Results tagged ‘ Jack Nicholson ’

One Step at a Time

jamiemoyer.jpgGoals keep you focused.  For instance, Jamie Moyer didn’t just walk out on day one of his MLB career and say, “Hey, I want to give up at least 500 home runs over the next couple decades.”  No, he set manageable goals like, “Today I’m going to give up two homers and in my next start, only one.”  That’s how records get broken.

Sometimes goals give you purpose.  Like when Bill Clinton gets a little contemplative and starts talking about what keeps him going.  Sure, he may have been President of the United States, the greatest country in the history of the world, but he’s also just a regular guy who wants to climb Mount Kilimanjaro before he dies.  And see his grandchildren.  Oh, and run a marathon.

Now, I’m a big fan of Clinton.  But the guy is starting to look old.  If you noticed him tottering around at the World Cup, he looked like an old man wearing a young man’s clothes.  I hope he makes it to Kilimanjaro and I certainly hope he gets to see his grandchildren.  But, it might also be time to realize that those two things could be mutually exclusive.

More than that, I worry about Bill for another reason.  He said The Bucket List was one of his favorite movies.  Ok, that’s cute and all but really?  You’re a Rhodes Scholar and a past his prime Jack Nicholson running around diving out of airplanes is what does it for you? 

At the same time, if I can still run around at 63 like Clinton does, I’ll feel pretty good.  I mean, even if he doesn’t look quite as vibrant, the guy still knows where to be and how to do it.  Who knows, maybe the way he does it is by having goals.  Hey, it worked for Jamie Moyer.

-A

The Filibuster

question_mark.jpgThings seem a little topsy-turvy so far in the MLB playoffs. We still
have a long ways to go but I’m feeling a little confused as to who is
doing what and why. It helped me a little when I read Allen’s playoff
preview but I still find myself wondering who will actually come out on
top. So, what do you think Jeff? And considering your Cardinals aren’t
looking too good, I want to hear the truth, not your hopes.

Cheryl
Toledo, OH
____________________________________

Okay, Cheryl.  It’s the truth you want, is it?  You want the truth?  Ha!

Neither can I.

That’s why I’ve been conducting a little research into one of my favorite adult beverages: Kalamazoo’s very own Bell’s Oberon beer.  And this is what I’ve discovered:

It would take 17 bottles of Bell’s/Kalamazoo Oberon to kill me

Created by Bar Stools

Either that or getting swept in the National League Division Series.

As I sip on this here 16th bottle, let me disclose *burp*… the er… um… *hiccup*… thissdsk is whaat I knoooow.

  • Yankees… good
  • Angels goooooooooooooder…
  • Dodgers *hiccup*, er… I djslamurss… Padilla is uuuuuugly!!!
  • Rockies… brrrrr… remember Dante Bichette?

So there… you *burp*, have it, Chhhhhheryl.  Maybe it’s not as *hiccup* articulified and edumacated as Mr. *burp* Krause’s baseball-politico sex romp of an essay (ha! I allllmost wrote “Ese!” like “Hola vato! Que hay de nuevo!?”)…

… but… er… it’ll do.  I’ll sleep this off and be back to my normal, blathering, pedantic ssssself tomorrow.

Hate me ‘cuz I’m schnnnnnockered, Cheryl, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m not Vicente “I AM FLOPSWEAT” Padilla.

Bottoms up,

Jeff

Why I Love Crazy

julio_lugo.jpgJulio Lugo scares me. He’s the guy who walks up to you in a crowded room and sticks a knife between your ribs not because you did anything or because you deserved it but just because it seemed like the right thing to do. You can see it in his eyes.

But there is one thing I love about Julio Lugo. And that one thing is the fact that he now plays for the Cardinals and I know that this is having the same effect on Jeff as some Tijuana tap water. His intestines are forming such interesting knots at this point that he probably qualifies for some sort of merit badge.

The only other way I think you can understand how Jeff feels right now would be to imagine that you’re Jack Nicholson in the early 90’s and, as you come out of your drug and alcohol addled haze one morning, you read that the Lakers have decided to bring Bill Laimbeer on board. Jeff inhabits the same land right now.

Now, I’m not going to judge this move one way or the other. The Cardinals got a deal in that they needed a backup at shortstop and the Red Sox are picking up most of Lugo’s salary. And even though there’s no denying that he was a liability in the field and an ever increasing liability at the plate as well, everyone says that Duncan was loved in the clubhouse. So, maybe it is a fair trade. However, the upside on the “pissing Jeff off quotient” is out of this world so I am fully in favor and hope that John Mozeliak will stay the Cardinals GM forever.

So, happy Thursday to everyone out there and let me remind you one more time, just in case you forgot, that Jesus Hates the Cubs.

-A

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