Results tagged ‘ Josh Hamilton ’

Freedom of Christianity

When Josh Hamilton says, “It’s a god thing,” he’s applauded for standing up for his faith.  When Tim Tebow kneels down and prays, 43% of people who know of Tebow think that god helps him win.  And when Muhammad Ali cited his faith as the impetus for his conscientious objection to the draft, America celebrates his principled stand.  Oh, wait.  I guess that’s not exactly what happened.

You can argue that Ali is different because of patriotism or the like but it’s hard to say that patriotism alone accounts for what happened to Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf while playing for the Denver Nuggets.  The truth of the matter is, despite our vaunted “Freedom of Religion,” the expression of that freedom really only seems to apply to Protestant Christians and the occasional Catholic.  And let’s face it, if you ask the question “What if Tim Tebow were Muslim?” you already know the answer.  God help him if he were an out-and-proud atheist.

-A

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 29: Remembering Ugueth’s Urbina and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

Jeff tries his darnedest to be as polite as possible during his unfettered gloating of World Championship status (Go Cards!) while Second City’s Mark Piebenga adds some level-headed awesomeness to Johanna’s outlandishness and Allen’s seasoned straight man routine.  Among the topics of discussion are “the greatest game ever”, the woes of rebranding an already twice championed franchise (talkin’ to you, Marlins), Theo Fever in the Chi, b!tch t!ts and much, much more!

Now grab some Crown Royal and enjoy yo’ self!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

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*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter and make sure to check out his crew and their gut busting Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 12, 2011

Things I’m Doing While Waiting for Game Three

1.  Remembering that no one gave us a chance in 2006 either

2.  Sending a boatload of chicken, beer and video games to the Rangers’ clubhouse

3.  Whisky

4.  Encouraging Wash to use Ogando against Craig, again and forever

5.  Trying to find a reason to hate the Rangers (it’s hard!)

6.  Beer

7.  Watching — over and over and over again — Waino’s snappy curve to strikeout Inge in ’06

8.  Driving by Wrigley Field, reminding myself that LIFE COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE

9.  Organizing a harem of hotties to stand outside of Josh Hamilton’s house with an 8-ball and body shots

10.  Whisky and beer

Happy Saturday, Y’all!

Jeff

Three Up, Three Down

Jesus saved Josh Hamilton.jpgJESUSY JOSHY!

First he tried to score from third when no one was lookin’… then he slid head first and broke his arm… then he was… out.  THEN he blamed third base coach Dave Anderson for the boneheadedly aggressive move (not my fault, duh)… and THEN he later apologized to Dave Anderson for blaming him for the boneheadedly aggressive move. 

*SARCASM ALERT, SARCASM ALERT*

Considering the overwhelming, undeniable, empirical evidence in this case… I am glad to report that Jesus of Nazareth was soley responsible for Joshy’s change of heart, just as he was responsible for Joshy gettin’ some buttery nipple action at da club a while back.

HOLLA!

BERKMAN FOR MVP!

Berkman smiling.jpgThe 2011 season is well under way and… SURPRISE!!!… that’s Lance Berkman posing at the Cardinals best player!

Hey folks, he may be weird lookin’ in a Redbird uni, but he’s the only one in the lineup who’s been solid from the get-go.  Go ahead, Albert… just go ahead and think about finding a deal somewhere else… we got number 12!

THE GO-GO-HOME WHITE SOX!

Ozzie Guillen sure is giving Timothy Geithner a run for his money (wink, wink) in the sour face department.  Heck, I’d be angry too if my son’s name was Oney (good grief is that really his name???)… I’d also be angry if my team scored runs like crazy, only to see them erased in the latter innings of an otherwise locked-down ballgame when the bullpen wheels start fallin’ off (see Chris Sale, Matt Thornton, etc.).

Can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but, I sorta miss big boy Bobby Jenks.  At least with Jenks you’d at least see some emotion when he blew the game. 

Hangin’ the head and walkin’ off is a bit too pedestrian for my liking.

disaster zone.jpg
Happy Friday!

Jeff

The Filibuster

Do you think Miguel Cabrera needs a handler for the season like Josh Hamilton does?

Shane
Novi, MI

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tiger_handler.jpgA handler?  That’s an interesting question.  After all, he is a Tiger and no one would think of letting a tiger just roam free.  Except in India where tigers live.  But that’s different.  But seriously, after Hamilton’s experience falling back off the wagon, I think many teams realized that a contract and shame alone aren’t always enough to keep players in line.

