Results tagged ‘ Ryne Sandberg ’

Before There Was RSBS, There Was Free Pudding

That’s right.  In a galaxy far, far away… before the interns, before the Digests, before I was “always right”, there was…

FREE PUDDING.

The above picture is one of the remaining relics from that year 2000 sketch production extraordinaire staged at Kalamazoo College that brought its fans FUN, LAUGHS and FREE PUDDING.  (Not kidding, we actually served free pudding to all patrons.)

Of course, dear readers galore know what eventually became of my persnickety and oft lugubrious colleague, Mr. Krause and I.  Y’know, how we blew up the internets with our unique take on the baseball-politico world and all.  But what of that crouching fella in the middle there?

That’s Jordan Klepper.

And here is Mr. Klepper, recently, with the lovely Laura Grey.

STILL KICKIN’ COMEDY TAIL!

Mr. Klepper grew up a huge Ryne Sandberg fan, and while living in The Chi, he wore his Cubs hat proudly.  But then he moved to New York, and after a couple of Mets games we took in last summer, I couldn’t help but notice him salivating all over  R.A. Dickey.

Happy Saturday!

PS. The dude with the do-rag is Nick. I have no idea where or what he is doing in the world today but I’m sure he’s rockin’ it ‘cuz he was super cool back in school.

PPS. Yes.  Mr. Krause is doing “the double handed shocker”.

A Stake Through the Heart?

By now, my century long-depressed baseball brethren on the north side of Chicago are aware that, despite Prince Charming occupying the king’s seat at Addison and Clark, Cubbie Land might still get turned on its head.

Oh yes.

Ryne Sandberg.

If Ryne Sandberg becomes the new manager of the St. Louis Cardinals — THE WORLD CHAMPION ST. LOUIS CARDINALS — then I think I might just pee on myself.

Oh, the joy… to think, that one of the greatest Cubs in the history of the world — THE SAME CUB WHO WAS SNUBBED OVER FOR MIKE “LAME DUCK” QUADE — could sit at the St. Louis helm with those beautiful, beautiful birds on the bat, blazing across his Hall of Fame chest.

Oh sure, Francona would be great.  Oquendo too.  Hell, even Pettini is good in my book.

But Ryno… oh Ryno… *SALIVATES*

A friend of mine ran into Ryno, his wife and some friends of theirs in Times Square this summer.  He said he was so in awe of the Hall of Fame second baseman that he sort of lost track of his thoughts and the forced conversation sorta became… awkward.

I imagine it was the same sort of awkward that would come from him championing the Cardinals to a World Series title in 2012…

Hate me!  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right!

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 20: Utley’s Multiple Meniscuses… and Other Stuff

betty white and alf podcast photo.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The proverbial (and literal) gloves come off in this verbal masquerade of utter ridiculousness and yes, injuries do occur (though mostly to Johanna and, since they are mental in nature, hardly noticed).  Among the topics of conversation one will find: Jeff’s wandering Forever 21 eyes, Zack Greinke’s ribs, the difference between a half and a full nelson, Cameroonian baseball, Bud Selig-bashing take 47 and much, much more… all to make you smile, laugh and play!

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is all over the interwebz killin’ it.  You should definitely check out his crew and their subsequently hilarious podcast at Undercard Films.  And keep your eye out for what’s next.  Dude’s makin’ a movie!

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Recorded Saturday, March 12, 2011

Valentine’s Schmalentine’s

ryne sandberg dream.jpg

It’s on y’all!!!

PITCHERS.

and

CATCHERS

have reported.

Peace,

Jeff

**Special Programing Note**

The start to the new season means we at RSBS are ready to rev up the Filibuster machine once again!  Please send your Filibuster questions, hot topics and all around tomfoolery to us by emailing to kraulung@gmail.com or by commenting below.

Holla!!!

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 14: Ryne Sandberg’s Phlight… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 8.jpg

 

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

…the fullest, rawest, most awe inspiring podcast yet, RSBS convenes as Jeff, Allen, Johanna and special guest Mark Piebenga from Second City all come together for one rip-roarin’ time!  Among the topics of conversation (sponsored by Lifestyles and encouraged by Miller Lite) are strains to one’s right glute, burning one’s hand on the hot stove, hiding one’s pain with the NBA… and much, much more! 

All to make you smiley face!

Holla!

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For more on Mark’s work on RSBSNinemen’s Morris series, check out this story then click on the Ninemen’s Morris tag at the bottom for more early 20th century hilarity!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  You can check out Keith’s wicked podcast and his subsequent film projects at  Undercard Films.  The dude has mad skillz, so you might wanna pay attention.  Do it!  Now!

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Recorded Wednesday, November 17, 2010

 

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 1: Hanley’s Lollipop… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo.jpg

Click me to listen!!!

