sea salt and fresh ground pepper if you have it, no worries if you don’t)

Instructions:

1.     Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

2.     Cook the bacon until it is almost cooked to your preferred level of doneness, then set aside. Chop when cooled.

3.     Heat the cooking fat (and use some of the bacon drippings for 1 tablespoon of the cooking fat , if you dare). Add the garlic (if you’re using fresh) and sauté for a few seconds before adding the onions.

4.     Keep stirring the onions. Season with a little salt and pepper (and the dried garlic if you’re using dried) once the onions are coated in the oil. You want to almost fully caramelize the onions – sauté them, stirring from time to time, until they are browned slivers of completely limp, tasty oniony goo.

5.     Put the lavosh on cookie sheets (or prep for a pizza stone if you have one and have time to heat it) and cover each of them in half of the mozzarella cheese in a thin layer stretching out to the edges.

6.     Sprinkle each evenly with half of the bacon, cooked onions, blue cheese and extra meat (if you are using).

7.     Dust both lightly with pepper.

8.     Bake for roughly five minutes, turn and then five minutes more (much longer if you are using pizza dough), until the cheese is bubbly and golden in spots and the edges of the meat and lavosh are crisp and browning.

9.     Cool slightly, slice and enjoy!

10.  Serve with dark beer or red wine (ideally a good, rich Rhone style blend. Feel free to ask if you would enjoy any California-centric suggestions J).

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YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!!!

Special thanks go out to all those who submitted entries!  We love you all.  Now go make some lavosh and get krunk!

Jeff & Al

A Christmas Wrap-Up (Part 2)

Continuing with the end-of-year holiday tradition here at RSBS, it’s time to separate myself from my imaginary girlfriend (NSFW) and ask the interns to lock my office door so I can get down to the meaty reflection of what was the RSBS year 2011.  Additionally, I must begin the sad, fiery purge of Albert Pujols memorabilia.  For those of you who went to public schools, you know that maintaining a fire within a small, confined room may cause ill-fated side effects, so before I start to look like Bert the chimney sweep, let me get to it…

First of all, no year would be a good year without you, the dear RSBS reader.  THANK YOU, for your readership.  THANK YOU for your emails, your tweets, your comments, Facebook shares and FingerTagging!  And THANK YOU for continuing to make writing about the baseball-politico world a treat for us every single day.

Like my riveting and oft rousing colleague, Mr. Krause, I too have been very impressed with our special correspondents.  For me, nothing says sweet Miggy-I-Love-You quite like Mark Piebenga’s His Game Is Like Waves.  It presented Miguel Cabrera in a new light — that of teacher, and, considering how much Mark has taught me about what life should be about, I continue to find its lesson fitting (and helpful!).

And though I often refer to Mr. Johanna Mahmud as “the man who introduced me to the glories of the Deftones” and “the guy who schooled me on the NBA and proved why I should be madly in love with Derek Rose”, I still have room to refer to him as “the guy who writes Setting the Mahmud“!  Dude puts the “tit” in titillating with every piece.  The last article he wrote was inspiring, if only because he found a way to get a naked Yu Darvish, an ugly sweater wearing Johnny Matt Damon and a crying Paula Deen all in one place; but, like Al, I have to admit that there’s real brilliance in his Theo-fied Arthurisms.  Still, I’m a sucker for equating dead people to the performances of Adam Dunn and Miguel Tejada.  Good work, good sir.

Meanwhile, no year-end applause would be complete without a nod to my longtime friend and confidant, Mr. Allen Krause.  Known for his cynical twists on the political establishment and undying love of all things Detroit Tigers, it has been a pleasure to write on his wing.  Sometimes he’s so “on” that he finds literary genius in imagery.  Indeed, that endearing Krausian wit is often highlighted by rational thought.  Sometimes it points out the un-fact-checked obvious, other times it gets serious, with a real call for responsibility.  And, just in case you think Mr. Krause’s Libertarian-bashing makes him a soulless, automated Obamatron, this reflective piece will convince you otherwise.

But when it comes to knockin’ ‘em outta the interwebs park, I have to kowtow to the RSBS Presents series.  The brainchild of Mr. Krause, RSBS Presents has enlightened us on the finer points of fandom and how to stay classy while reminding us that, ultimately, positivity has upside during times of turmoil.  But the best of them all was learning how to score a Republican.  And here I thought it involved finding Jesus and quoting Alex P. Keaton.

Happy Christmas, Merry Hanukkah and long live King Kwanzaa!

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 31: Albert’s Infinite Zeros and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

Albert. Frakking. Pujols. Could this episode really be about anything else? Give it a listen, close your eyes and imagine Jeff really is strangling Johanna. No. Seriously. Do that. Please?

TRY IT!!!

Also, remember to send us a picture (to rsbsblog@gmail.com) showing why you’re RSBS‘ biggest fan so YOU can win some sweet Oakley Bender sunglasses from our good friends at Crown Royal. Pass the crown, yo!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter for all his movie magic updates and make sure to check out his crew and their hilariousness on the Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, December 10, 2011

I See What You Did There, White Sox Fan Girl

The Twittersphere is an oddly fantastic place.  It’s a lot like American Gladiators, you either get it or you’re like “Dude, wtf is this insanity?”

So whenever someone comes along and does something different, I have to give credit.

We have a new follower whose handle is @White_Sox_Fans

Of course, I assumed it’d be one of those generic, autoposting, borderline-spamming accounts that just pumped link after link of White Sox affiliated stuff.  But then I saw the profile picture!

That certainly doesn’t look like the stylized “SOX” or the ho-hum cursive “CHICAGO” script one would usually see associated with a White Sox themed Twitter feed.  I’m in!

And I also thought, Tigers fans could take the above hint and put sexy back into the grandest game on earth.  What do ya think?

Hate me ‘cuz it’s allowed, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 30: Pat Matheny’s Anesthesioxity and Other Stuff (LIKE HIGHLIGHTS!)

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The RSBS crew celebrates its 30th episode by taking a stroll down podcast memory lane, remembering things that busted our (and hopefully your) guts.  AIDS salad and Ron Santo’s memory get rehashed while new memories (like gay ponies v. horsicorns, an iguana named Dudley and how you can cure your foot problems) are created!  Jump on board the RSBS crazy train!  No stops til you question how you spend your free time!

Don’t forget to getcho Crown Royal and enjoy some happy time!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter for all his movie magic updates and make sure to check out his crew and their hilariousness on the Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 26, 2011

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 29: Remembering Ugueth’s Urbina and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

Jeff tries his darnedest to be as polite as possible during his unfettered gloating of World Championship status (Go Cards!) while Second City’s Mark Piebenga adds some level-headed awesomeness to Johanna’s outlandishness and Allen’s seasoned straight man routine.  Among the topics of discussion are “the greatest game ever”, the woes of rebranding an already twice championed franchise (talkin’ to you, Marlins), Theo Fever in the Chi, b!tch t!ts and much, much more!

Now grab some Crown Royal and enjoy yo’ self!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter and make sure to check out his crew and their gut busting Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 12, 2011

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