Results tagged ‘ Fidel Castro ’

Bottom of the Ninth in Venezuela

We have good news and bad news over here at RSBS.  The good news is that the people of Venezuela could soon see themselves with an actual government instead of a cult of personality.  The bad news is, RSBS could soon have to find a new baseball loving world leader it can make fun of.  Sure, Fidel is still out there but he’s more of a hermit than a leader these days.  And other baseball-crazy countries seem to have more pressing issues to attend to which means less time to turn their countries into Bolivarian Republics or anything along those lines.  No, I’m afraid that when Hugo goes, the crazy goes with him.

So, RSBS is putting out the call.  Help us find a new world leader (or at least some sort of opinion-maker) who loves baseball but is just a little loose in the cranial wiring.  My first thought was Mitt Romney but since he might possibly be a unicorn, I don’t know as though he’s a viable option.  Hillary Clinton seemed good, too, but it’s hard to play nice with someone who claims to be both a Yankees and Cubs fan.  Granted, that’s still better than Bill Richardson’s claim to simultaneous Red Sox and Yankees fandom.

It might just be that we’ve hit a cold streak.  World leaders love soccer and whatever sport their national team is good at.  Baseball?  It’s just too much of a niche.  But hey, there’s always Japan!

-A

Turn the Other Cheek, My A**

It’s easy to be a gracious winner. I mean, you won. You have nothing to lose by being magnanimous and a lot of commercial endorsements to win by doing the same (if you’re some sort of athlete). However, I don’t care about gracious winners. That’s boring. I prefer the guy who loses and then lashes out at whomever or whatever is nearby. With that, I give you the RSBS countdown of the worst losers.
 

hussein_uday.jpgUday Hussein
 
Although he would have to be a strong contender for the number one spot in anyone’s book, we start out with Hussein fils because, well, he’s dead and Iraq is played out. But what’s not to love? This is a guy who caned athletes’ feet for not performing well enough and carried an electric cattle prod for extra reinforcement. However, his chances at the top slot suffered a terminal blow when he got himself blown up by an American bomb. Salaam alaykum, my friend.

andres_escobar.jpgMedellin, Colombia

After scoring a devastating own goal during the 1994 World Cup, Andrés Escobar returned home and found out the hard way that leaving drug lords on the wrong side of a huge gambling debt does not help your own life expectancy. As if to add insult to injury, the killer supposedly yelled “Goooooooooooooooooooool” after each one of the twelve shots. Of course, this is right around the corner from where a disputed soccer match led to an all-out war so I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised.

The Chinese Olympic Baseball Team

No team likes to be showed up on its own turf and it didn’t help when the US team used a couple hard-nosed plays to take it to the Chinese team. However, even though throwing high and tight is a time-honored part of the game, beaning someone is not something you usually expect to see in the Olympics. Thanks China. It’s not like you already won more gold medals than us anyway, Sheesh.

I could go on and on with more examples but after pointing out our gold medal winner, I’ll leave it up to our loyal readers to tell us what we missed. So, without any further ado…

 
Angel Matos
 
The top prize definitely has to go to Angel Matos from the baseball crazy country of Cuba. Mr. Matos was disqualified from his Olympic tae kwan do match for taking too much time during an injury timeout at which point he decided to give the ref an injury timeout of his own.http://media.imeem.com/pl/I71UF7mOed/aus=false/pv=2/
After the international committee reviewed the friendly tap, it appears Angel got himself a permanent timeout. Don’t worry, though, Angel. El Commandante Fidel Castro came out and blamed the whole thing on a capitalist plot.

Hm, maybe the prize should actually go to Castro and his clan for their ability to blame the yanquis for every Cuban misstep since 1959. Now, if it were the Yankees he blamed instead, I could get behind that.

-A

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