Results tagged ‘ Racism ’

We Didn’t Need Another Hero

In 1991 the Minnesota Twins won the World Series in 7 games.  In the final game of the Series, a single in the 10th was the hit that won it.  Seven months earlier, 52 hits rained down on Rodney King and led to the LA riots in 1992.

I don’t think anyone would say that Rodney King was a good guy.  The 1991 beating was the result of a DUI stop following a high-speed chase.  But I also don’t think anyone would say he deserved to get his ass handed to him by a bunch of racist LA cops.  With the videotaped beating and the subsequent trial of the officers, King became a cultural touchstone.  The LA riots only added to the legend and King’s plea, “Can we all get along?” became part of our national vernacular.

20 years later, King has left the building.  It’s odd to think about how someone who really only had a bit part to play in history ended up becoming so important to the recent history of the United States.  I’m pretty sure just about anyone alive at that time remembers the beating, the trial of the officers and the ensuing riots.  But how many people remember Jack Morris’ 10-inning shutout that clinched the Series for the Twins and clinched him the Series MVP trophy?  King may not have been a hero.  He may not have even been that good of a person.  But his story still redefined a moment in American history.

-A

Would You Do Me a Kindness?

Would you, MLB?  Would you hurry up and tell me what to think about the Ryan Braun situation so I can properly compartmentalize my NL Central adversaries?  I need to know if I should hate Ryan Braun or if I should just respectfully dislike him.  And I need to know NOW.

When this story broke in early December, I immediately paused 30 Rock on the Netflix stream so I could specifically call my friend, Mr. Mahmud, and mutually gloat in the complete downfall or our fellow divisional foe.  Ha ha ha, Prince is gone and now Braun is a fraud… fa la la la la… THE END.

Or so I thought.

I mean, this is the post-steroid era in baseball, right?  You get caught with a dirty test, your name is mud.  You’re a cheat.  An A-Fraud for life.

Unless of course, you’re a likable, attractive white man who plays in a market tailored towards good, wholesome folk.  At least, that’s how it seems.

I understand there are some strange circumstances regarding Mr. Braun’s positive performance enhancing drug test, specifically, that there aren’t any “performance enhancing drugs” present, but rather TWICE the normal testosterone levels, which would lead one to believe that such an oddity might be the result of treating a “personal medical problem” (how ’bout I just come out and say it: SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE).

My reaction to that is: okay, so what?  If dude is TWICE the man everyone else is, of course that would effect his performance, right?  And to say he didn’t know what he was being medicated with is no excuse.  This is the 21st century.  He has every doctor, nutritionist, trainer, coach, jedi master, etc. at his side to advise him on these issues.  Don’t take this, Ryan, or else it will RUIN YOUR CAREER.

Then again, maybe Braun just gets a pass because he is a cool dude.  People like him.  He plays in a small market and he’s white.  I guess that makes it all okay.

Either way, I want an answer and I want it now.

Hate me.  I don’t care.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The Filibuster

Tim Pawlenty is out of the race and Rick Perry is in.  Bachmann wins the straw poll but is still bat-sh*t insane.  If the Republican primary is a pennant race, who’s your horse?

Paul
Annandale, MI
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Oh boy.

Metaphors are my friends, metaphors are my friends, metaphors are my friends.

If the Republican primary is a pennant race, then it must be in the Arena Football League because I am finding it quite difficult taking any of them seriously.

Michele Bachmann?  Um… no.

Rick Perry?  Um… also no.

Please note my severe reluctance to support any candidate who harbors a deep relationship with imaginary friends who tend to be bipolar, judgmental, homophobe racists.

Rick Santorum?  Noooo.

Mitt Romney?  Double noooo.  Though I am still waiting for his endorsement of the Mormon Underwear website.

Newt Gingrich?  Yikes!  Now we’re really gettin’ into the thick of crazy!

Jimmy McMillan?  Okay, now we’ve reached the bottom.

Thad McCotter?  Cool name.  Boring everything else.

