Results tagged ‘ Rockies ’

RSBS Featured at Rocky Mountain Way (Part I)

4795SEPIA.jpgTom Walsh, the heralded Colorado Rockies anti-apologist and globetrotting baseball blogger, has taken time out of his rigorous national tour to feature Red State Blue State’s very own Jeffery Lung in the latest edition of “Timeout at the Plate”.

**The RSBS interns would like to personally thank Tom for forcing Mr. Lung out of the office long enough that they could poke holes in his condoms and skunk his beer with complete success.

To read the full interview, click *HERE*.

And stay tuned for Part II tomorrow, which will feature the paltry persona of RSBS‘ fatalistic half: Mr. Allen Krause.

(photo by Constance K.)

The Belle of the Ball

I think I’ve been going about this all wrong. Perhaps experience really isn’t all that important. Look at the Rays, for instance. They go 0-7 at Fenway for the first part of the season and then pull out two impressive wins on the road against the Red Sox when it means the most. It’s like the ’06 Tigers against the Yankees. Or the ’07 Rockies against the entire National League.

However, that brings us to the real issue. Although the Rockies and Tigers put together great seasons and impressive runs, they both failed when it really mattered. And if there is a god, perhaps she’ll look down and have pity on us Americans. Maybe she’ll decide this is the year where experience no longer counts and the Rays will thunder through the playoffs but then spurn the misguided prayers of the GOP faithful.

The American public has already decided that experience doesn’t matter with their full fledged embrace of Sarah Palin. Yes, I know she was a mayor. And I know she is governor. But that kind of experience is akin to me saying that I can run Amnesty International because I once headed up a small nonprofit organization. Sorry folks. I’m not qualified and neither is she.

But if the Rays can do it, maybe she can, too. In fact, there’s already a precedent since the Republican Party seem to be borrowing tactics from MLB. Baseball has decided to focus on personalities, as my friend, Mr. Lung, so eloquently pointed out a few weeks ago. And the Republicans have also decided to avoid talking about the real story and try to make this election a popularity contest.

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“Look everyone! She’s a pretty girl! And everyone votes for the homecoming queen, right?”

 

 

 

So, maybe I’m still a little bitter about that 2006 World Series. And maybe I’d prefer a VP who understands that just believing something doesn’t necessarily make it true. What can I say? I’m tough to please and I make no apologies for that.

-A

 

The ’07 Rockies: Magical Secret Revealed!

holliday.home.jpgEver wonder how the 2007 Colorado Rockies were able to overcome the odds and go on that tyrannical run last September?

Ever wonder how everyone on the planet — except the umpire —  managed to see that Matt Holliday totally missed the plate on that thrilling tie-breaking play at home against the Padres?

Ever wonder how they went on to sweep the Phillies and the Diamondbacks in the NLDS and NLCS respectively?

Well, now we know.  We all know.  The secret is out.  His name is Jesus and he will now take your prayers.

Unfortunately, this information has been revealed nearly a year too late; but it has come just in time to stop the group responsible from doing it yet again.

Because if Focus On the Family Digital Media Director Stuart Shepard had it his way, the entire Democratic Convention would be under a sea of god-like proportions.  For those of you non-Christians out there, that’s fancy talk for a whole lot of friggin’ water.

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Luckily, someone over there realized that asking its followers to pray in unison for an awful thing to happen to the opposition may not be the best way to go about it — perhaps because it goes against the very fundamentals they are supposed to be preaching.  I don’t know.  I’m certainly no expert.

But I know that though the conspiracy prayer in Denver may have worked against the Padres, Phillies and Diamondbacks, there may still be a logical reason for it: God was desperate for some playoff excitement.  And He needed to erase the psychological damage those awful MLB Dane Cook television spots that were thrown in our faces ad nausem did. 

Because it’s true.  God hates Dane Cook.  God hates Brian Giles.  And God would definitely hate to send down another flood.

I’m pretty sure He hates me too, but not because I’m right… even He knows better than that.

Peace,

Jeffy

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