Results tagged ‘ Andre Dawson ’

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 15: Varitek’s Lotto Numbers… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 7.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

The hot stove is so hot that we had to add more fuel to the sizzlin’ fire!  Jeff, Allen and Johanna are joined by Second City’s Mark Piebenga and Red Sox loyalist Troy Jagodowski to get down and dirty on all the offseason drama.  Discussion topics include but are not limited to: what Theo Epstein was smokin’ when he re-signed Varitek, the end of Troy Tulowitski, the continued morphing of the Hall of Fame, the A-Gon deal and much, much more… all to make you laugh that milk right through your nose!

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  You can check out Keith’s wicked podcast and his subsequent film projects at  Undercard Films.  The dude has mad skillz, so you might wanna pay attention.  Do it!  Now!

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Recorded Saturday, December 4, 2010

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 6: MLB’s Chimeras… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 7.jpg

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And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and his Cub-lovin’ pal Johanna Mahmud put their heads together to find out what’s wrong with Joe Buck’s face… they also talk about a slew of other important stuff, including (but not limited to) Andre Dawson being a bad@ss, why everyone hates Cleveland, Pete Hill of the Negro Leagues, Matt Capps’ ginormous noggin, the Lou
Piniella Mailbag and much,
much more… all to make you laughy time!

Holla!

P.S. Language definitely rated R on this one. We let ourselves go a bit… but it’s a lot of fun (trust us).

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– -

Subscribe
to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe

via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special

thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  His Undercast
podcast is a must-listen (listen to it!).  It’s available on iTunes and
is posted regularly at Undercard

Films.

Recorded Saturday, July 24, 2010

Baseball Meets Art: “The Hawk’s Nighthawks”

Besides baseball, one could say that I get pretty ravenous about the arts. Especially in the winter, when all is dead on the diamond. I pay rent at the Art Institute of Chicago. That’s how often you’ll find me there.

So I got to thinking… what would happen if I combine baseball with the arts?

Awesomeness.

That’s what would happen.

night hawk andre dawson.JPG
Sorry.  Y’all can’t out-hawk the Hawk.

Congrats on the Hall, Andre.

Congrats on being one of the best.

And thanks for not hating me ‘cuz I’m right.

Happy Friday!

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 1: Hanley’s Lollipop… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo.jpg

Click me to listen!!!

The virgin voyage, y’all!

Okay, so you knew this was gonna happen eventually… just enjoy it.  We did!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff introduces Chicago rock phenom and avid Cubs fan, Johanna Mahmud to the RSBS family.   When not front-manning the intoxicating alt-rock group, Meqqa, Johanna manages to drink Jeff’s beer and fantasize about a team made up of twenty-five Alfonso Sorianos.  Okay.  That second part may be a lie… but this part ain’t: when these two guys start talkin’ baseball, it’s all fun and games.  Among the topics of discussion: Roy Oswalt’s bulldozer, Lou Piniella’s preggers look, the Brendan Ryan pornostache hysteria, Hanley’s lollipop and much, much more.

Holla!

- – -

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and all-around sound guru.  He always knows where Ryne Sandberg is.  Always.

For more on Meqqa, please visit their website *CLICK ME!*

Recorded Saturday, May 22, 2010

Google Knows EVERYTHING II

baseball hall of fame.gifThe 2010 Hall of Fame ballot is out and the names are all there for our relentless ridicule.  Meh.  Let’s not make this too difficult now, shall we?  There is only one nominee who is a surefire lock to be a first ballot Hall of Famer and that man is Barry Larkin.

Everybody else? 

Not so much.

But these decisions need to be weighed with ample baseball knowledge and ruthless number crunching, which is why we turn to the always accurate Google Oracle to see whether or not these fellas are Hall of Fame worthy. (click on the images for a closer view)

Robin Ventura
robin ventura google.JPGWhen your one claim to fame is getting your a$s beat by a man old enough to be your father in what was probably the most embarrassing basebrawl of all time, no, you may not enter the Hall of Fame, sir.

Fred McGriff
fred mcgriff google.JPGInterestingly enough, the lesson in McGriff’s ‘instructional video’ is: how to vote Fred McGriff into the Hall of Fame.  Slick… but not slick enough.  No Hall of Fame for you, Crime Dog.

Roberto Alomar
roberto alomar google.JPGWell, unless there’s a Hall of Fame of AIDS then Robbie ain’t gettin’ in anywhere.

But please, somebody — baseball writers, Oprah, Jesus, anyone — please put Andre Dawson in the Hall of Fame.  He deserves to be there.  And I am getting very, very sick of having to lobby for this ex-Cub who made a living making my life miserable as a child. 

