Results tagged ‘ Player's Union ’

A Serious Call for the One-Year Contract

Here’s an idea that will never become reality, but just for fun, let’s think about it.

Albert Pujols, while somewhat showing glimpses of his old self, is on pace to hit 15 homers and drive in 70-some RBIs — a whole lot less than the Halos thought they’d get from a a man making $24 million  a year… FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS.

And how about the $20 million a year the Red Sox are paying Carl Crawford… FOR THE NEXT SIX YEARS.  Good thing Theo got out of town!

Of course, Theo already knows, you don’t have to go outside of Chicago to find a big, fat pile of head-scratching contracts.  Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Zambrano (yep, sCrUBBIES are still payin’ the bulk of that awful) are the most high profile, but until this year, the Dunn, Peavy and Rios contracts made Kenny Williams one of the south side’s most hated.

If only front offices could act like the rest of the planet when it comes to doling out large sums on a contract basis, perhaps they could save themselves years of embarrassment and avoid the ear-piercing “we’re in rebuilding mode” verbiage.

The truth is, when money is on the line, pro athletes perform better.  Consider the beyond stellar starts of Andre Ethier, Josh Hamilton, Mike Napoli, Kyle Lohse, Jake Peavy, Zack Greinke and many, many more.  The one thing these fellas all have in common is… THEY’RE IN CONTRACT YEARS!

If your paycheck is on the line, you try harder.  This is FACT.  But if you have the means to fall back on (Albert, Carl, et al.) and you have no pressure to git ‘er done ‘cuz you already got BAZILLIONS in the bank, what incentive is their to be the superstar you’ve always been?  I don’t care how bad@ss you are, the trend in performance speaks loudly: once a player reaches his monetary apex, he regresses.

There’s nothing wrong with paying a dude $25 million a year if he puts up $25 million a year numbers.  So why not reward those who do and save money (and face) by doing it on a year-to-year basis?

In the real world, if you underperform, you’re gone.  Period.

In the baseball world, the $100 million contract rarely works for both sides, yet teams keep handing them out; and then they wonder why there is backlash from the fans, media and baseball-politico bloggers who think very highly of themselves.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 30: Pat Matheny’s Anesthesioxity and Other Stuff (LIKE HIGHLIGHTS!)

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The RSBS crew celebrates its 30th episode by taking a stroll down podcast memory lane, remembering things that busted our (and hopefully your) guts.  AIDS salad and Ron Santo’s memory get rehashed while new memories (like gay ponies v. horsicorns, an iguana named Dudley and how you can cure your foot problems) are created!  Jump on board the RSBS crazy train!  No stops til you question how you spend your free time!

Don’t forget to getcho Crown Royal and enjoy some happy time!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter for all his movie magic updates and make sure to check out his crew and their hilariousness on the Undercast! podcast.

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Recorded Saturday, November 26, 2011

Mr. Krause’s Rejoice!

All it took was a new NFL collective bargaining agreement to make my globetrotting and oft voguish colleague, Mr. Allen Krause (9 year-old version pictured above), rejoice like he was at a Justin Bieber concert.  Now that we know there will be football, Mr. Krause can use his soon-to-be Detroit Tigers disappointment as a perfect segue into yet another Detroit Lions season of disappointment.

The world will be good.

Still, I have a hard time congratulating a group of unionized millionaires on doing what they should have done to begin with.  I know the owners were skimming and scheming, but these things need to be addressed and taken care of PRIOR to a lockout, PRIOR to pissing off a Joe Six-Pack fan base, PRIOR to holding my sports news hostage.

DIDN’T THEY LEARN ANYTHING FROM THE 1994 MLB STRIKE!?!?!

Look, I nearly died in ’94.  I was crushed like a man forced to watch his lover in bed with another man.  I went so far as to QUIT baseball for the entire 1995 season.  If it weren’t for an Albert Belle sized tub of syringes and a jheri curl renaissance, I might still be hootin’ and hollerin’ over the CICL.

But, as is usually the case, no one cares how we, the fans, feel.  As long as we keep schleppin’ out the dough, sports franchises and the athletes who make them will continue to spit on us.  Because they can.

And, I can attest, a certain Mr. Krause would be the very first in line with a pocketfull of benjamins for some Matt Stafford lugeys.

Hate me.  It’s cool.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 25: Audible Pantslessness… and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

After a rough night of Pirate inspired debauchery, Jeff and Johanna clear the cobwebs (and police reports) to make room for special guest, Paul Lebowitz.  It doesn’t take long for them to get riled up as they touch on the evil FOX chimera Joe McCarver, Clint Hurdle’s Pirates, the White Sox’s diamond impotence and much, much more!

Check out Paul’s baseball blog, The Prince of New York, and also consider checking out his books, like the 2011 Baseball Guide (I’m using it to destroy my fantasy baseball foes right now).

