Results tagged ‘ New York ’

The Filibuster

What fool GM do you think is going to overpay for Josh Hamilton?

Jonestein
Fort Worth, TX
______________

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex. It takes a touch of genius, and a lot of courage, to move in the opposite direction.”

Albert Einstein said that.  Jon Daniels DID that.

He and the Rangers made their qualifying offer to Sir Parties-a-Lot and now they can sit back and let madness ensue knowing they’ll at least get a nice draft pick if and when some insane club with house money decides to give Josh Hamilton what he wants.  (From what I have been reading on Twitter and some other baseball-centric forums, dude is asking for 7 years, $175 million.)

Right?  WTF Josh Hamilton?  SEVEN YEARS?  ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS?!?

If this doesn’t prove Nietzsche’s god is dead lesson, I don’t know what does.  Look, I’m impressed with the healthy Josh Hamilton just as much as any one else, but the problems with handing Hamilton a multi-year $100 million+ contract are as well known and documented as Hamilton is out of touch with reality.

1)  Dude is a china doll.  Can’t stay healthy.

2)  Dude is (and always will be) an addict.

3)  Dude is also a well documented RELAPSE just waiting to happen.

One minute Josh is manning left field, hitting bombs, the next minute he’s doing t***y shots off your college aged daughter, making it rain with whipped cream and pay-puh.  Don’t believe me?  Do some Google image searching.

Too risky.  Way.  Too.  Risky.  I wouldn’t give him anything over three years.  Period.  I’d pay him what he’s worth — close to the $20 million a year threshold if healthy (and sober).  But no way I’d trust him for anything more than three years.  His record speaks for itself.

And while I’m all for giving folks second, third, fourth chances, I’m also smart enough to know when to say when.  Hamilton (and his enablers) seem to have a problem with that.

The good news, for sanity’s sake, is that most of the big pocketed clubs don’t have any room for Hamilton.  I hear the Braves are interested but don’t want to be too left handed.  And the breakout Orioles are in the mix too.  But don’t expect L.A. or New York or Boston to go there.  I’m not sure the night life in those cities could handle a potential Hamilton disaster either, and that’s really saying something.

So go ahead.  Hate me ‘cuz I’m hatin’ on Hamilton’s free agency, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Exiting with a Whimper or a Roar

I have to admit something.  I watched more coverage of Hurricane Sandy hitting the East Coast than I did of the World Series.  Part of this was superstition as it seemed that every time I turned on the Tigers, they proceeded to screw up.  But part of it was also the sense of inevitable dread that emanated from the World Series starting during the third inning of the first game.

But it wasn’t just the putridness of the World Series.  It was also the simple fact that it’s not every day that you get to watch a hurricane.  More than that, how often do you get to see Anderson Cooper look like a bedraggled Chihuahua wearing a Karl Lagerfeld wig?

Maybe it would have been different if the Tigers had been at least somewhat competitive.  Although it also begs the question, what would MLB have done if the Series would have overlapped with Sandy?  Obviously the two cities competing weren’t directly affected by the storm but with the country’s largest media market, NYC, shut down by the storm, would it have even been worthwhile to play the games and lose the advertising dollars?

Ultimately it doesn’t really make a difference because the Series ended quickly and in a whimper.  Sandy ended pretty quickly, too, but at least she let out a roar before fading away.

-A

Don’t Make the Last Out

Gary Carter has left us, but the footprint he left on our national pastime remains as big and strong as he was during his 19-year career.

When I was 7 years old I watched Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.  That one game had a huge impact on me, my imagination and why I eventually became the baseball-lovin-monster I am today.

It was the first time I’d ever witnessed “a miracle”, the first time I really understood you need 27 outs to win a baseball game and the first time I realized that there is no substitute for hard work.

Years later, as a teenager, I recall hearing Gary Carter tell his version of what took place in Flushing that night, that during his at-bat that started the astonishing go-ahead rally his only thought to himself was “Don’t make the last out.”

That resonated with me.

Don’t make the last out.

Don’t ever give up.

Don’t give any effort but your best.

