Results tagged ‘ Spring Training ’

RSBS TV: 2009 NL West Preview

Produced, shot and edited by Atonal Studios.

Special thanks to Theo Roll.

Very special thanks to Manny Ramirez for being the baseball playing equivalent of 20th Century Fox’s hit interstellar horror icon, Predator

“If it bleeds, we can kill it.”

(For best playback results, watch in High Quality)

RSBS TV: 2009 AL West Preview

Produced, shot and edited by Atonal Studios.

Special thanks to Theo Roll.

California knows how to party. Texas and Washington? Jesus and rain. How did these teams end up in the same division anyway?

(For best playback results, watch in High Quality)

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And don’t forget to check in regularly over at The Max blog to vote in their ongoing March Madness tournament pitting the top 32 MLB fan blogs against each other.

Recession, Recede!

Don’t look now, folks, but with less than a month to go, the Major League Baseball season is right around the corner, ready to pounce and ready to perhaps take your wallet:

baseball statue.jpgAnd while some speculate that the current economic crisis will severely hinder and affect baseball as well as the game’s overall attendance, I like to think that baseball will be just the thing that kicks us all in the collective ^ss and gets our minds thinking about things other than plummeting stocks and dwindling 401Ks. 

The good news is: we are already seeing signs that point to positive attendance numbers. 

The bad news is: people are really hurting.

I know it.  You know it.  We can’t turn on the evening news anymore without being fear-mongered to death by stock prices horrifically reminiscent of Jason Voorhees, Freddy Kruger and Dick Cheney.  Such scare tactics seem more responsible for soft markets and second-guessing investors than anything else.  We are being bombarded by negativity!

So I can’t help but ask: Isn’t the state of the economy more of an attitude than it is a tangible barometer for life?  Can we not convince ourselves that everything will be okay, that our bank accounts will be okay, that the Cardinals might make the post-season?

Despite King Bud’s ominous foreshadowing, the fact remains: we Joe Six-Pack US Americans (and some Canadians) need baseball.  We need to have that summer escape, experience that trite tranquility, find that bubbly beer-man.  Without it, we would be lost.  Believe me.  I remember 1994.

And it almost killed me.

Sure, we will all have to make sacrifices.  In fact, I have already begun instituting a frugal fiscal program that will eventually afford me the ability to go to the ballpark this season:

Instead of Johnnie Walker Black, I’ll drink Johnnie Walker Red.

Instead of Giordano’s, I’ll eat Little Caesars.

Instead of going to Kelly Clarkson concerts, I’ll watch American Idol Rewind.

And boom!

Simple as that, I have a few extra dollars to blow on $5 hot dogs and and $7 Old Styles.

But I will be happy… and that’s the most important thing.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

(Image courtesy of these guys)

RSBS TV: 2009 AL East Preview

Produced, shot and edited by Atonal Studios.

Special thanks to Theo Roll.

Very special thanks to Alex Rodriguez for giving MLBloggers blog fodder for life.

(For best playback results, watch in High Quality)

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**Programming Note**

Tuesday and Wednesday’s posts will both be the result of a small experiment between Mr. Lung and Mr. Krause.  The title for each post will be the exact same and was co-created by each constituent in an odd writing exercise known to literary dorks as “build-a-sentence”.  Mr. Lung wrote a word, then Mr. Krause wrote a word, Mr. Lung wrote a word, etc., until there was a complete sentence that sorta made sense. 

Stay tuned and see the true difference between these two baseball-politico minds and find out just where that co-created title will take them, whether it be down the same jaded street or off into themes yet undiscovered like Red Sox fans who never complain about anything (yeah right, like there is such a thing).

You know what we mean.

RSBS TV: 2009 AL Central Preview

Produced, shot and edited by Atonal Studios.

Special thanks to Theo Roll.

Very special thanks to Dontrelle Willis for still giving it the old college try.  At least you’ll have 2005, D-Train.  You will always have 2005.

(For best playback results, watch in High Quality)

Note to Yankee Fans: Your OWN Tradition Says You Don’t Need Names On Your Jerseys

yankee fans jerseys.jpgNot my rule. 

Yours.

And since I have heard the Yankee fan speech on why names are not pertinent to your ball club more times than Alex Rodriguez has lied to the public, I say ya’ll should stick to your own program.

Cool?

Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

(Image courtesy of the Associated Press)

Bit Tidding Tidbits

Baseball chick.jpgPut away that bottle, throw away those needles, quit workin’ that corner, folks!  Baseball is back!  Finally, we have something to live for again…

Here is but a sampling of the goings on around the league:

Alex Rodriguez Homers in Spring Training Opener
Immediately after he hit that bomb, all controversy of A-Rod’s MVP PED use and the subsequent tarnishing and questioning of his character disappeared like the hopes and dreams of Pirates fans.  Well, maybe not, but one can fantasize, right?

