Results tagged ‘ Angels ’

Some Happy for Your Saturday

Has losing your living legend got you down?

Do you see Halos everywhere you look?

Tired of trying to compute just how many zeroes Number 5 left you for?

I’m so with ya.  In fact, I’ve been so blue the last 10 days that the RSBS interns decided to dig up something special to make me smile.


I don’t know about you, but I done fell outta my chair.

Happy Saturday!

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 31: Albert’s Infinite Zeros and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

Albert. Frakking. Pujols. Could this episode really be about anything else? Give it a listen, close your eyes and imagine Jeff really is strangling Johanna. No. Seriously. Do that. Please?

TRY IT!!!

Also, remember to send us a picture (to rsbsblog@gmail.com) showing why you’re RSBS‘ biggest fan so YOU can win some sweet Oakley Bender sunglasses from our good friends at Crown Royal. Pass the crown, yo!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter for all his movie magic updates and make sure to check out his crew and their hilariousness on the Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, December 10, 2011

Top 10 Ways I Avoided the Pujols Press Conference

10.  Beer

9.  Acetone

8.  Subjected Myself to Amy Grant’s Greatest Hits

7.  More Beer

6.  Whisky

5.  NBA Network

4.  Dissected a Battery, Smoked What I Found, Had a Conversation with a Fern

3. Murder (Not Telling… HINT: Involved a Smurf)

2.  Boilermaker

1.  This Video… Over and Over and Over Again…


Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

From Legend to Just Great: It Really Is All About the Money

The older I get, the less value I see in vitriol.

I am trying not to be angry right now.

But I am hurt.

I’m human.  And humans have feelings — feelings that, obviously, get hurt.  I understand Albert Pujols had some hurt feelings too, because Ryan Howard — a mere scrub in comparison — was making more money than him.

Boo hoo.

Once again, a professional athlete tells the world with his actions that the fans don’t really matter — that having statues erected in one’s honor, charitable foundations in one’s namesake and a universal key to the city, forever and ever and ever just ain’t worth a pass at a few extra million.

The Cardinals will be fine.  Maybe they go hard after Prince now.  Or maybe they just move Lance to first and let Freese and Craig become superstars hitting in front of and behind Matt Holliday.  Maybe they go and get Jimmy Rollins or one of a bazillion other high value free agents.

But Albert Pujols’ legacy will not be fine.  No longer will we mention him among legendary Cardinals like Gibson, Brock and Ozzie.  His seat next to Stan the Man is no longer available.

That was Albert’s choice.

Pujols will be remembered as a great Cardinal, yes, but one who, in the end, was all about the money.  I thank him for all the memories — memories I will hold dear to my heart until the day I die.

But now there’s no denying that those memories will always be bittersweet.  And there’s nothing I can do about it.  In the end, the fans don’t matter.  And that’s just a reality we’re all going to have to deal with on our own.

Peace,

Jeff

Weekend at Jeffy’s

As you probably know by now, last weekend I finally got to sit down with Jeff and Johanna to record an RSBS Podcast in person.  The recording session took place around noon but the day didn’t end there.  No, it continued for many hours, many drinks and many laughs.  Sadly, though, we apparently did not party hard enough because it pales in comparison to the weekend Robert Young and Mark Rubinson had.

One of these days I’ll find myself back in the Chi and I hope we can take a mulligan on last weekend’s events.  I think that if we really tried, we could even go so hard that we become Angels’ fans:

On second thought….

-A

The Filibuster

College football and the NFL have both come back with a vengeance but for MLB, there really aren’t any compelling races at this point.  How can baseball compete?

Ryan
Otsego, MI
___________________________________

Pardon my frankness here, Ryan, but…

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT?

No compelling races?  How can baseball compete?

Put down that tequilla shooter (slowly) and check the boxscores before you miss out!

Because the time is NOW for September baseball and there is PLENTY to be excited about.  Right now the AL East is as tight a race as they come, and believe me: the Yankees and Red Sox both want to win that division as each would rather draw the weaker opponent in the ALDS.  Meanwhile, the AL Central is anything but locked down.  Sure it might not be neck and neck, but if the Tigers have taught us anything in the last few years, it’s that they definitely know how to blow a sure thing.  And if you think the Rangers aren’t worried about the creeping Angels of Los Anaheim, ya might wanna put down the vodka too (keep the whisky, for now).

In the National League, sure the East, Central and Wild Card races seem to be locked down, but the NL West is still undecided.  The Diamondbacks are coming on strong but if the Giants can just average one run a game, with THAT pitching staff, they have a pretty good shot.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love football just as much as any other loud proud US American, but early season games being more important than the stretch baseball run?  Not in my world.  Not even close!

If you’re not feelin’ it, I gotta think that maybe it’s your fault.  Sit down and watch one of these games that matters.  Or, don’t.  I mean, STRASMAS is comin’ this year, so you could watch that!  Or check out a Bluejays game to watch the Joey Bats and Brett Lawrie Show!  Or get your buddies together for an Orioles game and every time they make an error, miss the cut-off man or fail to advance a runner TAKE A DRINK!  You’ll be so loaded by the third inning that your decision making skills will deteriorate to a level that will GUARANTEE a night of awesome once you hit the club.