Rest in peace, Number 8.

Jeff

G’head, Jeremy, Yer Doin’ It Right!

Move over, Keith, there’s a new number 17 in town and he’s got everyone going so LINsane that those all-night disco-caine parties from ’86 look like an afternoon tea.  That’s right, folks.  Just when you thought you might finally be over that Tim Tebow hangover, in walks the first EVER American born Chinese to play in the NBA.  And boy can he play!

(If you don’t know who Jeremy Lin is by now, then it’s time to OPEN YOUR EYES)

Don’t worry, I’m not gonna go into some long philosophical diatribe on how Lin’s soft swishing three serves as the perfect metaphor for a hard-working, faith-based US American populous because, as you might already know, THAT’S CRAZY TALK.

What I am going to do is urge you to jump on board the LINvincible Train so you’re not all alone out there on Planet Boring.  Besides overusing the same lame LIN puns, the LINvincible Train also features dramatic spin-moves and celebrity bandwagoneers… like the Colorado Rockies’ Jeremy Guthrie!

It’s amazing what getting out of Baltimore can do for a pitcher’s offseason creativity.

G’head, Jeremy!  Yer doin’ it right!

Hate me ‘cuz you can, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Before There Was RSBS, There Was Free Pudding

That’s right.  In a galaxy far, far away… before the interns, before the Digests, before I was “always right”, there was…

FREE PUDDING.

The above picture is one of the remaining relics from that year 2000 sketch production extraordinaire staged at Kalamazoo College that brought its fans FUN, LAUGHS and FREE PUDDING.  (Not kidding, we actually served free pudding to all patrons.)

Of course, dear readers galore know what eventually became of my persnickety and oft lugubrious colleague, Mr. Krause and I.  Y’know, how we blew up the internets with our unique take on the baseball-politico world and all.  But what of that crouching fella in the middle there?

That’s Jordan Klepper.

And here is Mr. Klepper, recently, with the lovely Laura Grey.

STILL KICKIN’ COMEDY TAIL!

Mr. Klepper grew up a huge Ryne Sandberg fan, and while living in The Chi, he wore his Cubs hat proudly.  But then he moved to New York, and after a couple of Mets games we took in last summer, I couldn’t help but notice him salivating all over  R.A. Dickey.

Happy Saturday!

PS. The dude with the do-rag is Nick. I have no idea where or what he is doing in the world today but I’m sure he’s rockin’ it ‘cuz he was super cool back in school.

PPS. Yes.  Mr. Krause is doing “the double handed shocker”.

A Corrective Footnote to an Otherwise Good Deed

While New York state takes the social lead in legalizing gay marriage, I think it’s appropriate to also give props to the professional athletes who have joined the proactive “It Gets Better” video campaign.  Grant Hill, Kevin Youkilis, Matt Cain, Barry Zito and many more, have joined the cause to remind LGBT teens that they have a right to live happy lives, just like the rest of the world, and that the bullying stewing from ignorance and intolerance will eventually get better.

Chicago Cubs rookie second baseman, Darwin Barney, has also joined the cause.  Chicago Tribune writer Paul Sullivan, wrote a nice piece about Barney’s involvement and, again, I highly commend Darwin for doing so.  However, he did say something that must be corrected, something that is, at this point laughable for anyone to actually believe.  He said:

“It hit home for me because … I have a few family members who are gay. There’s nothing weird about it. It’s a decision that you should be able to make and not be discriminated against.”

Darwin Barney, being gay is not a choice.  There is no decision to make, just like I did not have a decision in what color my skin would be, or how tall I would eventually become.

One is either gay, straight or all of the above.  There is no choice involved.

And this is something that needs to be understood completely if things are truly going to get better.

Hate me ‘cuz it’s still allowed, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

DSK and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

With the Mets no longer tenaciously controlling last place in the NL Central, New York really needed something else to talk about.  Stage right, enter Dominique Strauss-Kahn.  DSK, as he’s more commonly known, is a big name in foreign policy and international banking circles but wasn’t exactly a household name outside of France.  Luckily for NYC (and unluckily for DSK), that all changed a few Saturdays ago.

