Results tagged ‘ Joe Biden ’

Bring It, Krause!

jim thome.jpgAsk anyone in my Southside Chicago neighborhood who they’re voting for this November and you might hear about a lot of Jim Thome/John Danks ticket write-ins.  For now.  While we all know how easily the magnanimous momentum of baseball can change, what we know for sure, at this exact moment in time, is that the Chicago White Sox are indeed the AL Central Champions.

So, EAT IT, Mr. Krause!

While you’re doing that… our dear RSBS readers would like to know the answers to the following:

What hurts more, Al?  The Sox winning the Central or your Tigers being puke-spitting awful and finishing in dead last?

What makes you cry more, Al?  The fact that I was right at the beginning of the season or the fact that I was right at the end of the season?

What keeps you up at night, Al?  Not being able to win an argument or not putting in the time to win an argument?

Wrap your head around those inquiries, Mr. Krause.  I understand that you may need a minute or a day, year, decade.  That’s fine.  By the time you’ve formulated your meticulous thoughts, I bet Sarah Palin will be writhing in her own talking points as she prepares to take on Senator Biden on Thursday night.

But hopefully, we’ll hear what you have to say by the time the Cubs drop their first game to the Dodgers.

It’s all in the timing, my man. 

So go ahead.  You’ve done it before.  Sure, go ahead and hate me, Al, but don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

I’ll Take “Dumb Things Gary Sheffield Says” for $200, Alex

gary sheffield.jpgApparently Joe Biden and Cindy McCain aren’t the only people making absolutely asinine remarks these days.  The always colorful, oft offensive and seldom productive Gary Sheffield decided it had been long enough since his last foray into slanderous tongue slippage, so he enlightened us all over again when he offered his thoughts regarding the penalties he faces after last Friday’s brawl with the Cleveland Indians:

“You don’t take cheap shots, and that’s what happened. When I find out who it was, they are going to have to deal with me…”

And…

“I don’t care about what the league thinks or what they do.  I’ve got enough money to pay any fine they’ve got. Trust me.”

Nice work, Gary.  Real nice.  I don’t care about what the league thinks or what they do.  What a fine example of sportsmanship you offer the world with that universally positive statement.  Great job, Gary.  You’ve got enough money to pay any fine they got.  Yes.  I trust that indeed you do.  I also trust that you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank with that .223 batting average in tow.

Yes, that batting average sure is impressive, Gary.  In fact, it’s so impressive that I’m sure you’ll be getting tons of offers all over the league for extensive playing contracts for the rest of your life!  Gee, just think about all the money you’ll have then!  You might be the richest person in the whole wide world which would mean you don’t have to pay attention to any of the rules of baseball or life or anything because you’ll be the most important person who ever lived and the entire planet will revolve around you!  Yippee!

Here’s a hint from someone who still considers you a human being slightly worth a smidgen of thought: don’t invest with AIG or Lehman Brothers or whoever else.  Actually, you’ll probably be better off stashing it under your bed — you know, that great big bed that’s so expensive and so huge that you probably don’t even sleep on it because it’s made out of gold and kitty whiskers and other things that are soft, shiny and/or very expensive. 

No one knows how to alienate the little guy (‘little guy’ = we regular US American joes) like the paragon of verbal ineptitude otherwise known as Mr. Gary Sheffield.

Go ahead.  Hate him.  He deserves it.

You can hate me too, but don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

Biden Time

joe biden.jpgIt’s official.  Joe Biden will be Barack Obama’s running mate for the 2008 presidential election.  I’m okay with it.  Really.  I am.

I only hope that this duo will be reminiscent of the one-two punch of Schilling and Johnson who took it all the way in 2001.

I only hope that this duo will look more like Gehrig and Ruth on the field rather than Gehrig and Ruth off the field. 

I only hope that this duo has enough to beat the critics and become the mighty force that Big Papi and Manny Ramirez became in Boston.

manny and david ortiz.jpgWill Biden being Biden become the hottest new catchphrase of 2008?  While my hopes against that happening remain high, I would be a liar if I didn’t admit my anxiety that Biden may demand a trade at the very last minute.

Hold on to your seats, folks, dear readers, my fellow US Americans

We’re just gettin’ started.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

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