Although he would have to be a strong contender for the number one spot in anyone’s book, we start out with Hussein fils because, well, he’s dead and Iraq is played out. But what’s not to love? This is a guy who caned athletes’ feet for not performing well enough and carried an electric cattle prod for extra reinforcement. However, his chances at the top slot suffered a terminal blow when he got himself blown up by an American bomb. Salaam alaykum, my friend.

Medellin, Colombia

After scoring a devastating own goal during the 1994 World Cup, Andrés Escobar returned home and found out the hard way that leaving drug lords on the wrong side of a huge gambling debt does not help your own life expectancy. As if to add insult to injury, the killer supposedly yelled “Goooooooooooooooooooool” after each one of the twelve shots. Of course, this is right around the corner from where a disputed soccer match led to an all-out war so I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised.

The Chinese Olympic Baseball Team

No team likes to be showed up on its own turf and it didn’t help when the US team used a couple hard-nosed plays to take it to the Chinese team. However, even though throwing high and tight is a time-honored part of the game, beaning someone is not something you usually expect to see in the Olympics. Thanks China. It’s not like you already won more gold medals than us anyway, Sheesh.

I could go on and on with more examples but after pointing out our gold medal winner, I’ll leave it up to our loyal readers to tell us what we missed. So, without any further ado…

 

 

The top prize definitely has to go to Angel Matos from the baseball crazy country of Cuba. Mr. Matos was disqualified from his Olympic tae kwan do match for taking too much time during an injury timeout at which point he decided to give the ref an injury timeout of his own.http://media.imeem.com/pl/I71UF7mOed/aus=false/pv=2/

After the international committee reviewed the friendly tap, it appears Angel got himself a permanent timeout. Don’t worry, though, Angel. El Commandante Fidel Castro came out and blamed the whole thing on a capitalist plot.

Hm, maybe the prize should actually go to Castro and his clan for their ability to blame the yanquis for every Cuban misstep since 1959. Now, if it were the Yankees he blamed instead, I could get behind that.

-A