Results tagged ‘ Bill Maher ’

Welcome to Ground Zero!

bud_selig_dictator.jpgWelcome to the year of the revolution!  Not yet 1/6 of the way through 2011, we have already seen dictatorships toppled in Tunisia and Egypt while other autocrats stumble to shore up support by various means.  But what about back here in America?  We watch the news and post Facebook messages in support of Egyptians and Tunisians but ignore the totalitarians in our midst.  I for one think it time that we stand up and take back what is rightfully ours.  And like all revolutions, we need to start by chopping off the head of the snake.  Bud Selig must go!

To this end, I offer up the RSBS Twitter feed as ground zero in the revolution.  When Selig takes down the blog to help protect his ill-gotten gains, we still have a rallying point.  And make no mistake, he will try to silence the revolution.  Take a look at the facts. 

At this point Selig has been in power for almost 20 years, two decades in which he fiddled while baseball burned during the ’94 strike and ignored the nearly fatal excesses of the steroid era.  He has reaped the rewards of a fundamentally flawed system even as the popularity of baseball wanes in the face of challenges from the NFL and Nascar (check out Bill Maher’s recent explanation here).  King Bud has abdicated his duty and for that he must go.

Revolution is not simple and sacrifice is required.  However, our sacrifice can also hit Selig and his cabal of cronies where it really hurts: the pocketbook.  How do we do this?  Well, imagine no one showing up on Opening Day, leaving the ballparks were empty while fans mill around outside chanting “Bud must go!”  Sure, it sounds far-fetched but two months ago so was the idea that Hosni Mubarak would be chased out despite holding the reins of the state police and the military in his iron fist.

We know Bud’s sins.  We don’t need WikiLeaks because it’s all out there, plain as day.  We just need the spark that will ignite this conflagration.  That spark is coming and in six weeks it ignites the revolution.  March 31, 2011.  Baseball’s Independence Day.

-A

The Filibuster

The Lovable Losers, while accurately representing at least one of those monikers, managed to lose three straight NLDS games for the second year in a row. As good a team as they were on paper and throughout the season, is it safe to say that the “curse of the billy goat” is indeed a real phenomenon?

–Jeff
                                                                                      

I’ve seen and heard some pretty crazy things in my time. I have a friend who swears on his life that he saw the ghosts of three children in his room one night while we were both living in Africa. Personally, I had a snake in my house one day that a neighbor told me was the result of a curse. And you know what? I don’t doubt either one of those things. But if you try to tell me that the Cubs lost because of some long dead cloven-hoofed animal, well, I’ve got a bridge up in Brooklyn I wouldn’t mind selling you.

hillary_cubs2.jpgThe fact of the matter is, the Cubs just stunk. They couldn’t field the ball. They couldn’t hit. And they definitely couldn’t score runs. The real problem with the Cubs was not a curse. It was hubris. As you have mentioned several times, including the other day, the Cubs, along with the whole north side of Chicago, were sure that this was their year. It had been 100 years and they had the best team in the NL. What could possibly stand in their way? It was their turn, right? But, the Cubs suffered the same fate as Hillary Clinton. Entitlement is no substitute for elbow grease as both Mrs. Clinton and the Cubs discovered.

I want to get back to the idea of curses, though. Athletes and sports fans tend to be a superstitious lot and so the notion of a curse makes perfect sense in that context. Hell, I’ve been a Lions fan for years and if any team’s fans have the right to believe they’re cursed, the Lions’ sure do. But really, the Lions are just a terrible team with poor management. Curses are the easy way out.

Believing in curses is like believing in god. If it’s what gets you through the day and keeps you from chopping up someone on a bus, go for it. But the idea of some guy cursing a team because he couldn’t watch a game with his goat 60 years ago makes only slightly more sense than the idea of the entire world being made in 6 days, six thousand years ago by some omnipotent being with a split-personality disorder. Again, if you buy that I’m willing to throw in that bridge for only a few dollars more.
http://www.thedailyshow.com/sitewide/video_player/view/default/swf.jhtml

So here’s a short but sweet answer to your question: The Cubs lost because of hubris and curses are the “opiate” of the fans. And yes, it really is that simple.

-A

Wishful Thinking?


benjamin franklin.jpg“If a man could have half of his wishes, he would double his troubles.”

                         — Benjamin Franklin (1705 – 1790)

 

So?  Maybe those troubles would actually be worth it, Benji.  Ever think of that?  Probably not.

Because you’re dead.

But if you were alive I don’t think you’d see the harm in my team having a good run like the Yankees did in ’96, ’98, ’99 and 2000 if it meant I’d have to endure a decade of them being awful.  I do remember the ’90s I’ll have you know.

So let’s just entertain this idea for a second and ask the baseball gods to grant me these three wishes:

 

May the Cardinals Reach the Post-Season

Doesn’t seem like this is still out of reach but I feel like I better wish for it anyway.  The rest of the schedule appears to support the possiblity: three games with the Cubs — who have proven thus far in September that they are still the Cubs – and then the Pirates, Reds, three more with the Cubs, then the Diamondbacks and Reds to finish out the season.  Excluding the NL Central leaders, it doesn’t seem like that tough of a task. 

Then again, “the Cardinals shouldn’t have made it this far” say the baseball pundits. 

 

May the Palin Hype Be Exposed for What It Actually Is: HYPE

Yeah, I know it’s asking a lot to have the baseball gods interfere in politics, but this is important… very important.  Sure, she’s attractive.  She’s sassy.  She’s got that sparkly star-quality that has been absent from the GOP since the Reagan years.  But does she really warrant this?

sarah palin doll.jpgI think as the double standard dissolves, the hair comes down and we US Americans get a handle on what she really stands for (teaching creationism in schools, taking away a woman’s right to choose, making sure firearms are still readily available) people will get a clue and start digging on those issues.  Having Palin one literal heartbeat away from the highest office in the world is pretty scary s*** if you ask me.

 

May Successful Baseball Players Learn Not to Injure Themselves In Frustration and Damage Their Teams’ Chances at Making a Playoff Run

Carlos Quentin slamming his wrist against his bat because he was upset that he struck out was not cool.  Carlos Quentin slamming his wrist against his bat (because he was upset that he struck out) and subsequently ending his season was definitely not cool.  Didn’t anyone learn anything from Kevin Brown?  If your name is Donnie Dolittle and you ride the bench, fine, go ahead and take yourself out of the lineup indefinitely.  But if you’re the catalyst for everything that has been good for the surprise Southsiders this season, then you certainly need to grow up and NOT hurt yourself.

Thankfully, the Sox aren’t out of the playoff hunt because of this, but they are a million times better with Quentin in the lineup. 

Yes.

These are the only things I ask for, folks.  That’s it.  Nothing else… 

But before I go, I’d like to introduce Gov. Palin to Bill Maher:

 

You can hate him.  You can hate me.  But don’t hate us ‘cuz we’re right.

Peace,

Jeffy

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 66 other followers