Results tagged ‘ New Jersey ’

A Convenient Inconvenience

Did you know that “the Situation” from Jersey Shore might make more than $5 million this year?  Have you heard that Snookie from the same show had a NY Times best-selling book?  And just in case it wasn’t already clear that the NY/NJ area is going to hell, did you read about the NYC based political strategist who recently managed to place herself at the center of a “too fat to fly” controversy?

I understand what’s going on with the Jersey Shore kids.  We have a fascination with things that disgust us and they definitely fall into that category.  More than that, self-promotion is a time-honored American trait so why not take advantage of your 15 minutes of fame before it ends.  Sadly, the fat lady falls into both of these categories, too.

I know, I’m as shocked as you that an overweight weight-loss blogger would somehow manage to find herself smack dab in the middle of a weight-based controversy.  It’s almost unthinkable.  Granted, it is America and I give her props on the self-promotion.  But as someone who flies somewhat frequently and who has sat next to people who clearly needed to purchase two seats, I don’t feel the least bit sorry for her.

You can make the argument that as long as the person fits between the two armrests they should be able to fly.  However, when you suck in, you can usually fit yourself anywhere for a limited amount of time.  I can think of a few times I’ve been seated next to someone who “fit” between the armrests but as the flight continued and their paunch began to drift, the armrest magically began levitating.  We paid the same price for the ticket.  You should not be taking up half of my seat.

Here’s my take on it, Ms. weight-loss blogger.  I’m happy you’re losing weight and I hope you continue.  I’m sorry if Southwest announced a little too loudly that you needed to buy an additional ticket to make up for your girth (although not really).  I also don’t mind that you’re attempting to make a little moolah off the whole deal.  But I also really hope I never have to sit next to you on a plane, at least not until you’ve got that heft down under 2 C’s.  The Jersey Shore kids may be annoying but at least they don’t spill into my seat.

-A

The New Jersey of the Southern Hemisphere

bat_chavez.jpgWith the new decade almost a week old, I figured it was about time for us to check in with our old pal, Hugo, in the baseball crazy nation of Venezuela. Now, in the ongoing drama playing out down south, we have most recently seen El Jefe making nice with close American ally, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and threatening his next door neighbor, Colombia.

However, with the long Christmas break just finishing up and the people full of holiday cheer, this would be the time to announce some good news and keep the warm fuzzies going, right?

Right?

Wrong. Instead the government decided it needed to ration electricity and one of the best places to start was with shopping malls. Now, much like New Jersey, shopping malls in Venezuela are the epicenter of the social scene. So, forcing the malls to close at nine o’clock is akin to telling New Jersey-ites that they can still go out to bars, they just can’t do any more Jager-bombs. Exactly, full scale revolt would ensue.

Luckily, the government has now eased the restrictions slightly but is that any way to start a new decade? And when you also stop and realize that Venezuela is a major oil-producer, you really wonder what’s going on. How is it possible that with all that oil they can’t find a way to keep the electricity flowing?

For the time being, things are fine. And I feel no need to get personally involved. But the second that Chavez tries to pull Miguel Cabrera and Magglio Ordonez back from the Tigers, well, then the blue state half of this duo might be forced to go reckon with that affront personally.

-A

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