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Make sure you follow him on Twitter!  And if you’re into raunchy stunts and Hooter chicks, make sure to check out Keith’s Undercast at Undercard Films!

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Recorded Saturday, July 16, 2011

Striking Conversation (or the Labor Day Hangova)

Allen in hat close up.jpgLeave it to my pessimistic and oft paralyzing misanthrope of a colleague, Mr. Krause, to dampen everyone’s Labor Day spirit by mentioning those two words most feared by fans of our national pastime: Baseball Strike.

Chris Carpenter pitched a one-hit, complete game shut out against the Brewers to further solidify the Cardinals’ grips on the NL Central crown and Al wants to talk about a potential baseball strike!?!  This malicious posturing is akin to sleeping with your crazy ex-girlfriend on the eve of your wedding. 

Why screw with pain?

Yet Mr. Krause has made a lofty name for himself by dropping unfounded speculation.  So we’ll just go with it.

And by go with it I mean briefly say that given the collusion and vindictive-laden history of Major League Baseball and its owners, the Player’s Union has got to have the right to strike as a last (albeit catastrophic) resort.  While the horrors of the impetuous strike of 1994 continue to wreak havoc on the game (disillusion among fans, PED scandals, destruction of small market teams, etc), the Union would be absolutely insane to go so far again.

But still, the choice must be there for them to have any leverage.

As great as baseball is, it is not responsible for governing a people.  It is not responsible for policing our streets, putting out fires, getting people to work.  If they wanna strike, they should be able to do so… then watch as our interest in the English Premier League collectively jumps to dramatic new heights.

If it ever came to that — baseball taking itself for granted… again – then I think we all know how serious the alcoholism epidemic will become among Major Leaguers.  I know this because my Labor Day (just one day without work) looked a lot like this:

Tosh.0 Returns Oct. 8th
Alcohol Mash-Up
www.comedycentral.com
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:240420
Daniel Tosh Miss Teen South Carolina Demi Moore Picture

Now imagine 750 out-of-work Sidney Ponsons running through the streets of our nation and tell me the Players Union doesn’t know better.

Hate me ‘cuz I walk the walk, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

*Cap tip to Tosh.0 on the video.

The Filibuster

Michael Phelps and a few other American athletes have voluntarily
submitted to a higher level of drug testing in an attempt to head off
any questions about their impressive victories. If the US Olympic team
can do this, why hasn’t baseball taken similar steps to get rid of the
drug stigma surrounding the game today?

– Allen
                                                                                     

human_growth_hormone.jpgIn a way, Major League Baseball, behind the leadership of Bud Selig and an overwhelmingly grumpy push from the US Government, has taken similar steps to get rid of the drug stigma, Mr. Krause.  I’m not sure if you heard about it this past winter, but the Mitchell Report made quite a stir all over the baseball cosmos, and got a great number of ballplayers thinking “Hey, maybe I shouldn’t put this crap in my body anymore.”

While the drug screening program in baseball is still somewhat lax and random in its procedure, it is still light years better than what it was (non-existent) and does an adequate job by simply scaring people into doing the right thing.  This is progress that at one time seemed improbable.  Why?  Because the don’t-ask-don’t-tell secret of performance enhancing drugs was bringing people to the ballpark.  Whether it was the greenies of the 70s or the HGH of the 90s, fans were coming out to games in droves to witness the high octane occurrence of homeruns and 100 mph fastballs.  You’ve said it here a million times, Mr. Krause, money is what makes the world go round and if shooting up brings it in then so be it.

Unfortunately, we US Americans sometimes have a conscious; and that’s the only reason why this phase has transitioned to a foreseeable end.

Are players still using PEDs?  Probably.  Are they using them as much as they used to?  No.  Not at all.  Need proof?  How about Richie Sexson, Eric Gagne, Paul Lo Duca just for starters.  These guys are mere shadows of what they used to be while on the juice; because of that, I’m convinced that the biggest proverbial battles have already been fought and won.

Could more be done to ensure the sanctity of the game?  Probably.

Will a more stringent array of tests similar to those of Olympians Michael Phelps and Dara Torres (both voluntarily) ever be instituted in Major League Baseball?  I doubt it.

And here’s why: Player’s Union, Agents, Club Owners, the Players themselves.  Try to get anything past these guys that could theoretically threaten profits and you’ll quickly realize you’re dealing with a much higher power than voluntary amateur athletes who compete for a friggin’ medal that everyone will forget about two months from now.

The difference between asking Michael Phelps to take a rigorous amount of drug tests to prove his purity and asking Manny Ramirez to do the same can be summed up in two words: Scott Boras. 

scott_boras.jpgBoras, evil incarnate, who single-handedly changed sports forever, will hunt down your children, cut off their heads and sell them to Colombian witchdoctors if it means he’ll get 10%.  I guarantee you, if Boras represented Phelps (which would never happen whilst Phelps maintains amateur status), Andrea Kramer would be lucky if Phelps even acknowledged her existence after winning 8 gold medals.