Ryan Dempster Has Yet to Say Something Stupid
Last year during spring training, Dempster guaranteed Cub fans a World Series title.  His foot-in-mouth silence at the start of this season practically guarantees another stellar regular season record, followed by a quick division series exit to the tune of 101 years.  Which leads me to the fact that…

Cub Fans Still Hungover from 2008, 2007, 2003, etc.
A simple stroll through Wrigleyville these days will yield much more than the average Barleycorn date-rape and trust-fund-baby all-night-party — both of which have long been synonymous with the neighborhood.  Nowadays you can still see the aftershocks of that disappointing NLDS performance against the Dodgers in the face of this guy and this guy and these guys.

Khalil Greene On Pace to Replace Ozzie Smith as Shortstop Icon
Don’t look now, but after one spring training game, off-season blockbuster acquisition Khalil Greene is on pace to hit .333 this year — which is way better than his .212 average of 2008!  While John Mozeliak sits back and strokes his pompous ego, we Joe Six-Pack fans are left daydreaming of that fifth-place NL Central finish.

Yankees Lend a Helping Hand: Willing to Pay Off the Country’s $1.75 Trillion Deficit
Okay, this is a lie; but the Yankees unwillingness to cooperate just proves how anti-American the organization really is.

Ann Coulter Is Still Crazy
An excerpt from her February 25th blog post reads:

“But as long as the nation is obsessed with historic milestones, is no
one going to remark on what a great country it is where a mentally
retarded woman can become speaker of the house?”

Ann, sweetie-pie, remember: we had a mentally retarded man with a fancy-rich last name as president for 8 years.  Let us have our speaker and please stop talking.

Indians Fans and Cub Fans Breathe Collective Sigh of Relief
Joe Borowski, possibly the all-time scariest closer for all the wrong reasons, officially announced his retirement.  There are parties in the street.  Check ‘em out.

Tigers Fans Better Off Watching Hockey
After my esteemed colleague and Tigers apologist Allen Krause wrote his annual lament on the sad state of his team, one clever commenter riffed:

“When the tigers crush your soul as they inevitably will, just remember to look on the brightside, we still have the Red Wings.”

Enough said.  Thanks, D.K.

No One Cares About Blagojevich Anymore
Or Roland Burris… or Dick Durbin strong-arming Burris to get out of town… or the poor economy… or world hunger… or the climactic dictatorship of one Hugo Chavez… dude, who cares?  There’s baseball to watch!

And at last…

The MLB Network Is Seriously Affecting My Loyalty to American Idol

I apologize to all my supporters, for it is true: in my living room, the MLB Network has temporarily taken the place of American Idol. Two weeks have gone by and I haven’t watched a single A.I. episode.  I know, I know.  This situation is difficult to accept for all.  But believe me when I say it hurts me more than it hurts you.  For some reason, Barry Larkin’s nonsensical ramblings and Al Leiter’s delusions of grandeur are just way more entertaining than Ryan Seacrest’s hair and Simon Cowell’s cliche Britishness.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

RSBS TV: “Crush” by David Archuleta

Produced, shot and edited by Atonal Studios.

Special thanks to Theo Roll.

Very special thanks to David Archuleta for being so painfully vague in his… er… eh… orientation.

This ain’t it, folks.  RSBS TV is in full throttle mode.  Keep a look out for more exciting film entertainment coming your way in the very near future.

(For best playback results, watch in High Quality)

A Friday Film Analogy

buddha_stars.jpgThat Buddha sure wasn’t kidding when he said “Life is suffering.”

He must have been a Pirates fan.

Yet spring training is supposed to be that time of year when every team has a shot at being the best, every team has the opportunity to go all the way, every team can hope to be champions — well, every team not named the Pirates, Royals and now: The St. Louis Cardinals.

That’s right, folks.  The Cardinals were big losers before they even got to camp thanks to one General Manager John Mozeliak.  It is no secret that I hold little regard for the man who did nothing to better our ball club during this off-season, so I will refrain from further condemning him back to the bookish hell from which he originally oozed. 

What I will do instead is make it easy for you, dear readers, Cardinal lovers and Cardinal haters alike: those days of St. Louis fans harboring perennial playoff hopes are long gone.  And all that remains is an empty, blown-out pipedream much akin to that of one Theo Roll, modern dancer extraordinaire.

Don’t know who Theo Roll, modern dancer extraordinaire is?

Watch and learn (at the 1:35 mark look for some fine, world class, Academy Award worthy acting):

Get my drift?

Good.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

Me at Potatoes

We apologize for the lack of contact over the past 24 hours.  Allen arrived in Chicago on Saturday and the expected glutinous orgy of carnivorous consumption ensued, followed by bouts of general tomfoolery.

Jeff followed a more sapphic program while Allen explored an equally hedonistic path.

In the end, the RSBS interns caught them both in lurid and compromising situations:

Jeff & Allen 2.2009 002.jpg
Jeff & Allen 2.2009 026.jpg
The RSBS stew continues to simmer…

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