Results tagged ‘ Red Sox ’

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 28: A Pirate’s Private Prison and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

For the first time EVER in RSBS Podcast history, Jeff, Allen and Johanna all meet IN THE SAME ROOM!  That’s right, no phone lines, no Skype, just a microphone and three unfettered opinions overlapping and slip-slapping without pause.  Among the topics of discussion are the Tigers, the Cardinals (it’s PLAYOFFS, duh!), an Ozzie Guillen-less Chicago, “blowing” it down the stretch, why you should see Catching Hell and much, much more!

Now getchyer beer and getcho happy on!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Follow Keith on on Twitter and, if you like spontaneous awesomeness, check out his crew and their gut busting Undercast!

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Recorded Saturday, October 1, 2011

Four of the Greatest Stories Ever Told

As one who is acutely aware of the aggravating effects of speaking in unchecked and unvetted absolutes, I must choose my words wisely, especially after witnessing baseball miracle after miracle after miracle.  But, judging from the number of cardiac arrests I had in the comforts of my own home last evening, I can honestly say — WITH COMPLETE AND UNSHAKEABLE FAITH — that September 28, 2011 will go down as the greatest single day of regular season baseball games I have ever watched.

EVER.

Words… ah, these words… not even they can do my feelings justice:

J. Meric/Getty Images

Getty Images

Bob Levey/Getty Images

Baseball.  It just doesn’t get any better than baseball, my friends.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The Filibuster

Okay, so you guys rooting for the Red Sox or the Rays?

Brooke
Fort Wayne, IN
___________________________________

Sometimes I wonder if people even read this blog.  I know that Jeff and I take a look from time and there are occasional comments but do people really read it?  In general, I believe there’s a through-line to what we write and a lot of that relates to being fans of Midwestern teams, teams that are, by definition, underdogs.  Sure, the Tigers and Cardinals may have a great tradition but they are not from either of the two coasts and that leads to certain amount of neglect.

We’ve had to root for our teams when they were at their worst.  I’ve been a Tigers’ fan since I can remember knowing about baseball and that meant I saw successful seasons followed by seasons of utter and total failure.  That didn’t change anything, though.  I was still fan.  Whether it’s a 119 loss campaign or the heartbreak of losing in the World Series or a playoff, Tigers fans remain a grounded lot.  Part of that is related to Detroit itself and part of it is the realization that baseball has its ups and downs and you have to roll with both extremes.

I used to think that Boston fans felt the same way.  They suffered through the years without a championship despite coming agonizingly close on multiple occasions.  And when they finally broke through against the Yankees and went on to trounce the Cardinals, I think quite a few people were happy for them.  Even I have to admit that it felt good to see them beat the Yankees and end such a long drought.

But then something happened.  The Red Sox and their fans went from being a Mitch Albom wet dream to Yankees-lite.  By the time they won again in 2007, both the team and the fans had gone from long-suffering to insufferable.  There’s nothing wrong with confidence but what Boston had evolved from confidence into arrogance.  All the talk of Theo Epstein, Big Papi and Manny being Manny began to inspire a gag reflex.

Manny is no longer in Boston or baseball.  Pedro Martinez has disappeared, too.  Sure, there are still gutsy, admirable players like Pedroia and Ellsbury.  But I no longer have any warm feelings toward the Red Sox.  As far as I’m concerned, they’re just the Yankees with a Boston accent.  That’s why I’m cheering for the Rays.

-A

**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Interested in Mr. Lung’s twist on the “O” face, the “U” face?  Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

Setting the Mahmud

RSBS Special Correspondent and Podcast Outlaw, Mr. Johanna Mahmud reports:

“All I can tell you is, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.”

To commemorate my hopeful demise of the mighty money juggernaut that is the Boston Red Sox, I have decided to use one of the greatest films ever conceived to explain my feelings for this occasion.

ARTHUR!!!

I’m also here to remind the world of the hurt and pain that Russell Brand caused me by pissing on my childhood by remaking this classic. BASTARDDOOOO.

“Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.”

The Red Sox are falling apart. The Tampa Bay Rays are in pursuit of the wild card and I couldn’t be happier. At the beginning of the season, I, like the rest of the baseball universe, had the Sox winning it all. That being said, I love this Rays team. I’ve loved the last three or four Rays teams. LOVE Joe Maddon.  He almost makes me like Florida. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate tha SAWKSSS. I’m just a bit tired of everything Boston. NO MORE BOSTON!! No more Red Sox! The Town, Conviction, Gone Baby Gone, the Patriots, The Departed, Ben Affleck doing Madden ads. I NEED A FAWWWWWWWWKIINNNNN BREAK!!!

“If you and your undershirt will walk two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling.”

Oh yea. Forgot about Edge of Darkness, The Fighter, and Danny fawwwwwwkkkinnnn Woodhead!!!! I feel like I have had a Fenway Frank shoved up my giggy for the last ten years.

“I race cars, play tennis, and fondle women, BUT! I have weekends off, and I am my own boss.”

Theo Epstein’s bright idea was to punch in Erik Betard. BRILLIANT? No. Can Jon Lester be everywhere at once? Josh Beckett is hurty. The BLOWN RANGER!  John Lackey is awful.  This staff is not quite in dire straits but…

“Ladies and gentlemen… I’m sorry… As you probably have surmised by now… there will be no wedding. The bride… has had second thoughts… and has decided not to marry me… Most of you know me… Can you blame her?”

Carl Crawford has been my personal joy killer. One of my favorite players of the last seven years, he hasn’t quite been worth the money. Hitting third in this lineup has been a problem. He’s a leadoff hitter!

“Isn’t this fun? Isn’t fun the best thing to have? Don’t you wish you were me? I know I do.”

The rise of Jacoby Ellsbury has been nothing short of TRANSCENDENT — an absolute bright spot. And I couldn’t be happier for the kid who has struggled through injuries. He or Curtis Granderson would be fine choices for MVP. (I’m sorry, Verlander.)

And now, one last fleeting thought for my beloved Cubs. Both Sox teams have won championships and so have the current champ Giants. My thoughts on this?

Gloria: My mother died when I was six.
Arthur: [bangs his fist on the table] Son of a bitch! Don’t they know what they do to kids?
Gloria: My father raped me when I was twelve.
Arthur: So, you had six relatively good years? I’m sorry. Listen, my father screwed me, too.

–Johanna Mahmud
Follow Johanna on Twitter!

The Filibuster

College football and the NFL have both come back with a vengeance but for MLB, there really aren’t any compelling races at this point.  How can baseball compete?

Ryan
Otsego, MI
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Pardon my frankness here, Ryan, but…

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT?

No compelling races?  How can baseball compete?

Put down that tequilla shooter (slowly) and check the boxscores before you miss out!

Because the time is NOW for September baseball and there is PLENTY to be excited about.  Right now the AL East is as tight a race as they come, and believe me: the Yankees and Red Sox both want to win that division as each would rather draw the weaker opponent in the ALDS.  Meanwhile, the AL Central is anything but locked down.  Sure it might not be neck and neck, but if the Tigers have taught us anything in the last few years, it’s that they definitely know how to blow a sure thing.  And if you think the Rangers aren’t worried about the creeping Angels of Los Anaheim, ya might wanna put down the vodka too (keep the whisky, for now).

In the National League, sure the East, Central and Wild Card races seem to be locked down, but the NL West is still undecided.  The Diamondbacks are coming on strong but if the Giants can just average one run a game, with THAT pitching staff, they have a pretty good shot.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love football just as much as any other loud proud US American, but early season games being more important than the stretch baseball run?  Not in my world.  Not even close!