Sorry, Paul… ya see, unlike picking an MLB winner, crawling through this web of same-ole-same-ole GOP crazies is a bit difficult.  There is no Philadelphia Phillies lights-out candidate.  There is no Yankee flyer.  There is no Red Sox contender.

No.

But, wait… there is… hmm… there is hope.  And no, I’m not talking about the empty promise sounding “hope” dished out ad nauseum by the Obama campaign to dupe intellectual lefties like myself during the ’08 race.  No.  Staying here, within the “Republican” party, there is… there is another.

But before I can declare my allegiance, I need to think on it.  I need to think on it very, very carefully.  While I do so, remember not to hate me (because I’m right) and please enjoy this informational video thoughtfully prepared by the RSBS interns:


To be continued…

Jeff

**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Interested to know why Mr. Krause still can’t believe it’s not butter?  Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

Post-racial?

Taking advantage of race for personal gain is a time honored tradition in the United States.  Sometimes it’s nefarious like the slavery thing or the use of Asian immigrants in building the railroad.  Occasionally it’s purely political like the recent anti-immigrant law in Arizona.  Sometimes it just weird.

In the weird category, we have the Cubs’ failed Fukudome experiment which also created the Fukudome unlicensed t-shirt controversy.  If you’ve already forgotten, let me refresh your memory:

I think we can all agree that the t-shirt was tasteless but somebody made a boat-load of money off of it before it got shut down.

More recently we have Congressman Dan Adler who is running in California.  I’m not sure if his recent ad is racist, ridiculous or possibly just undefinable.  Take a look and decide for yourself:

Does it make it better that he’s a Jew married to a Korean?  I think I’m just really confused.  Does it help his campaign?  Well, it is California so your guess is as good as mine.

Ultimately the Fukudome t-shirt got yanked off the market and definitely received much more negative than positive press.  Adler seems to be faring about as well and with this ad, he may have just cemented his position as also-ran:

Hm, maybe using race for personal gain isn’t such a good plan after all.  Using Patty Duke might fall in that same category, too.

-A

Behold! The Tea Party Review!

tea.party.patriots.jpgAmidst the Pujolsian panic terrorizing the otherwise somber pre-spring training minds of baseball fanatics worldwide, we at RSBS nearly lost sight of an extremely exciting development inside the raucous Tea Party movement.  That’s right, folks!  The Tea Party is publishing their very own magazine!

And don’t worry, dear readers… as you have come to expect, we are a step ahead.  In fact, our loyal RSBS interns have already managed to infiltrate the teabagging ranks to bring us a sneak peak at some of the headlines from the inaugural issue!

Enjoy…

How to Incite Armageddon So We Can All Go Back to Sitting on Jesus’ Lap In Heaven
By Mark Williams
Monkey god, go home!  You can’t put a mosque next to or around the corner from a US American institution like McDonald’s!  That’s against God’s plan, to make everyone fat and die so they can go be with him again…

The Whosie-Whats-Its of Duping America

By Sarah Palin
Some people call it smoke and mirrors, I call it using catchphrases that hockey moms will be able to repeat after their husbands have beaten them for the night.  A bridge to nowhere… lamestream media… road to ruin… See!  If I can do it, anyone can, even Republicans…

How to Use the Term “Teabagging” to Your Advantage
By Pat McGroin, Kraven Moorehead & Howie Feltersnatche
First of all, work “teabagging” into your everyday lexicon. If we all teabag the way we should and are devout in our teabagging, the phrase will simply lose its funny connotation, especially if you’re teabagging your mother who might be teabagging your neighbor who might teabagging himself…

And finally, the feature article…

An Introduction to Hate: The N-Word, The F-Word and All Around Bigotry
By Dale Robertson
If it’s different than you, if it don’t look like you, if you don’t like it ‘cuz it ain’t you… hate it! That’s all ya gotta do. Holler at it and bark at it and scream at it and gobdabbit just hate it hate it hate it…

- – -

Not sure what the cover price is going to be, but I am sure that it won’t ever be forked over from my wallet.