Buck up, fellas.  The Hawk was better than Jim Rice.

Hate me ‘cuz I tell it straight, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I”m right.

Peace,

Jeff

RSBS TV: “Jesus Hates the Cubs”

The world premier… of an RSBS original…

Produced, shot and edited by Theo Roll.

Directed by Jeffery Lung.

Starring James Tierney as Jesus.

Performed by Mauf Tauk

Mauf Tauk is Jeff and Theo.

**Pass it on, folks. Let’s get the word out.  Please send this link to everyone you know. We make this thing go viral and more RSBS baseball-related hilarity will certainly flourish.**

Want more RSBS TV?  Try Crush.  Or if you prefer talking heads, check *these* out.

*Note: Kirk Gibson won the MVP in ’88, but it doesn’t rhyme and we’re cool like dat so get over it.

Expos Jersey = Instant Notoriety

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 038.jpgI am not so full of myself that I believe everyone wanted
a piece of me during yesterday’s All-Star festivities; but wearing
throwback gear from a team long dead certainly gave me an edge.  As a
walking memory, representing Gary Carter, Andre Dawson and Delino
Deshields with porn ‘stache swagger, I was definitely drawing
attention.  Unfortunately, the security people holding me back at field
level, blocking my attempts at getting a word with Erin Andrews did not
find me as irresistible.

“I need to talk to Erin Andrews.” I told them with confidence.

“Why?”

“Because, it’s my destiny.”

“Get the hell outta here before I throw you the hell outta here.”

‘Nuff said.

Oh
well.  Had to keep my head up.  I was part of the Homerun Derby.  Busch
III was electric.  And despite all the partying, I was somehow still
alive.

The Derby?  Well, it was what I thought it’d be: very
exciting for the first half hour, then pretty boring after that. 
Several balls came close to us in our right field seats, but one guy –
the SAME GUY — caught two balls (one from Ryan Howard and one from Joe
Mauer) and after standing for the three hour event and being
shot down by Erin’s handlers before I even had a chance, I ended up
leaving Busch III ball-less… well, sorta.  Anyway, here are some pics
from Fanfest and the evening’s homerun contest.  Click on them for
closer view.

The ticket:

Thumbnail image for All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 001.jpg
Big Balls:

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 005.jpg

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 027.jpg
Three of the ten World Series trophies the Cardinals have brought home.  Read ‘em and weep, sCrUBBIE fans:

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 008.jpg
Me and Jackie’s duds:

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 011.jpgMy best impression of an irate Cub:

Thumbnail image for All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 026.jpgThe ‘Lou:

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 031.jpgSome random guy excited to see me… gee, I wonder why?

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 043.jpgThe view from our seats:

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 068.jpgConcentration or solace in my futile attempts at meeting Erin?

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 053.jpgJ.W. and I… still sober?  What’s wrong with this picture!?!?!

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 066.jpgOkay, y’all.  I’m gearing
up for the big game tonight, Molina jersey on my back, praying the that
the National League doesn’t embarrass me… again.  This would be as good
a time as any for us to win this thing (not that I really care) and I
have a feeling I’ll have a better shot at meeting President Obama than
I will Ms. Andrews.

She doesn’t know what she’s missing.

Hate me ‘cuz I’m here, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The Ron Santo Crybaby Camp Overshadows An Otherwise Respectable Career

chicago aerial.jpgAs a Chicagoan, I am expected to accept and endure the following three basic tenets of Chicago life, otherwise known as the Three C’s:

1.  Crappy weather

2.  Corrupt politicians

3.  Crybaby Cub fans

Because I love this fair second city and all the headaches associated with its underground, battled, scar-bearing character, I generally acquiesce and forego my impetus to break bones and punch walls in reaction to the ceaseless bombardment and annoying abundance of those Three C’s

But on a day like today, when it’s 30-some degrees outside with a steady, sloppy rain pouring down… when our dear Illinois governor, Rod Blagojevich is arrested at his Northside home on federal corruption charges… when the Ron Santo camp is hogging headline space by going through its annual crybaby routine… when all three of these things converge on the same day in one unforgiving onslaught of discomfort, I am left exhausted, irked and very, very thankful that I am anti-gun.

It’s just too much for one man to take.

The weather, yeah.  Like an unwanted pregnancy, it happens.  We deal with it.

rod blagojevich.jpgBlagojevich, yeah.  I think we all knew he was a crook.  I met him at the 95th Street/Dan Ryan Expressway CTA station on election day 2006.  He smiled, shook my hand, patted me on the shoulder.  Five minutes later, as I was left admiring the indescribable solidity of his hair, I realized my wallet was gone.

