Results tagged ‘ John Garland ’

You’re Out!

edwards_obama.jpgNorth Carolina Senator John Edwards has come out and pledged his full support to Barack Obama and his bid to become the next president of US Americans.  This poignantly placed political pairing has finally come to fruition — just like I and 300 million other US Americans knew it would, which reminds me:

mazeroski.jpgI would like to officially pledge my support to the 1960 Pittsburgh Pirates by backing them in their World Series bid against the New York Yankees.  I have a strong feeling (call it a hunch) that the likes of Bill Mazeroski, Don Hoak, Vinegar Bend Mizell, Harvey Haddix, Smokey Burgess, Roberto Clemente and Bob Friend have what it takes to trump a trio of Mantle, Maris and Berra any day — especially in a Game 7 — and I do predict that the Pirates (with my full-fledged, undying, unyielding support) will win this series in seven games.  No more.  No less.  I truly believe that by coming out and supporting the 1960 Pirates at this time, they will overcome what has become known to the overlooked, blue-collar, everyday-white-working-class man as the “same-old-baseball”. 

It all stops here.

clockwork.jpgAnd along with that, may I just propose that we stop the INSANITY here at Red State Blue State by 1) putting Mr. Krause in restraints 2) methodically replacing the skull that used to be connected to the rest of his body 3) forcing his eyes open a la the Clockwork Orange method 4)  putting a 4×6 glossy matte finish photo of the ever-sexy Erin Andrews in front of his face for hours and 5) make him try and say she’s not hot.  I dare ya.

If you’re a straight man and you have a pulse, there’s no way you think Erin Andrews isn’t eye candy.  She’s gorgeous.  She’s smart.  She’s savvy.  She’s curved in all the right places and she does not have a flat tush.  Allen Krause’s outrageously offensive post is done only to get a rise out of his readers.  Instead of offering in-depth analysis and proper postulations on the state of the game, he aims for the low-brow shock-jock style of riffing on things he knows are absolutely unfounded.  Mr. Krause is the MLblogging equivalent of Don Imus and though his grossly distasteful statements draw him a lot of attention, it is exactly the kind of attention one needn’t have in his life, if he even values his life.

john_garland.jpgThe only other explanation for his thwarted statement of blasphemy is something that… no.  Let me stop myself.  I won’t go out there on that limb and make such a bold accusation because I do not favor the Limbaugh-style of political dirt-digging, mudslinging and bell-ringing.  But I will say, Mr. Krause has been talking an awful lot about how John Garland may well be the most attractive man in all of baseball.   I will not comment on it any further…

But for those of you who aren’t convinced at how perfect Erin is… take a gander at this and please don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right…

Peace,

Jeffy

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