Hate me ‘cuz Dale Robertson says to, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The Filibuster

As soon as I heard about the Mel Gibson stuff I automatically thought of
John Rocker.  Thoughts?

Mark
Bridgeview, IL

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oksana_grigorieva_mel_gibson.jpgI think, “How is it possible that Mel Gibson still has a career and Tom Cruise is considered the crazy one?”  I mean, I get it.  Jumping on couches on national TV, praying to aliens, dumping Nicole Kidman for Katie Holmes.  That’s all pretty crazy.  Even if I personally think Katie is a step up over Nicole.  But punching out your girlfriend’s teeth, telling her you hope she gets gang raped, dropping the n-bomb like it’s going out of style?  Dude, that is all kinds of crazy.

The comparison to Rocker makes sense to a limited extent because both men are racist pigs.  But there’s a very important difference between the two men and their body of work.  Rocker is straight up ignorant.  For better or for worse, he has no idea what he’s saying.  Think of him as a real life version of Kenny Powers.  Gibson subscribes to a more insidious style.  He slings around slurs with a practiced abandon.  I’m not saying that ignorance is an excuse but it is something I can understand.  Gibson is a vile person who actively represents the lowest common denominator.  Think of him as an Australian version of Joerg Haider.

And there’s another important distinction between the two.  Rocker launches verbal tirades but that’s where it ends.  Gibson likes to use his fists and, if the reports end up being true, also likes using them on women half his size.  Maybe it’s different down under but my parents didn’t raise me that way.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that if my mom ever heard about me hitting a woman, she’d take the next flight to whatever town I’m living in at the time and beat the living snot out of me.  You just don’t do that. 

Rocker’s racism, while still dangerous, comes across as kind of cartoonish.  But Gibson’s record of racist rants intimates a more fundamental level of psychosis that apparently manifests itself violently.  It’s viral and I find it hard to forgive and also much more scary.  I guess my point is this, Mark.  On the surface the two men seem to have
quite a bit in common.  But when you dig into it a little bit, the
comparison falls apart.  If I had to make a choice, I’d much rather be dealing with Rocker than Gibson.

-A

The Triple Dub’

It’s Friday.  I’m fried.  I’m about to fly to Michigan. 

So, today all you get is this video.  Consider it commentary on the state of race relations in America.  Consider it positive or negative.  You can definitely consider it a revolutionary workout.

Happy Friday!  Let’s all get out there and do some triple-dubbin’!

-A

White Like Me

sammy sosa is white.jpgYep.  This is pretty weird.  And I bet you are wondering what exactly is going on. 

So are we.

That’s why, once again, we pitted our trusty RSBS interns to the task of discovering why Sammy Sosa is turning white.  After toiling for about twenty minutes, here is the shortlist of what they found:

  • Ran out of shower gel, bleach does a good job, life is rough in the D.R.
  • Wants to be remembered as a member of the White Sox; this is a good way to make that happen
  • Saw the ghost of Sammy past (circa 1989)
  • Planning a trip to the Northside of Chicago and doesn’t want to be recognized. Why? Urine Trough Diving. That’s why.
  • Combine Oxandrolone with Dignotamoxi add a little Methyltestosterone and BAM! You’re WHITE!
  • Sun bathing below the equator has a reverse tan affect, much like eating after midnight turns you into a Gremlin
  • The white skin came free with the Humphrey Bogart toupee package
  • Tired of living in the shadow of Mark McGwire, hopes being brighter will help him stand out while still stuck in the shadow of Mark McGwire
  • Took a look at the man in the mirror and decided to make that change
  • Sick of seeing Karl Rove have all the fun

Skin rejuvenation?  More like how could you make your image more of an abomination!

Hm.  Sounds better when I read that last sentence out loud.

Nevermind.

Just don’t hate me.  ‘Cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Image courtesy of Getty Images)

What in the Milton Bradley is Wrong with Milton Bradley?

milton_bradley_angry.jpgIn a word? 

Everything.

