Results tagged ‘ Jedi mind trick ’

How to Handle a Hurtling Bat

When an object is hurtling towards you at breakneck speed, you get out of the way.  Or at least that’s what common sense would prescribe.  Like when a broken bat comes flying at your head, you duck behind your video camera and let that expensive hunk of equipment take the blow:

gardner_bat_tbs_camera.jpgBut common sense is not something that comes naturally to all politicians.  They’re brave, they stand their ground but that doesn’t count for much when that broken bat conks them right in the noggin.  For instance, when someone is talking about the First Amendment and you don’t actually know what is in it, you might want to avoid making that obvious:

Some politicians get it, though.  They not only get out of the way, they use their Jedi mind tricks and send it right back where it came from.  Like in New York:

I really have nothing to add except happy Saturday!

-A

Padres’ Secret Unveiled

ryan webb jedi.jpgAll season long I’ve been asking myself: how does a team that cannot score runs continue to win as much as the Padres in 2010?

I thought the answer was excellent pitching.

WRONG.

If Ryan Webb is hangin’ with Yoda, then it’s a good bet that Mat Latos is hangin’ with Obi-wan… and Heath Bell is chillin’ with… Vader.

Hate me ‘cuz I can spin the double-bladed saber, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I”m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Image courtesy of the AP)

Michael Young’s Jedi Mind Trick Still Needs Work

Micahel Young.jpgThe Michael Young saga in Texas has officially come to an end with Young agreeing to move to third base in order to make room at shortstop for the rookie Elvis Andrus.  Despite his initial fussy defiance towards Rangers GM Jon Daniels’ dictatorial decision, Young now appears content to accept his fate as his inability to master the Jedi mind trick is exposed once again.

Remember?  Back in 2003, Young told management he would not move from second base to shortstop to make room for Alfonso Soriano; but the force was weak with him and he eventually did what he was told.

I highly doubt we’ll see an end to his failure at misdirecting the thoughts of those in power.  It just seems to be his m.o.  To prove this, the video technicians at RSBS located early footage of Michael Young as a little leaguer, which documents his sloppy approach to controlling the minds of others:

Pay no attention to the anachronisms in this video.  They’re there to trick you. 

And don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

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