Results tagged ‘ Cowboys ’

Like Monopoly Money

When you’re a millionaire athlete, it’s easy to laugh at practical jokes.  Like when Dez Bryant goes out for dinner with his teammates and gets stuck with the bill.  A percentage of his signing bonus makes that problem go away.  However, that signing bonus doesn’t help so much with a 1-7 start to the season.  Maybe in baseball you can come back but in a 16 game football schedule, it’s not so easy.

So, I can imagine that Dez Bryant must be feeling a bit like the guy in this video.  You think you know what you’re getting into but then someone goes in and changes the rules.  Hey, don’t you guys know that the Cowboys are America’s Team?  And that you have to have two houses on the property before you can sell it?

Happy Friday!

-A

The Graphic Truth: Things That Usually Happen in September

things that usually happen in september.jpg

Yep.  It’s that time of year again, folks.  And baseball fans the world over have an eye on the purple and black.

With good reason.

Their three and four guys are murdering.  Everyone. 

Did I mention Tulo’s hair?

Believe me.  There are two whole weeks left in the schedule; and this is gonna get good.

Hate me ‘cuz it’s the thing to do, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Sharing with Shapiro

cleveland indians logo.jpgNevermind all that pre-NLCS/ALCS buzz dancing around the internets and such as, the Iraq!  Soon we will all have more than our wanted fill of Joe Buck self-righteous proclamations and ear-numbing Chip Carary-isms.  For now, let us focus on the larger, more looming and lurid task of finding the Cleveland Indians a new manager.  Shall we?

Yep.  John Farrell is no longer in the mix.  They can’t afford Bobby Valentine.  And unfortunately, dear readers, Lou Brown has gone back to selling tires… forever.

That’s why I, along with the fastidious help of our always reliable RSBS interns, have prepared a list of potential managerial candidates for Indians GM Mark Shapiro, whom we all know is too busy lamenting the contract of one Travis “I Ain’t Got It No More” Hafner and the cruel reality of a midge-less postseason.

Mark, here is the shortlist of suggested targets:

Bill Parcells
Sure, the Big Tuna ain’t no baseball guy; we know that.  But he was born to win (and eat… a lot).  Besides, just think of what hiring this former Cowboy coach could do for the long neglected and oft polarized relationship between Cowboys and Indians.  Mark, it is time to heal these wounds.

Chief Illiniwek
Since being shunned and axed by his University of Illinois home (where he was a staple presence for 81 years), the Great Chief doesn’t really have much to do but stay in and get drunk all day.  Hey, you can get drunk at the ballpark too, Chief!  Plus, having such a standard bearer of Native American tradition might help the Indians solve that whole racist image thing they’ve had goin’ on for… y’know… ever.

Nap LaJoie
Oh, wait.  He’s dead.  Never mind.

Earl Averill
He’s dead too?  Sorry.

Lou Boudreau

Whoops.  My bad.  Okay.  No more dead guys of French descent.

Ahem.

Well, then that leaves me with just one more super managerial candidate for Mr. Shapiro and that person is:

sarah_palin.jpgSarah Palin
Look, if you’re gonna build a bridge to nowhere, ya might as well build it on the Cuyahoga River.

Hate me ‘cuz I’m on point, all the time, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

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