Results tagged ‘ Cy Young ’

RSBS Postseason Awards Show: Part II

With Major League Baseball and various publications handing out their end of the season awards, RSBS has
decided to follow suit. Sure, our prizes may not come with any
financial reward and they may not trigger any clauses in the affected
players’ contracts. But, it is our civic duty. So, without further ado,
we present Part II of our two part Postseason Awards Show. Jeff, take it away.

__________________________________

adam wainwright.jpgMost Prolific Snub:
Adam Wainwright
Come now.  No Cy Young Award for the anchoring, go-getting horse of the Cardinals pitching staff?  Oh.  Okay.  Look, I get it.  Lincecum is good.  He’s really good.  But in 2009, Wainwright was better.  If you don’t agree with me, well, go get high, eat some Doritos and listen to Beck.


Most Alarming Faux Accusation:

That I had anything to do with the Erin Andrews peep-show tape
Ha ha ha, y’all.  Very funny.  As soon as news broke that some dude took nudey video of Ms. Andrews while she undressed in front of her hotel boudoir, my phone blew up with texts, tweets, calls and restraining orders.  It wasn’t me.  I swear.  I wish it was… sorta.


Allen Krause.jpgMost Consistent Whiner:
Allen Krause
Oh, waa-waa-waa, the Tigers blew the season; waa-waa-waa the Lions are awful; waa-waa-waa I don’t like hockey and Bill Laimbeer slept with my girlfriend.  Whatever, dude.  Be like those who used to live in Detroit and just leave it… and its sports teams.  And know that you’ll never live up to Bill Laimbeer.  Don’t you remember that gimp mask?

Most Laughable Pre-Season Prediction:
That the Cubs would win the World Series
Up until early August of this year, I was still hearing the precocious murmurings of this being the year for the Cubs.  Those individuals would say something in defense now but they can’t because their heads are stuck deep in the sand.  Milton Bradley.  Carlos Zambrano.  Alfonso Soriano.  One has the mentality of a child.  One saves his best game for the Gatorade cooler.  One can’t lay off sliders in the dirt.  Get over it.

And finally…

chip caray fisted.jpgMost Disgusting Broadcast Catch Phrase:
Chip Caray

“FISTED!!!”

We at RSBS are at least grateful that we don’t have to deal directly with Chip Caray and his fisting fetish.  Well, let me say that I am grateful.  I cannot speak for Al on this subject.

Hate me ‘cuz you can, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

From Right Field to the Parking Lot

Jimmy_smokes.jpgAs the postseason awards get handed out and as Yankees fans revel in what 1.4 billion dollars can do for you, those of us cheering for also-ran teams have to sit back and hope for better luck next year. Yep, next year could be the year when Verlander wins his Cy Young, Miguel Cabrera finally walks off with the MVP award and Jimmy Leyland and the Tigers win the Series. It’s not impossible.

But even if this is just a pipe dream, it’s still better than watching the Lions continue to redefine terrible, one loss at a time. We used to have the Pistons but they’re just ordinary anymore. And I suppose there are the Red Wings but I am not nor have I ever been Canadian so that just doesn’t do it for me.

The thing is that the Tigers have all the pieces. They’re just missing that elusive something, that killer instinct that could put them over the top. You don’t put that many Venezuelans on a team and not expect some sort of revolution. Expectations are about all we have these days, though.

This whole process is kind of like that old song about playing right field. You daydream about the ideal situation and everything coming together but then something wakes you up and you face the truth, the terror of a baseball hurtling your way. For me, that something is one of my favorite Twitter streams, Sh!tMyDadSays. And if you scroll down to the tweet on October 8th, you’ll see what I mean. Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Hope springs eternal, though. And in case you’ve forgotten the song, the kid ultimately ends up making the catch out in right field. Who knows? Maybe next year the Tigers will get the good news that Justin’s dad thinks they deserve. But I’m betting on god taking another dump in the parking lot.

-A

K.C.’s Comet

zack greinke.jpgLike Halley’s and Hale-Bopp, every great once in a while a comet will pass through the Kansas City Royal’s universe, causing the hapless west Missouri team to be relevant, if only briefly.

Such cases have been well documented: In 1985, Don Denkinger handed the World Series Championship directly to the Royals.  Some twenty years later, Hall of Famer George Brett revealed to the world his celebratory penchant for soiling himself.

And now, in 2009, Royals ace Zack Greinke hopes to snatch the Cy Young Award from big name, big money pitchers from big markets.

When Greinke wins on Tuesday it will be an historic event.  For the first time ever in the history of the franchise, the Royals will be relevant for something other than a bunch of s***.

And that, dear readers, is called crawling out of the gutter… where they will quickly return to on Wednesday.

Hate me ‘cuz I prey on the weak, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Image courtesy of Getty Images)

Big Lay-Z

the big z.jpg“I’ll be running nice and easy, just taking my time, not hustling.  I apologize to the Cubs fans.”
 — Carlos Zambrano, on how he’ll play upon his return from the disabled list
 (Chicago Tribune Article)

The good news is Carlos Zambrano doesn’t have to take the fall for this mope wreck of a statement.  The chain of command comes from up high and the Chicago Cubs suits are proving that not only do they not know how to win when it matters, but they also don’t know how to manage the public image of their players.

So, the really bad news is that baseball has openly lowered its standards.  You don’t have to hustle anymore, folks — especially if you’re a ticking time-bomb with a slingshot arm and a once-sore hammy that has now fully healed, leaving no pain.

Indeed, Cy Young is rolling in his grave.

Okay, so I gotta ask:  If Zambrano feels no pain then why won’t he be hustling on the field? 

In the wake of steroids, with pandemic doubt blanketing the game from New York to Los Angeles to Los Angeles of Anaheim, the last thing we (and especially Cubs) fans need is to know that some players aren’t giving it their all and that management is okay with that.  If you’re not healthy enough to play the game the way the game is supposed to be played, then you shouldn’t be playing the game… I don’t care how talented you are.

Note to Cubs: either sew Zambrano’s mouth shut or hire a new P.R. person.  I got just the guy for you too — even colored his hair to match your duds:

perez hilton.jpgDon’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

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