Hate me ‘cuz I promote promiscuous behavior while championing the greatest game on earth, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Curious as to why they call Mr. Krause “The Bumpiest 30 Seconds You’ll Ever Find”?  Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

Brandon of the d’Urbervilles

angry mob.jpgBeing a Major League franchise’s top prospect can’t be easy.  With the big money post-draft signing bonuses, a constantly lecherous media hype and swarms of unwaveringly moody fans who want-want-want now-now-now, I imagine the amount of pressure that young, talented baseballers put on themselves is beyond my pedestrian understanding.

But I do know this: every great once in a while, that young talent becomes Jason Heyward.  Most of the time, however, that talent ends up being Felix Pie… or Cameron Maybin… or Todd Van Poppel.

Brandon Wood is in a class all by himself.

Drafted in 2003, the buzz around Wood (the Angels’ top prospect for at least six years now) has been simmering with whispers of his immense, raw talent evidenced as he plowed through and destroyed the minor leagues.  But despite the club’s confidence in his abilities, Wood has been unable to escape the scary truth: he just hasn’t hit at the Big League level.

brandon wood sad.jpgIn 464 at-bats spread over 173 games in five years, dude has managed an embarrassingly flaccid .168 batting average, and I’m sure no one is more upset about that than Wood himself.

The Angels designated him for assignment on Tuesday.  By all accounts, it was a sad departure, for both he and the club.

But one of the things I love about baseball is that it is always eager to offer a second chance.  Perhaps Wood will get picked up by a team that will give him a starting job, no questions asked.  Perhaps the pressure that has built up and the disappointment that lingers over him can be brushed aside, forgotten.  Perhaps Wood will allow himself to just be Brandon, and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, wants, needs.

If he does that, maybe his talent will shine. 

If things don’t work out, at least he can say he gave it his very best.

And there is absolutely no shame in that.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

the fly pod.jpg

Apocalypse Yesterday

2012 apocalypse.jpg

Yes, dear readers, I know that we still have at least 15 more months before Mayan legend is set to destroy the universe, but I’m afraid ruination and chaos might already be here, making 2012 moot.

Don’t believe me?

Well, you know Sarah Palin is on Twitter, right?  Not only that, but she’s also doling out advice to overnight Teabagger sensation, Christine O’Donnell:

C.
O’Donnell strategy: time’s limited;use it 2 connect w/local voters whom
you’ll be serving vs appeasing nat’l media seeking ur destruction


Yes, Christine!  Seeking… your… destruction!  Bwahhhhhhhhhh!  Me want freedom to touch myself!  Me want witchcraft-free Delaware!  Me want answer to Teabagging claim of fiscal responsibility despite inability to pay back your college loans!  Bwahhhhhh!  How dare we demand such clarity!  Bwahhhhhh! 

Gotta be a sign of the apocalypse.


werth_hyena.jpg

If not that, then how about the colossal union of two universally disliked MLB wormbags?  That’s right, folks.  Jayson Werth (and his beard) have teamed up with Scott Boras to form the sort of free agent chimera that will have everyone talking more zeroes ad nauseum this winter.  Look, I get it.  Dude wants to get paid.  No problem with that.  But for someone whom the public has already deemed a megafortified jerk, it seems like hiring the sleaziest of the bunch to fetch that money might not have been the best public relations move.  Oh, and it also means he won’t be an Angel next season. 

The Angels handcuffed into quelling big time free-agent magic?  Gotta be a sign of the apocalypse.

Of course, nothing can predict the end of the world is near better than our US American justice system playing host to a caffeine insanity defense, in a murder trial!  Sorry, your honor.  Two Jolt colas and a bottle of Ride-the-Snake diet pills and I just couldn’t STOP MYSELF FROM MURDERING MY ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD!

Um… okay.

It is no secret that I am a caffeine addled man myself.  But I would never use that as an excuse to kill someone.  Insult my going-nowhere Redbirds and maybe we can talk creative defense strategies, but to blame it on caffeine?

There’s no other explanation, folks.  It’s gotta be another sign.

So go ahead and hate me ‘cuz time’s runnin’ out.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 2: Albert’s Anti-Slump… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and his sCrUBS fan nemesis pal, Johanna Mahmud, get back in the studio and throw down on the art of being right!  Among the titillating topics of discussion: mispronouncing dominance [Doc Halladay] and futility [John Grabow], Brandon Phillips’ wings, a wild war of words over Albert Pujols, the Lou Piniella Mailbag and much, much more.

Holla!

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Subscribe
to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe
via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special
thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  He always knows when the Hawks are (or aren’t) gonna get donged.

Recorded Monday, May 31, Memorial Day 2010

The Filibuster

Guys, the season is starting in a few days and I still haven’t seen an
honest to god prediction out of you yet.  What do you think?  Is there
anyone who can keep the Yankees from repeating?

