Results tagged ‘ HOFers ’
Situation Chipper
The 2012 season will be Chipper Jones’ last, signifying for me a quaint full circle of baseball life. From a goofy-grinned rook to an over-the-hill vet, I had the pleasure of witnessing it all, and I can’t help but tip my cap to the future Hall of Famer for all he’s done throughout his career, on and off the field.
With that, here is what immediately enters my mind whenever his name comes up:
The 1995 Season
Infuriated by a silent October in ’94, I vehemently quit on Major League Baseball. I will have nothing to do with those crooked chumps! Who do they think they are taking away my Fall Classic!?!? Troglodytes the whole lot of ‘em!
Yeah, but… see, there’s this guy named Chipper. He’s with the Braves. He’s gonna be a superstar.
And he was. 23 bombs. 86 RBIs. And one cool stroke, from both sides of the plate. By the second half of the ’95 season, all had been forgiven and I was hoarding baseball cards of a man with a goofy name.
The 2008 Season and Media Guide Photo
Now a lot of stuff happened between 1995 and 2008, but I want to focus on the monster season Chipper had. I recall arguing here with my lugubrious and oft-crotchety colleague, Mr. Allen Krause, whether or not Chipper could realistically hit .400. He made a good run at it, but had to settle for .364, and in the process provided one of the worst media guide photos of all time:
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All-Star Weekend 2009
I had the good fortune of attending the ASG in St. Louis and taking in all the awesome that comes with such an extravaganza. As you can imagine, heavy drinking was involved, and on the evening of July 13, at a seedy bar deep in the heart of Soulard, I was an accomplice to my friend losing a $100 bar bet on whether or not Chipper played any significant time at any other position than third base during his career. I found out it only takes a few vodka bombs to forget that Chipper spent a some years manning left field for the Bravos. I think my pal has forgiven me for that absentmindedness. Now if only we could remember how we ended up in Sauget smelling like frosting, covered in glitter.
Yes, I’d say Chipper had a brilliant career, even if the last few years have looked more like an AH-64 Apache helicopter crash after attempting to push its limit. What’s THAT look like? Glad ya asked!
Happy Friday!
Jeff
Don’t Make the Last Out
Gary Carter has left us, but the footprint he left on our national pastime remains as big and strong as he was during his 19-year career.
When I was 7 years old I watched Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. That one game had a huge impact on me, my imagination and why I eventually became the baseball-lovin-monster I am today.
It was the first time I’d ever witnessed “a miracle”, the first time I really understood you need 27 outs to win a baseball game and the first time I realized that there is no substitute for hard work.
Years later, as a teenager, I recall hearing Gary Carter tell his version of what took place in Flushing that night, that during his at-bat that started the astonishing go-ahead rally his only thought to himself was “Don’t make the last out.”
That resonated with me.
Don’t make the last out.
Don’t ever give up.
Don’t give any effort but your best.
Rest in peace, Number 8.
Jeff
A Stake Through the Heart?
By now, my century long-depressed baseball brethren on the north side of Chicago are aware that, despite Prince Charming occupying the king’s seat at Addison and Clark, Cubbie Land might still get turned on its head.
Oh yes.
Ryne Sandberg.
If Ryne Sandberg becomes the new manager of the St. Louis Cardinals — THE WORLD CHAMPION ST. LOUIS CARDINALS — then I think I might just pee on myself.
Oh, the joy… to think, that one of the greatest Cubs in the history of the world — THE SAME CUB WHO WAS SNUBBED OVER FOR MIKE “LAME DUCK” QUADE — could sit at the St. Louis helm with those beautiful, beautiful birds on the bat, blazing across his Hall of Fame chest.
Oh sure, Francona would be great. Oquendo too. Hell, even Pettini is good in my book.
But Ryno… oh Ryno… *SALIVATES*
A friend of mine ran into Ryno, his wife and some friends of theirs in Times Square this summer. He said he was so in awe of the Hall of Fame second baseman that he sort of lost track of his thoughts and the forced conversation sorta became… awkward.
I imagine it was the same sort of awkward that would come from him championing the Cardinals to a World Series title in 2012…
Hate me! Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right!
Peace,
Jeff
Well, We’ll Always Have This…
One with the birds-on-the-bat forever, being relished with the Medal of Freedom, still the subject of myriad barbershop tall tales.