If you’re not feelin’ it, I gotta think that maybe it’s your fault.  Sit down and watch one of these games that matters.  Or, don’t.  I mean, STRASMAS is comin’ this year, so you could watch that!  Or check out a Bluejays game to watch the Joey Bats and Brett Lawrie Show!  Or get your buddies together for an Orioles game and every time they make an error, miss the cut-off man or fail to advance a runner TAKE A DRINK!  You’ll be so loaded by the third inning that your decision making skills will deteriorate to a level that will GUARANTEE a night of awesome once you hit the club.

Hate me ‘cuz I promote promiscuous behavior while championing the greatest game on earth, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Curious as to why they call Mr. Krause “The Bumpiest 30 Seconds You’ll Ever Find”?  Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

The Filibuster

Tim Pawlenty is out of the race and Rick Perry is in.  Bachmann wins the straw poll but is still bat-sh*t insane.  If the Republican primary is a pennant race, who’s your horse?

Paul
Annandale, MI
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Oh boy.

Metaphors are my friends, metaphors are my friends, metaphors are my friends.

If the Republican primary is a pennant race, then it must be in the Arena Football League because I am finding it quite difficult taking any of them seriously.

Michele Bachmann?  Um… no.

Rick Perry?  Um… also no.

Please note my severe reluctance to support any candidate who harbors a deep relationship with imaginary friends who tend to be bipolar, judgmental, homophobe racists.

Rick Santorum?  Noooo.

Mitt Romney?  Double noooo.  Though I am still waiting for his endorsement of the Mormon Underwear website.

Newt Gingrich?  Yikes!  Now we’re really gettin’ into the thick of crazy!

Jimmy McMillan?  Okay, now we’ve reached the bottom.

Thad McCotter?  Cool name.  Boring everything else.

Sorry, Paul… ya see, unlike picking an MLB winner, crawling through this web of same-ole-same-ole GOP crazies is a bit difficult.  There is no Philadelphia Phillies lights-out candidate.  There is no Yankee flyer.  There is no Red Sox contender.

No.

But, wait… there is… hmm… there is hope.  And no, I’m not talking about the empty promise sounding “hope” dished out ad nauseum by the Obama campaign to dupe intellectual lefties like myself during the ’08 race.  No.  Staying here, within the “Republican” party, there is… there is another.

But before I can declare my allegiance, I need to think on it.  I need to think on it very, very carefully.  While I do so, remember not to hate me (because I’m right) and please enjoy this informational video thoughtfully prepared by the RSBS interns:


To be continued…

Jeff

**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Interested to know why Mr. Krause still can’t believe it’s not butter?  Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

Picturing the Evil Empire

We won the Cold War.  There’s no debating that.  The Soviet Union split up, Germany was reunified and communism went the way of the Whigs and the Bull Moose.  But sometimes it feels like we still lost.  Like when you hear about Vladimir Putin’s new personal photographer:

Sure, Vlad isn’t a Soviet per se but it’s pretty safe to say that he has a lot more in common with Stalin than he does with FDR.  Although maybe not quite so much.  The point is, the Russians may have lost the war but they seem to be winning the battle.

It’s a little like the Red Sox and the Yankees.  Sure, the Red Sox may have finally gotten by the Yankees to win that elusive World Series.  They may have even succeeded in doing it again right afterwards.  But they’re never going to catch the Yankees.  The Yankees are the Evil Empire just like Vlad and his boys are the heirs to the Soviet version.

So, what can we do?  How can we fight back against a Russia that just keeps coming back like some totalitarian Freddy Krueger?  Well, I think the first step is obvious.  Obama needs to get a better looking photographer:

The rest will work itself out from there.

-A

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 26: Willow, R2D2 and Other Famous Midgets

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And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

“KEITH, GET A BUCKET!”

After Jeff and Allen dragged Johanna’s almost lifeless body out of the Lollapalooza bullpen, the RSBS crew sat down to smack down on all-things baseball.  Joined midway by special guest, Tim Baffoe of The Heckler and AM 670 The Score, everybody gets in on the roller coaster that is Chicago baseball, Tony LaRussa versus the World, Derek Jeter’s legacy and a hypothetical question involving the conflicting theologies of Ian Kinsler and Josh Hamilton.