And so it goes that the world’s de facto millionaire man-child, Milton Bradley, sees his season end prematurely — stopped cold by the Chicago Cubs’ general manager Jim Hendry.  Or so we are led to think…

After the tumultuous inaugural season Bradley had with the eternally ill-fated Cubbies, isn’t it possible that Milton simply quit on his own and Hendry & Co. were left to cover up what would otherwise be the Major League scandal of the year?  At this point, I am willing to believe anything; which is why we put our loyal interns to the test — to uncover the hidden meaning in Hendry’s public statement, to discover what’s really going on, to report the Truth.

Dear readers, here are the results — the top ten reasons why Milton Bradley’s season came to an abrupt and early end:

10.  Wanted to give lifetime minor leaguer Bobby Scales a shot at breaking the .250 mark

9.  There is only room for ONE colossal fail per team and Alfonso Soriano has a pretty good beat on it

8.  Admitted to being an avid reader of the Chicago Sun-Times

7.  Suffering from an acute torn mental labrum

6.  Decided to dedicate more time to establishing universal health care

5.  With the NFL season under way, wanted to pass the “Chicago Public Relations Disaster” moniker on to a more accomplished, more deserving, more disappointing (and prettier?) candidate in Jay Cutler

4.  Made secret promise to self that if he succeeded in beating Jacque Jones as the most hated right fielder in the history of the Chicago Cubs he would pack up and go home, satisfied, with $10 million more in his wallet

3.  Worried his name might leak as Candidate Number 3 in Rod Blagojevich’s pay-to-play federal investigation

2.  Adamant about having the Ricketts Family rename his team: The Chicago Uncle Toms

And the number one reason why Milton Bradley’s season came to an abrupt and early end:

1.  He’s just… a whiny… little… bee-otch

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The Filibuster

holy+cow.jpgA few weeks ago Milton Bradley very publicly decried the racist
comments hurled at him from the bleachers at Wrigley.  But since he
wouldn’t give specifics the press has been having a field day, claiming
he’s making it all up.  It blows my mind how blind they are.  I’m no
fan of Milton’s, but you can’t walk through Wrigleyville without seeing
someone in a “Pujols Mows My Lawn” shirt, or those famous “Horry Kow!”
Fukudome shirts.  I think in this case he’s absolutely right, and the
press would rather continue to crap all over the guy than grudgingly
admit that he has a point.

Ted
Chicago, IL

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As much as soccer is the world’s game, baseball is still America’s game. And as games and culture tend to do, it reflects much about a nation’s character. If you watch soccer you know that the Germans play a very methodical game much like the methodical German people. Same goes for the “beautiful game” played by the Brazilians.

But what does this recent statement from Milton Bradley say about the state of our nation? Well, if you paid attention at all during the Presidential race last year, you know that Ted and Milton definitely have a point.

The state of race relations in this country has not come all that far since the times of the king of the racists, Ty Cobb, or Jackie Robinson’s first foray across the color lines. We may pretty it up these days with Rainbow coalitions and politically correct buzz-words but the fact of the matter is, there has never been an actual, frank discussion about race in this country despite what we’d like to lead ourselves to believe. As much as it pains me to say it, Cubs’ fans are not the problem. They’re nothing more than a symptom of the problem.

It’s not exactly the same thing but this reminds me of being in Wrigleyville a couple years ago late at night. I was walking with a few guys and there had definitely been some drinking going on. As we walked to find a cab, some thin young guy came hurrying down the street toward us and one of the guys in the group jumped at him and then started harassing him, calling him “f@g” this and “f@g” that. This poor guy was scared sh!tless and the rest of us were too stunned to even say anything. Finally someone pulled the guy from our group away and he looked around at us like it was the funniest thing ever. As the guy who had been getting harassed walked away as quickly as possible, the rest of us just stared at this d0uchebag standing there obliviously with a huge grin on his face, all of us still shocked at what had happened.

And again, it’s symptomatic. Racism and homophobia come from the same place and the fact that neither one has ever been dealt with directly in this country means that it will continue to go on. Whether or not someone said what Milton says he heard is not the point. The fact that we really shouldn’t be surprised that it happened is.

-A

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