For me, the question comes down to an economic consideration.  The Tigers are already into Cabrera for quite a few million and if they want to get the full return on their investment, what do they need to do?  When you pose the question this way, it seems like a no-brainer.  Of course you get him a handler.

I guess for me this is a pretty simple answer.  Alcoholism is a disease and sometimes despite the best intentions of those afflicted, they just don’t have enough to fight it off.  The real question is, who pays? 

Here, my feeling is that the the team and Cabrera should split the costs.  The Tigers knew when they signed Cabrera that he had a history of problem drinking.  Similarly, Cabrera knows that he needs to avoid the alcohol in order to perform at the expected level.  If the Tigers want the full return on their investment and to avoid a repeat of Cabrera’s 2009 meltdown that cost the team a trip to the playoffs, they should pony up.  If Cabrera wants to actually win a championship with the Tigers and avoid spending some serious time in prison as well as possibly getting himself deported, he needs to pony up.

In a way, this debate is actually a good sign.  Baseball was more than happy to let players do whatever they wanted up until a few years ago.  You weren’t supposed to cheat but pretty much everything else was fair game.  But imagine if a program like this had been put in place 25 years ago and covered things like problem gambling.  Maybe then we wouldn’t have this inane controversy about whether or not Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame.  If putting a handler on Cabrera keeps him from experiencing a similar fate, I’m all for it.  I’ll even do my part by ponying up and buying the leash.

-A

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**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Want a
free pimp for your blog?  How ’bout just donating some words to the
charity of being a baseball fanatic?  Send us your Filibuster questions
by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 12: Lifestyles of the Rich and Heinous… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 11.jpg


Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff, Allen and Johanna vehemently compare and critique Croc-based lifestyles, which (surprisingly) include but are not limited to the many labels of Josh Hamilton (including those who are scantily clad), Derek Jeter’s inner Pete Rose, Jeff’s go-to-Gehrig impression, Ozzie Guillen’s mess-mouth and much, much more… all so you can at least laugh while you waste some valuable time!!! Go ahead, laugh it up, fuzzball!

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is involved in some impressive projects himself.  Check out his work at  Undercard Films.  Seriously.  Do it.  Or I’ll have Prince Fielder sit on your face.

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Recorded Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Greatest Series No One Will See

tim_lincecum_video_game_graphic-93379.JPG

Tim Lincecum.  Cliff Lee.  Buster Posey.  Josh Hamilton (with special guest, Jesus of Nazareth).

This… spells… EPIC.

Unfortunately, only the folks in San Francisco, Dallas/Ft. Worth and the diehards (like myself) will be paying attention.

Such is a World Series without marquee cities and pinstripes galore (see 2006 for more info).

But I have an idea… a way to rope in the casual fan from Syracuse to Sandusky to Sacramento and beyond. 

In between innings, give a hot chick a gun and let ‘er rip:

‘Cuz, THAT, dear readers, is ‘Merica!!!

Yes.  Yes, you can thank me later.

Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

RSBS Undercover: Jeff as a Yankees Fan, Day 5

jeff as yankees fan.jpg

Oh, man, these last few days living the life of a bonafide Yankee fan have been some sort of trip!  Jeesh, the amount of work that goes into it… it’s just… staggering.

But overall, the sense of entitlement, inflated ego and blabbering-slandering mouth I’ve picked up have helped me transition.

Just to prove my ability, if you haven’t noticed, the Yankees still have 27 trophies.  Still have iconic pinstripes.  Still tout the achievements of the Babe.

Also,
we won Game 1 of the ALCS.  Ha!  Jesus may be on Josh Hamilton’s side,
but underneath that purple robe and thistle crown, Jesus flashes
pinstripes.  Believe that!

Of course, not everything about being a
Yankee fan is easy… which is why I want to share with you my biggest
test yet: enduring Suzyn Waldman.

Jeff as a Yankees Fan, DAY 5:

7:30 a.m.
My
Yankee posse overloads me with a heavy ear workout, forcing me to
listen to the worst broadcasters ever known: Chip Caray, Hawk Harrelson,
Joe Buck.  My coaches insist this is necessary.  I have to build up my
tolerance.  Because I won’t have the option of turning off the radio,
even though I will most certainly want to.

9:50 a.m.
My
ears, sore as can be, can’t take another minute of awful announcing…
so I am forced to endure a thousand papercuts on each lobe instead.