This is some shizz ya ain’t gonna wanna miss!

And make sure to follow Tim Baffoe (aka the Ten Foot Midget) on Twitter.  Dude’s got a lock on sports satire!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Make sure you follow him on Twitter and check out his sweet Undercast.  And, also, if you haven’t already, check out the teaser to his film-in-progress and don’t be afraid to help a brotha out!

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Recorded Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Filibuster

A bunch of teams are clustered right around .500 and above and no division is even close to being set at this point.  Does this mean baseball is starting to reach parity?

Sean
Caledonia, MI 
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Beware, my friend.  I sense… something.  This… parity you speak of…

IT’S A TRAP!

It’s not real.

Just make-believe.

The truth is, the same old teams are still atop the same old divisions.  The Yankees.  The Red Sox.  The Phillies.  Okay, so the Mets and Dodgers may be out, but it’s not their faults!  They can blame poor ownership and mishandled funds!!!

I know that a quick glance at the standings may confuse the casual onlooker, that one could be easily misguided by the way the teams stack up.  But let’s face it: the NL and AL Centrals have been crapshoots for a decade, the NL West has been a contest in mediocrity for a long time.  The Angels’ dominance of the AL West was only usurped last year and in 2011 they have put themselves back in contention.

This is not parity.  This is, like our US American social ladder, a classic case of 99% of the wealth being in the hands of 1% of the population and everyone else is left to fend for himself.  The effect resembles something like parity.  But it ain’t.

It’s pitching.

I really believe that the Mitchell Report and its subsequent juicy fallout has forced teams to go back to what always works: good pitching.  With good pitching, you might have a decent shot at accumulating wins.  The Giants are a perfect example of a team that gets by on minimal offense and middle-of-the-pack payroll.  It’s not the stuff of dynasties… but when it works, it works, and that’s what teams are doing.

The Pirates are winning because of pitching (they can’t hit).  The Braves are winning because of pitching (they have a hard time scoring too).  The Diamondbacks could always hit, but this year they have… PITCHING.

Great pitching is the best defense against great hitting.  I didn’t write that.  Baseball wrote that.

When the Orioles and Blue Jays can compete in their own division… when the Nationals have a shot at the big boys in the NL East… that’s when I’ll consider parity’s existence.

But right now that seems like something that could only be found in a galaxy far, far away.

Hate me.  Fine.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

**Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster?  Want a free pimp for your blog?  Curious to know just how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Mr. Krause?  Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

RSBS Presents: Fandom Condensed

Jeff tells me that the fans in Milwaukee treat you like a person, no matter which team you’re there to support.  Let’s be honest, though.  Milwaukee is the exception, not the rule.  Most of the time if you find yourself in the confines of a rival team’s arena, you should prepare for the worst.  I saw the Tigers play in the Bronx once and I quickly realized that the “D” on my cap instantly marked me as a target.

However, it gets much worse.  And it’s even worse for the teams because they end up being defined by their fans.  To help you understand this concept a little better, the interns came up with a few examples of what we present to you as “Fandom Condensed.”

Red Sox

Not exactly known for their classiness under the best of circumstances, these fans show us that it doesn’t take much to make “Boston” rhyme with “Jersey Shore.”



White Sox

If beating up umpires and base coaches is your style, you’re probably a White Sox fan.  I’m not saying we haven’t all felt this way at some point but there’s a world of difference between wanting to punch an ump and actually doing it.  Luckily, they’ve found a way to move quickly between those two worlds on the south side of Chicago.

Phillies

However, if there’s one team whose fans have earned the right to the title of baseball’s most dangerous fans, it has to be the Phillies.  Brawls, swearing, dumping beers on people.  It seemed like the Philly fans had taken things as far as humanly possible.  Then they started throwing up on opposing fans.  Honestly, I don’t even want to think about how you top that one.

I could go on but I think you get the point.  Feel free to chime in with a comment if there’s a glaring omission.

-A

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