Money.  Money money money money money.  Money.  Money money money money.  Money.  Money money MONEY!

Of course, public relations and digesting the fact that hardworking US Americans actually do want to be assured that their national pastime isn’t being abused both factor into MLB’s stricter regulations; but MLB and its myriad components, from the owners to the players to Joe Blow who spent $48.50 of his paycheck to sit in the upper deck, will continue to do whatever they have to to straddle the precarious line between profit and purity. 

It hasn’t been perfected in politics (see Bill Clinton, the Kennedy’s, John Edwards) yet, so it’s no surprise that baseball hasn’t a clue either. 

I’m just glad that I can go to sleep at night knowing that I am PED free.  A bulging forehead, weak libido and distending testicles wouldn’t be good for my image.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

The Filibuster

“The player’s union is upset because no team is willing to give Barry Bonds a
contract. Does Barry deserve another chance and which team is in a desperate enough
position to give him that opportunity?”

– Allen

“P.S. Don’t say Detroit because we both know that ain’t gonna’ happen.”

                                                                                        

It is May and poor Barry Bonds doesn’t have a job.  Gee, I feel real sorry for the guy.  Must be hard being unemployed, trying to provide for a family while under immense scrutiny from the law for being, quite frankly, a terrible person.

Luckily for him, not all is lost in Barry’s World, because as I mentioned before, he will most likely be employed by some team sometime this year — probably closer to July or August.  Though I predicted the only team with the hutzpah to sign him was the Evil Empire, I now believe there may be others more “desperate” to do so.  More on that in a moment.

First I want to dispel any notion that the current Barry situation has any link to an MLB brass conspiracy of collusion.  I understand that the Players’ Union has no choice but to investigate the possibility of collusion, but believe me, this does not even come close to comparing with the Kik Gibson, Jack Morris, Paul Molitor cases of the ’80s where teams were absolutely in the wrong, colluding out of greed and oneupmanship to teach those players a “lesson”.  Barry Bonds comes with serious baggage and that baggage could mean less dollars for whatever team takes him on.  As is usually the case, this is about money and money only.  No team wants to risk losing revenue or being identified by the dark cloud that is number 25.  At least, not just yet.

barry_bonds.jpgBut the time will come later this summer when that risk may pay out for teams such as the Yankees, Blue Jays, A’s, Rays and yes, maybe even the Tigers.  Out of all of those teams, I find the team who could use him the most right now would be the ginormously underachieving Tigers.  Of course, by August they may already find themselves mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, so I can see how the further along we get in the season, the less likely such a signing will occur.  But after that dastardly start and their current slump where they’ve lost seven of their last ten, if the Tigers were going to do it, they better do it now.  Why Mr. Krause would say something as bold as “Don’t say Detroit because we both know that ain’t gonna happen,” is quite beyond me.  If someone would’ve said the Tigers would sign Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis in the offseason I would’ve laughed it off as being nuts.  After they did, if someone would’ve said the Tigers would be in the basement of the AL Central, I would’ve laughed it off as being completely nuts.  Bottom line: the Tigers don’t make any sense right now so why would I ever expect them to make sense at all, ever?

For other American League teams, Barry’s swaggering forehead might be something they can look past if he can still produce 20 homers, a gajillion walks and a high on-base-percentage.  All signs point to that still being a possibility, so I look for teams with playoff potential to give Jeff Borris a ring as we get closer to really seeing what teams are in the playoff picture. 

At this point, I’d say there’s really no way he’ll be in a National League uniform ever again.  The closest he got was when Tony LaRussa expressed interest towards the end of spring training in signing Bonds to help protect Pujols.  Of course, at that time, TLR didn’t know that the likes of Ankiel, Ludwick and even Glaus would perform as adequately as they have.  Despite TLR’s explanation of why a Bonds signing would be beneficial for the team and their chances in the Central, the story caused a near revolt of fans towards management and just as quickly the possibility extinguished before it ever had a chance of happening. 

It’s probably better for everyone that Bonds stay out of the NL — he’s tainted it enough and it’s time he leave it alone.  Though once a graceful athlete in the outfield, the last several years have exposed Bonds’ nonchalant patrol as embarrassing and sad.  His defense was quite the symbol of his entire attitude towards the game in general: why should I care?

Which is exactly how I feel about the Barry Bonds situation as it stands now.  I feel dirty writing this because I’m wasting precious time on the topic when I could be talking about other things like: How ’bout ‘dem Redbirds!

Barry has been a stain on the game, on his teammates and now Barry is a stain on this blog.  I blame Allen Krause.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

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