-Lee
Sandusky, OH
____________________________________

We haven’t made any predictions yet?  Oh yeah, I guess predicting that the Detroit Tigers will suck this year isn’t really a prediction, it’s just a known fact.  Considering that it is that time of year when everyone is making some sort of bold statement as to who is gonna win and who isn’t, I think you’re right, Lee.  It is time for RSBS to jump into the prognostication pool (that sounds like something one would find in Vegas) and so we do as only we at RSBS (I, Jeff, not Al ‘cuz he’s a slacker) know how.

Shall we?
(subliminal messages start now)

kourtney kardashian bikini.jpgNL East
Compared to its AL counterpart, this division isn’t quite the sexy beast it used to be.  The team to beat is the Phillies; and while the Mets look to give a better effort than last year if healthy while the Braves and Marlins lurk behind with plenty of potential, I still don’t see how the Phillies can lose this division.  Oh wait.  Yes I can; his name is Brad Lidge.

Yet I think the Phils still win it.  Ya can’t get much worse than Lidge was last year and they still won the league.

Phillies.  Probably.


jenna fischer 2.jpgNL Central
Come now, is there really any competition here?  Yeah, sure the Brewers can bop with the best of them but have you seen their pitching staff?  Exactly.  The sCrUBS?  Er…. no.  The Astros?  Stop playin’.  The Pirates?  The Pirates!?!?  Ha!  The only team in this division who might give the Cardinals a run is the Cincinnati Reds, and for that to happen Aroldis Chapman and Johnny Cueto have to both deliver the goods like seasoned professionals (they’re not) and Aaron Harang would have to keep his ERA under 10 (he won’t)… not to mention the fact that Dusty Baker would have to not destroy someone’s arm (he will).

Cardinals.  No question.

heidi derosa.jpgNL West
Hmm.  This is an interesting division.  My heart says San Fransisco but my heart also says I should be able to drink a fifth of scotch and still be able to dance the merengue with some amount of poise.  In other words, my heart is a goddamn liar.  There are too many question marks in the Dodgers young pitching staff that I can’t put my money on them.  So I turn towards the Rockies — a team with balance, a team with Tulo, a team with purple pinstripes.

Rockies.

San Francisco joins as the Wild Card.

erin.andrews.jpgAL East
Yankees, Red Sox, Yankees, Red Sox… bla bla bla.  Not this year, folks.  Yankees, Rays, Yankees, Rays… and Brian Matusz.  The Yankees are the best in baseball.  Hard to argue against that.  The 2010 Red Sox are not the Red Sox we’re used to seeing.  They made a major mistake by not bringing back Jason Bay and they’re gonna suffer for it.  The Rays… this is the year for them.  It’s now or never.  And just for fun, let it be known that Brian Matusz of the Baltimore Orioles is one hell of a pitching phenom and a reason to tune into their games every once in a while.

Yankees win without even trying.

Rays take the Wild Card.

lucy liu.jpgAL Central
With so much money going towards roster scrubs and the recently anointed singles-machine, Magglio Ordonez, the Tigers of 2010 will look more like the Tigers of 2003.  Okay, maybe not that bad, but still, they ain’t goin’ anywhere.  The Twins will be in the race, but I suspect they will be playing a lot of doubleheaders this year due to that new open air stadium; and their team is still built for turf.  I don’t see them catching the White Sox, who in my opinion have the best starting five of any other team in the Majors.  If Peavy stays healthy and Floyd and Danks kick it up a notch, I don’t see how they could be beat.  Keep your eye on Gordon Beckham too.  He’s gonna be a superstar.

White Sox.

Allison.Stokke.jpgAL West
Like its National League version, this division causes me fits.  The Rangers are right on the cusp of doing something great; but then I look at their pitching staff and see a bunch of crooked numbers on the board against them.  The A’s?  Uh… no offense, but if you rely on Kurt Suzuki to produce all your offense, I cannot take you seriously.  The Mariners look like they should be much improved; but I’m not drinking that kool-aid yet ‘cuz as of now, they haven’t done jack.  And how can I possibly bet against a proven winner, a team that gets it done year after year after year? 

The Angels win the West.  Why?  ‘Cuz they do everything right.

And they have a rally monkey.

Playoffs
Now when you put all these pretty teams together, choosing one over the other is no easy task.  They’re all yummy winners.  They’re all well-proportioned hot.  They’re all doable talented.

So what is one to do?

Personally, I like to fantasize about a world where they’re all in the same room, having fun and going at it with uncompromising competitive bite.  But understanding how unrealistic that is, I guess I have no choice but to choose one. 

Or two.

These two:

jenna fischer 2.jpgAnd again, my lying, cheating, pipe-dreaming heart tells me that the Cardinals are better than the Yankees.  Yet, I’m smart enough to know that saying as much is not only unrealistic, it’s just plain fantasy.

Still, one can dream, right?

Hate me ‘cuz I get ya all flustered, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not
together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster
question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at
kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Unwanted Victoria Secret catalogues and bootleg copies of Predators also welcome.

(all images scraped from the interwebs)


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