Results tagged ‘ Elena Kagan ’

Kagan at the Bat

the president stands by his White Sox, even while halfway across the country.  But now we find out that new Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan, has an appreciation for sport in her past as well.  However, it hasn’t come without controversy.

Tuesday’s Wall Street Journal had an old photo of Kagan playing softball on the front page which immediately led to public outcry.  Outcry?  Why, because that implies that she drinks or something?

Nope.  Instead it turns out that all female softball players are gay, a fact I wish I had been made aware of before.  Now I’m always going to wonder about that softball player I hooked up with in college.  Did she know that she was a lesbian?

Either way, we face an important moment.  No, I don’t mean the nomination of the first gay Supreme Court Justice.  Clarence Thomas already covered that.  What I mean is, what can we tell about Kagan and her policies from this picture?

Well, the first thing we notice is that she’s a righty.  I guess she could be a switch-hitter but we don’t even want to open that can of worms.  She also has a decent stance and she’s choking up on the bat a little to shorten the swing.  All in all, I’d say it looks like she knows what she’s doing. 

Which is good news because it means Obama also knows what he’s getting into.  If Reagan had known about Robert Bork’s infamous balk that lost his team the circuit court softball league championship in the summer of ’87, he might have thought twice about nominating him to the court so fresh on the heels of such disaster.  The bad blood from that alone probably cost him the votes of a couple senators who had money (and more) riding on the game.*

-A

*Although possible, RSBS has no proof of Bork’s softball shenanigans.  Or Ted Kennedy losing his man-ginity to Jesse Helms as a result of that balk.  However, we can assure you that Bork most certainly was not ratified by the senate and never sat on the Supreme Court.  Although who knows what happened in an alternate universe……?

No Experience Required

elena kagan.jpgFor the Matt Drudges, Satanic She-Worms and Jabba the Huts of the world, President Obama’s controversial decision to seat an inexperienced left-leanin’ lawyer to the world’s highest court is not going too well.  Indeed, dear readers, the rip-roarin’ has already commenced with character-bashing slander at the ready: “she has no experience!”… “she’s part of the Chicago machine!”… “She’s ugly! You sure that ain’t Gary Dell’abate!?!”

No.

I am not sure that she is not Gary Dell’abate.

gary dellabate.JPGBut I will try to pretend that I didn’t ever think about that.

She has no experience.  So what?  Does she have what it takes?  Does she have the balls to — wait, never mind.

As is the case with baseball, experience doesn’t always guarantee success.

Mike Leake never pitched a game in the minors and yet he has a record of 3-0 right now, one of those wins coming against the sCrUBS (which nets him extra points ‘cuz I say so).

Don Denkinger never had any experience being completely retarded for one single World Series play yet he managed to get the job done in 1985.

aj hinch.jpgAnd let me remind you of a fella who didn’t have any managerial experience whatsoever: a man, who as a player achieved a lifetime batting average of .219 with 32 homers and 112 RBI.  That man’s name is A.J. Hinch and that man manages the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Arizona Diamonbacks are… um… the D’backs are…

Pay no attention.

We’re all in this US American mess together. 

I hope.

Hate me ‘cuz it’s trendy, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

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