But when it comes to the Hall of Fame hopes of one Ron Santo, I have absolutely had enough.  Enough!

I mean, when a woman says “no”, she means “no”, stupid.  If you ignore that you’re a rapist.

ron santo.jpgLikewise, when the Hall of Fame, whether it be the BBWAA, the Veterans Committee or the Baseball Gods themselves say “no” for twenty-five years, they mean “NO!!!!!… and stop bugging us.”  Because just like the yearly lament of “this is our year”, the we-were-robbed cries for Ron Santo routine is getting extremely old and intensely aggravating. 

Rick Morrissey, of the now bankrupt Chicago Tribune, cried out to his drones of readers, “What don’t Hall voters see in Santo?”

They don’t see a Hall of Famer, that’s what, Rick.  If doing the same thing over and over and over again while expecting different results is insanity then the crybaby Santo camp is absolutely DERANGED!

Get over it.

Ron Santo was a great baseball player.  He wasn’t one of the greatest of all time but he was better than average, better than good, better than what Cub fans have turned him into over the last several years: a whiny, sore losing, crybaby.  It’s not Ron’s fault.  Leave him alone.  He’s on your side.  Quit making him look like the fat kid in gym class that no one wants on his team.

You have a stronger case with Andre Dawson so go cry about that for a few decades, will ya?  By then Blagojevich might be ready to enter a work-release program cleaning up the beaches that will surround the then island of Chicago (it’s a polar ice cap melting thing).

So yeah, go ahead.  Hate me.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

No-Brainers Made Complicated: Now It’s the ‘Norm

mark mcgwire celebration.jpgI’m sorry, but did the National Bureau of Economic Research just inform me and myriad dear readers, that indeed the United States of America’s economy is in a (daresay) recession?

Duh!

I beg your pardon, but did our Dear Leader, in an interview with ABC’s Charlie Gibson, admit his own incompetency by saying “I think I was unprepared for war”?

Doh!

As if the mass exodus of once-successful business owners to the overcrowded unemployment line in my Southside Chicago neighborhood wasn’t reason enough to believe.  As if the tense gazes of disgust from world leaders and record low approval rating during Bush II wasn’t enough reason to believe.  Well, folks, believe it; and believe that the spindoctors are just going to keep getting more and more convoluted as they assume we US Americans are as dumb as they are obvious.

Because apparently, the new status quo put forth by those in power has regressed to that of an unnecessary complication of issues that should otherwise be clear as day.

This has never been more true as we go into the third year of Mark McGwire Hall of Fame eligibility, where once again, I predict the baseball writers will find it in themselves to be a group of holier-than-thou judgmental jack^sses who consistently confuse clarity with integrity.

Did McGwire use performance enhancing drugs?  Maybe.  Probably.  We don’t know for sure and we never will.

Did McGwire’s awkward Capitol Hill exchange further damage his image and cause us to question his character?  Yes.  Definitely.

Should it matter when considering him for the Hall of Fame?

Hell no.

Hands down, Mark McGwire should have been a first-time ballot Hall of Famer.  His numbers, his performance, his legacy and the positive impact he had on the game alone should have put him in on the first try. 

While I dare not minimize the damaging stain PEDs have left on the game of baseball as well as the youth of our nation, I still believe in the democratic principle of one being “innocent until proven guilty” and until someone proves that McGwire broke the rules, he deserves to be remembered as a Hall of Famer.

Jim Rice, Bert Blyleven, Andre Dawson… sure, waffle on those guys.  They deserve to be waffled on a bit because they’re not stand-out no-brainer players.  But McGwire?  Give me a break.  Give him a break.

And beware, for Barry Bonds will soon be in line for the same retrospection.  Look, as much as I dislike the man as a human being, I cannot conceive a Hall of Fame without Barry Bonds’ plaque.  Baseball writers, your job is not to teach lessons to suspected bad boys.  Your job is to reward players for having Hall of Fame careers despite their antics — whatever and as displeasing as they may be.  Remember, Ty Cobb, arguably one of the most disgustingly erratic, singly detrimental members of the entire human race, is rightfully in the Hall of Fame.

Get over yourselves, writers.  You’re not judges.  You’re not the police.  You’re not God(s).

Do the right thing and put Mark McGwire in the Hall of Fame.  And while you’re doing that, prepare for the barrage of suspect PED users, headlined by one Barry Bonds, who will soon be eligible for HOF consideration.

The world will be watching and I will be quick to slander. 

So yeah, go ahead and hate me; I only ask that you don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

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