1:00 p.m.
It’s
lunch time.  I’m starving.  And instead of a good healthy meal full of
the necessary proteins and vitamins I will need before game time, I am
presented a platter of fatty, fried foods.  “What’s this?” I ask. 
“Standard pre-Yankee game meal, Jeff” says the chef. “We gotta get you
full of s*** so you fit in tonight.”

4:15 p.m.
I take a nap.  I have a dream.  I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former Yankees and
the sons of former Red Sox will be able to sit down together at a
table of brotherhood and —– what the — damn, that was a stupid dream.

8:05 p.m.
Game time. I f****** HATE the Rangers.  Go Yankees!

8:06 p.m.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Suzyn Waldman’s voice… it’s… at
game time it’s even worse than… no… three more hours of… I gotta
listen to this crap for three more –

jeffs ears bleeding.jpg

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


suzyn waldman.jpg

9:45 p.m.
Are we winning?  Are we losing?  I can’t stop my ears from bleeding.  Damn you, Suzyn Waldman. Damn you!!!

11:15 p.m.
It’s all over now.  It’s been over.  We won.  But wow… it was not
easy.  I never thought I’d say this, because I find him to be a perfect
example of everything that’s wrong with modern day broadcasting, but
thank the baseball gods for John Sterling…

Now, does anyone know a good ears, nose and throat guy?

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To be continued…

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 5: Bonilla’s Bonus Button… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 3.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff, Al & that rock-n-rollin-Cub-lovin’ sage Johanna Mahmud take on all things ‘Merica, including (but not limited to) Rinku and Dinesh, Carlos Zambrano, The Hills (seriously? that happened?), the All-Star Game, the Lou
Piniella Mailbag and much,
much more… all to make you laughy-laughy!

Holla!

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Subscribe
to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe

via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special

thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  His Undercast
podcast is a must-listen (listen to it!).  It’s available on iTunes and
is posted regularly at Undercard

Films.

Recorded Monday, July 5, 2010

The Filibuster

I’m a huge baseball fan and I love your blog but sometimes I worry about
all the blasphemy.  Any chance you guys could tone that down a little? 
More baseball, less blasphemy.

Jonathan
Wheaton, IL
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pissed-jesus.jpgBlasphemy?

What blasphemy?

We don’t know no stinking blasphemy!

The following are all FACTS that our loyal interns have researched thoroughly.  If you do not regard them as FACTS then that is your problem and not ours because they’ve been teaching this stuff for a couple thousand years and I don’t know about you, but anything that has been taught for a couple thousand years MUST be FACT…

Jesus Only Likes Certain Baseball Players
You will know which players he likes by the individual player’s performance.  Jesus will help guys get homeruns but for those whom he detests (Mark Reynolds comes to mind) he will cause problems by making him strikeout with runners in scoring position.  If this is too confusing, then think of it this way: Jesus loves Josh Hamilton, hates Aramis Ramirez.  Loves Albert Pujols, hates Raul Ibanez.  Loves Stephen Strasburg, hates Kenshin Kawakami.

jesus and the 2004 red sox.jpgJesus May Be Johnny Damon
The bloodwork still needs to be finalized — the midichlorians counted over again — but we’re pretty sure that Johnny Damon still holds the key as the physically reformed Jesus on earth.  He helped the Red Sox win the 2004 World Series; if that isn’t proof that Jesus is really the son of god and stuff then I don’t know what else to say to convince you.  If you don’t believe, then you probably don’t believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny either… both unforgivable offenses.

The Face on this Baseball Belongs to Jesus
Don’t believe me?  Well, then prove that it’s NOT Jesus’ face!  Yeah, hahahaha, sucker!!! I knew you couldn’t do it.  Now what?  That’s Jesus’ face, dude.  For serious…

jesus face baseball.jpgJesus Loves to Surprise His Devotees
One day after softball practice, I walk to my car, open up the backseat and BAM!  Jesus bats!

jesus bats.jpgNow if Jesus wasn’t real, if god didn’t want to show me miracles in my life, then how in the hell would these Jesus bats end up in my car all of the sudden?  Huh?!?  Well???  Exactly.  Jesus put them there… ‘cuz Jesus loves me… and

Jesus Hates the Cubs

Some things just never get old…

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see
Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not
together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster
question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at
kraulung@gmail.com. 

*Suggestions on how to draw the prophet Muhammad without getting murdered also welcome.

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