And one who has a lot of thinking to do.
If it’s those damn MLBPA bullies makin’ it hard for ya, AP, dontcha worry. Me and Maddux got yer back.
Regardless, everyone will shut their traps if you just go out and win it all in 2011.
So yeah. Go and… uh… do that.
Thanks.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
Being 180 Degreeable
To quote a local legend who has as many haters as he does supporters, “sit back, relax and strap it down!” because I’m about to do something I don’t ever do. Ever.
That’s right, folks. I’m gonna admit to some mistakes.
Three of them. To be exact.
Now since such an occasion is as rare as Amy Winehouse is sober, y’all might wanna bookmark this for future reference (I’m sure my perverse and oft headstrong colleague, Mr. Krause, has already done so). The truth is, in order to be a true progressive — someone who is always striving to be, to do, to get better, at any and everything — one must be able to call out his own mishaps, learn from them, and then grow from them.
After being a slave to nicotine for 12 long years, on December 30, 2009, I had an epiphany (not to mention a scary heart palpitation) which forced me to quit smoking — cold turkey — forever and ever. That 180 degree turnaround inspired me to get healthy, to learn about nutrition, to educate myself on how to feel good.
And it worked. Physically and emotionally, I have never felt better in my life!
One year ago, as we stewed over the 2010 Hall of Fame ballot, I was quite adamant in my belief that Roberto Alomar didn’t qualify as a lock for the Hall. My reasoning had nothing to do with the spit-take sitch, and everything to do with my memory of how bad he was in a Mets uniform. Unfair as that assessment is/was, I went back and looked at his numbers and came to the realization that he was one of the best second basemen of all-time.
And after years of being bullied by my rowdy college mates for not seein’ what they saw in Natalie Portman as Queen Amidala during those Star Wars prequel disasters, I finally realized what the problem was: my first and lasting impression of sweet Natalie was as a 13 year-old girl engaging in strange and subtle sexual tension with a scruffy lookin’ Jean Reno. How could I be turned on by that?!?!
Of course, then there was this… and then, there was THIS.
So yeah, me and my manliness can both attest to a completely deserved and sexified 180 turn around in that regard. Just in time too, now that Natalie is off the market and devoted to makin’ babies.
Oh well. There’s always Padme’s body double!!!
Hate me ‘cuz the Constitution still allows it, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Happy Friday!
Jeff
The RSBS Podcast, Episode 15: Varitek’s Lotto Numbers… and Other Stuff
And so in this Podcast…
The hot stove is so hot that we had to add more fuel to the sizzlin’ fire! Jeff, Allen and Johanna are joined by Second City’s Mark Piebenga and Red Sox loyalist Troy Jagodowski to get down and dirty on all the offseason drama. Discussion topics include but are not limited to: what Theo Epstein was smokin’ when he re-signed Varitek, the end of Troy Tulowitski, the continued morphing of the Hall of Fame, the A-Gon deal and much, much more… all to make you laugh that milk right through your nose!
Holla!
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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*
Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*
*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. You can check out Keith’s wicked podcast and his subsequent film projects at Undercard Films. The dude has mad skillz, so you might wanna pay attention. Do it! Now!
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Recorded Saturday, December 4, 2010
The RSBS Podcast, Episode 14: Ryne Sandberg’s Phlight… and Other Stuff
And so in this Podcast…
…the fullest, rawest, most awe inspiring podcast yet, RSBS convenes as Jeff, Allen, Johanna and special guest Mark Piebenga from Second City all come together for one rip-roarin’ time! Among the topics of conversation (sponsored by Lifestyles and encouraged by Miller Lite) are strains to one’s right glute, burning one’s hand on the hot stove, hiding one’s pain with the NBA… and much, much more!
All to make you smiley face!
Holla!
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For more on Mark’s work on RSBS‘ Ninemen’s Morris series, check out this story then click on the Ninemen’s Morris tag at the bottom for more early 20th century hilarity!
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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*
Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*
*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. You can check out Keith’s wicked podcast and his subsequent film projects at Undercard Films. The dude has mad skillz, so you might wanna pay attention. Do it! Now!
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Recorded Wednesday, November 17, 2010


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