Results tagged ‘ Kevin Brown ’

How to Fix the Dodgers

All-around baseball good guy Joe Torre is stepping down from his MLB front office position to pursue his interest in purchasing the Los Angeles Dodgers.  While this is bad news (I think) for those of us who hoped he might take over for King Bud once the reign of terror is over at the end of the year, I have to think that a group headed by Torre is probably a great way to save this storied franchise.

Of course, there are alternatives.  And yep, you guessed it.  The RSBS interns are ready to report:

1.  Go back in time, don’t trade Kevin Brown and instead have him break Frank McCourt’s hand so it won’t wander onto a woman who isn’t his wife.

2.  Stop making it mandatory that Alyssa Milano wear clothes to the ballpark.  (Holy Jackie Robinson, I’ve been in love with Alyssa for 20 years now; she just gets better looking!!!)

3.  Trade Al-Farouq Aminu, Eric Gordon and Chris Kaman for superstar Chris Paul.  Oh.  Wait.

4.  Get a mascot!  I know just the one!

Or… if none of the above works…

How about signing Prince Fielder?  Seriously.  Make him some crazy offer like $30 million a year for 6 years or something.  Wouldn’t that make the Dodgers a nice, EXPENSIVE and attractive purchase?  And besides, it’s L.A.  Just use somebody else’s money.

Hate me.  FINE.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Valentine Masked by the Mayor

Stop it.  Stop looking at me like that.  If you want a Bobby Valentine/Red Sox dramaschlobfest post then go check out the worldwide leader in sports smut.

This is Red State Blue State.

And today we’re talking about THE MAYOR.

That’s right.  While Larry Lucchino was busy going behind Red Sox GM Ben Cherington’s back to hire a sexy manager (note: it only took them TWO FRIGGIN MONTHS TO DO THE DAMN THANG), the Cincinnati Reds announced that Sean Casey — The Mayor — would be enshrined in the Reds Hall of Fame.

Hot diggity dang!

Nevermind that Casey got in the Reds Hall of Fame by way of a fan vote.  Dude hit .305 lifetime for Cincinnati, not to mention the millions of smiles he instigated, just for being a big goofy loon armed with a sweet, sweeping lefty swing.  The Mayor is one of baseball’s good guys — the kind you wish you could trade for the likes of Milton Bradley, Kevin Brown and John Rocker — and it’s about time the good guy got some love, even if it is in Cincinnati, where sports have gone to die (just kidding, Andy Dalton).

If you watch the MLB Network, you know The Mayor’s comedic timing and all-around fun fella persona aren’t just the stuff of clubhouse lore.  He really is an unfettered goofball.  And his laugh is contagious, especially after 6 beers.

And if this Mayor induction leaves you feeling nothing else, at the very least you should feel good that the guy who brought you the only 5-7-3 ground-out in baseball history (vid here, tentatively, until the MLBAM nazis take it down) will be memorialized along with this guy:

Hate me, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Wishful Thinking?


benjamin franklin.jpg“If a man could have half of his wishes, he would double his troubles.”

                         — Benjamin Franklin (1705 – 1790)

 

So?  Maybe those troubles would actually be worth it, Benji.  Ever think of that?  Probably not.

Because you’re dead.

But if you were alive I don’t think you’d see the harm in my team having a good run like the Yankees did in ’96, ’98, ’99 and 2000 if it meant I’d have to endure a decade of them being awful.  I do remember the ’90s I’ll have you know.

So let’s just entertain this idea for a second and ask the baseball gods to grant me these three wishes:

 

May the Cardinals Reach the Post-Season

Doesn’t seem like this is still out of reach but I feel like I better wish for it anyway.  The rest of the schedule appears to support the possiblity: three games with the Cubs — who have proven thus far in September that they are still the Cubs – and then the Pirates, Reds, three more with the Cubs, then the Diamondbacks and Reds to finish out the season.  Excluding the NL Central leaders, it doesn’t seem like that tough of a task. 

Then again, “the Cardinals shouldn’t have made it this far” say the baseball pundits. 

 

May the Palin Hype Be Exposed for What It Actually Is: HYPE

Yeah, I know it’s asking a lot to have the baseball gods interfere in politics, but this is important… very important.  Sure, she’s attractive.  She’s sassy.  She’s got that sparkly star-quality that has been absent from the GOP since the Reagan years.  But does she really warrant this?

sarah palin doll.jpgI think as the double standard dissolves, the hair comes down and we US Americans get a handle on what she really stands for (teaching creationism in schools, taking away a woman’s right to choose, making sure firearms are still readily available) people will get a clue and start digging on those issues.  Having Palin one literal heartbeat away from the highest office in the world is pretty scary s*** if you ask me.

 

May Successful Baseball Players Learn Not to Injure Themselves In Frustration and Damage Their Teams’ Chances at Making a Playoff Run

Carlos Quentin slamming his wrist against his bat because he was upset that he struck out was not cool.  Carlos Quentin slamming his wrist against his bat (because he was upset that he struck out) and subsequently ending his season was definitely not cool.  Didn’t anyone learn anything from Kevin Brown?  If your name is Donnie Dolittle and you ride the bench, fine, go ahead and take yourself out of the lineup indefinitely.  But if you’re the catalyst for everything that has been good for the surprise Southsiders this season, then you certainly need to grow up and NOT hurt yourself.

Thankfully, the Sox aren’t out of the playoff hunt because of this, but they are a million times better with Quentin in the lineup. 

Yes.

These are the only things I ask for, folks.  That’s it.  Nothing else… 

But before I go, I’d like to introduce Gov. Palin to Bill Maher:

 

You can hate him.  You can hate me.  But don’t hate us ‘cuz we’re right.

Peace,

Jeffy

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