The virgin voyage, y’all!

Okay, so you knew this was gonna happen eventually… just enjoy it.  We did!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff introduces Chicago rock phenom and avid Cubs fan, Johanna Mahmud to the RSBS family.   When not front-manning the intoxicating alt-rock group, Meqqa, Johanna manages to drink Jeff’s beer and fantasize about a team made up of twenty-five Alfonso Sorianos.  Okay.  That second part may be a lie… but this part ain’t: when these two guys start talkin’ baseball, it’s all fun and games.  Among the topics of discussion: Roy Oswalt’s bulldozer, Lou Piniella’s preggers look, the Brendan Ryan pornostache hysteria, Hanley’s lollipop and much, much more.

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and all-around sound guru.  He always knows where Ryne Sandberg is.  Always.

For more on Meqqa, please visit their website *CLICK ME!*

Recorded Saturday, May 22, 2010

RSBS TV: “Jesus Hates the Cubs”

The world premier… of an RSBS original…

Produced, shot and edited by Theo Roll.

Directed by Jeffery Lung.

Starring James Tierney as Jesus.

Performed by Mauf Tauk

Mauf Tauk is Jeff and Theo.

**Pass it on, folks. Let’s get the word out.  Please send this link to everyone you know. We make this thing go viral and more RSBS baseball-related hilarity will certainly flourish.**

Want more RSBS TV?  Try Crush.  Or if you prefer talking heads, check *these* out.

*Note: Kirk Gibson won the MVP in ’88, but it doesn’t rhyme and we’re cool like dat so get over it.

Life in the Afternoon

Wrigley Field.jpgUnlike Ernest Hemingway’s poignant parlay into the world of non-fiction, mine hath not the slightest utterance of death today… unless, of course, you consider the thousands of Cub fans who felt stabbed through the heart after their sloppy loss to the St. Louis Cardinals.

For today was a celebration, not only for the Redbirds’ ultimate triumph, but also for good company.  Indeed, dear readers, I have friends who don the Cubby blue, like one soon-to-be-wed Adam Marshall — talented author of Our Man In Los Angeles — who was crazy enough to arrange for 22 Cub fans and one Cardinal fan (me!) to stake our claim amongst the bleacher bums at Wrigley Field on what may have been the most beautiful day of the year.

Ozzie Smith Ryne Sandberg.jpgMy first stop was to pay homage to the wondrous artwork to the right, found at the Addison Red Line stop, depicting heroic Hall of Fame icons Ryne Sandberg and Ozzie Smith in a too-close-to-call play at second base.  I scrounged through the melee of already drunk Cub fans and snapped this amateur photo, hoping it would bring me good luck.

It did.

Dear readers, I have been going to Major League Baseball games my entire life and I have never, ever caught one ball, be it foul, fair, or B.P.  Never. 

Once inside the cathedral dump also known as Wrigley Field, I went straight for the beer man, bought myself a cold one and swarmed through the slew of drunkards to find an open seat.  Entering to an onslaught of “F*** your mother”, “Go back to St. Louis”, and “Cardinals su<k”, I did my very best to make sure my Bud Light did not spilleth over.  While perfecting this baseball ballet, I noticed the crowd around me take to a chorus of oohs and ahhs, duck and spread.  I looked up and there it was: a ball coming straight towards me at a rifling speed.  With no time to react, I simply stuck my chest out, felt a thump, looked down, and in my left hand was a baseball!

After 30 years, folks,  I finally caught one.

A Colby Rasmus batting practice homerun at Wrigley.

And my beer did not spill one drop.

Colby Rasmus Homerun.jpgFrom there I knew it was going to be a good game.

And it was, if you consider sloppy defense good.  In fact, Cardinals left fielder Chris Duncan put on a clinic of how not to play the position.  Then again, so did Alfonso Soriano.  And in the end, Duncan’s bat powered the Redbirds to a win.

Of course, no Cub game would be complete without crying; and Milton Bradley came on late with the bases loaded, looked at six straight pitches without swinging the bat, then whined like the spoiled brat child he is before getting tossed.

Cards win.  Cubs lose.  I live.

Oh, and those crazy bleacher bums oft known to take an afternoon dip down the urinal trough?  They were out in full force.  There were a few tiffs and tussles, some skiffs and struggles.  They were loud.  They were obnoxious.  They were obscene.  Business as usual… like this clever diva who scribbled out some nonsense on a piece of cardboard and passed it off as truth:

Cards Suck Nuts.jpg(If you look closely, you’ll see it says: “Cardinals su<k nuts”)

Apparently she was too intoxicated to realize that the Cardinals won the game… or the fact that Wrigley Field’s peanuts are quite savory and that any Redbird would be a fool to not at least try them… just once.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

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