Now, in retrospect, DSK’s path to the Riker’s perp walk seems like the culmination of a really bad day.  You’re in your expensive hotel room, about to fly business class overnight to have a chat with Angela Merkel.  Then bam, you’re doing an early morning shuffle in front of the NYC press corps.  Which isn’t to say that DSK is the first person to have a really bad day.  Look at this guy.  First, the homerun goes right over his head.  Then, a beer comes showering down all over it:

The main difference is that the unlucky recipient of the beer shower didn’t sexually assault a maid in his expensive hotel room (I assume).  And to be fair, that is a pretty big difference.

There’s a lesson in this for all of us.  Sure, you may be at the top of your game.  Yes, you might be the assumed front-runner for the Presidency of La France.  And it’s even possible that people will make excuses for you like, you’re being framed or engaging in a tragically nihilistic form of self-sacrifice.  However, when it’s all said and done, there’s really only one thing to keep in mind.  The lady who comes and offers you turn-down service is only there to handle the bed sheets.

-A

A Convenient Inconvenience

Did you know that “the Situation” from Jersey Shore might make more than $5 million this year?  Have you heard that Snookie from the same show had a NY Times best-selling book?  And just in case it wasn’t already clear that the NY/NJ area is going to hell, did you read about the NYC based political strategist who recently managed to place herself at the center of a “too fat to fly” controversy?

I understand what’s going on with the Jersey Shore kids.  We have a fascination with things that disgust us and they definitely fall into that category.  More than that, self-promotion is a time-honored American trait so why not take advantage of your 15 minutes of fame before it ends.  Sadly, the fat lady falls into both of these categories, too.

I know, I’m as shocked as you that an overweight weight-loss blogger would somehow manage to find herself smack dab in the middle of a weight-based controversy.  It’s almost unthinkable.  Granted, it is America and I give her props on the self-promotion.  But as someone who flies somewhat frequently and who has sat next to people who clearly needed to purchase two seats, I don’t feel the least bit sorry for her.

You can make the argument that as long as the person fits between the two armrests they should be able to fly.  However, when you suck in, you can usually fit yourself anywhere for a limited amount of time.  I can think of a few times I’ve been seated next to someone who “fit” between the armrests but as the flight continued and their paunch began to drift, the armrest magically began levitating.  We paid the same price for the ticket.  You should not be taking up half of my seat.

Here’s my take on it, Ms. weight-loss blogger.  I’m happy you’re losing weight and I hope you continue.  I’m sorry if Southwest announced a little too loudly that you needed to buy an additional ticket to make up for your girth (although not really).  I also don’t mind that you’re attempting to make a little moolah off the whole deal.  But I also really hope I never have to sit next to you on a plane, at least not until you’ve got that heft down under 2 C’s.  The Jersey Shore kids may be annoying but at least they don’t spill into my seat.

-A

Mission Accomplished!

Phillies fan osama bin laden dead
Yes, dear readers!  Now the shortlist of unchecked tasks to bring peace and universal happiness to the entire world is down to just three:

1.  Reinstate the All-Star Game as an exhibition game with no World Series home field implications

2.  Get Charlie Sheen to go away

And…

3.  Figure out what the hell Brian Wilson’s beard is actually made of.

If we can do all of the above, then I would really be impressed.

And the world will thank us.

Hate me ‘cuz you can, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Killin’ It In 140 Characters or Less

oliver perez mets tweet.jpg
And thus continues the neverending sobfest that is the post-2008 season New York Metropolitans.

They just… haven’t been the same. 

And now with the Madoff fallout hindering the club financially, I expect we will be hearing a lot of vitriolic critiques, like the one above on Ollie.  Oh Ollie…

I don’t feel sorry for him.

Still, rather than sling crud at those who cannot defend themselves, we at RSBS prefer to just hit below the belt every once in a while.  As long as we draw a laugh out of ya, all is fair.

Hate me, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

*Oh yeah, if you’re not already, follow us on Twitter yo!

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