Results tagged ‘ Tea Party ’

Apocalypse Yesterday

2012 apocalypse.jpg

Yes, dear readers, I know that we still have at least 15 more months before Mayan legend is set to destroy the universe, but I’m afraid ruination and chaos might already be here, making 2012 moot.

Don’t believe me?

Well, you know Sarah Palin is on Twitter, right?  Not only that, but she’s also doling out advice to overnight Teabagger sensation, Christine O’Donnell:

C.
O’Donnell strategy: time’s limited;use it 2 connect w/local voters whom
you’ll be serving vs appeasing nat’l media seeking ur destruction


Yes, Christine!  Seeking… your… destruction!  Bwahhhhhhhhhh!  Me want freedom to touch myself!  Me want witchcraft-free Delaware!  Me want answer to Teabagging claim of fiscal responsibility despite inability to pay back your college loans!  Bwahhhhhh!  How dare we demand such clarity!  Bwahhhhhh! 

Gotta be a sign of the apocalypse.


werth_hyena.jpg

If not that, then how about the colossal union of two universally disliked MLB wormbags?  That’s right, folks.  Jayson Werth (and his beard) have teamed up with Scott Boras to form the sort of free agent chimera that will have everyone talking more zeroes ad nauseum this winter.  Look, I get it.  Dude wants to get paid.  No problem with that.  But for someone whom the public has already deemed a megafortified jerk, it seems like hiring the sleaziest of the bunch to fetch that money might not have been the best public relations move.  Oh, and it also means he won’t be an Angel next season. 

The Angels handcuffed into quelling big time free-agent magic?  Gotta be a sign of the apocalypse.

Of course, nothing can predict the end of the world is near better than our US American justice system playing host to a caffeine insanity defense, in a murder trial!  Sorry, your honor.  Two Jolt colas and a bottle of Ride-the-Snake diet pills and I just couldn’t STOP MYSELF FROM MURDERING MY ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD!

Um… okay.

It is no secret that I am a caffeine addled man myself.  But I would never use that as an excuse to kill someone.  Insult my going-nowhere Redbirds and maybe we can talk creative defense strategies, but to blame it on caffeine?

There’s no other explanation, folks.  It’s gotta be another sign.

So go ahead and hate me ‘cuz time’s runnin’ out.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The Filibuster

Okay, which race do you think is the most exciting? The NL West or the open senatorial seat in Delaware?

Mitch
Burr Ridge, IL

_______________________________

christine odonnell.jpg

Exciting isn’t the word I’d use here, Mitch.  The fact that the NL West is still so wide open merely reflects the drama inherent in baseball.  And of course the Rockies are right in the middle of it.  Do you remember their run to the World Series back in 2007?  That one game playoff with the Padres?  The NL West is all drama and it often involves the Rockies.

The Delaware race, on the other hand, is just frightening.  How is it possible that a person like Christine O’Donnell finds herself in this position?  Here’s the thing.  When even a conservative stalwart like William Kristol thinks that you don’t belong, that doesn’t bode well for your bona fides. 

Let’s look at the facts.  Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.  She thinks masturbation is adultery.  This is bad news for the 99% of men who partake in a little self love as well as the remaining 1% who simply lie about it.  She dabbled in witchcraft.  Witchcraft! 

And as if that wasn’t enough, she only received her college degree this summer at the age of 40.  This isn’t the story of woman who went back to get her diploma, though.  No, the reason why she just got it now?  She never got around to paying off her college tuition.  This seems more than a little ironic from a Tea Party candidate who claims the mantle of “fiscal responsibility.”

The biggest difference between the NL West and Delaware, though, is that the baseball race is being fought by professionals but the political contest is straight up amateur hour.  Why else would O’Donnell agree to go on a couple Sunday morning news shows and then pull out at the last minute?  Look, I get it.  She doesn’t want to pull a Palin and accidentally mention how she never reads a newspaper or that she can see Bermuda from her doorstep.  But you’re running for the Senate!  This is not a game.  The laws passed in the Senate affect our lives for years.

So Mitch, I’ll be watching both races.  And my money is on the heart-attack kids from Colorado.  I just hope that any bets on the Delaware race are based on whether O’Donnell loses by more or less than twenty points.

-A

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Pics of Jeff’s secret make-out sessions with his Troy Tulowitzki bobble-head also welcome.

RSBS Presents: Drama!!!

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No longer exclusively tethered to the stage, the screen or the page, there is no doubt that life is full of drama — the sort that you weren’t ready for, the kind you embrace, even the type that makes you ill.

Nonuniform in appearance and uninterested in who or what it affects, drama can be as simple as that anxious feeling you get right before a big presentation or as complex as the collective mood among you and your fellow drivers during your morning commute.

Drama is everywhere.  It infects everything.  We love it.  We hate it.  We need it.

Not convinced?

Take a look for yourself…

ines sainz.jpg

Ines Sainz and Her… Assets
Were members of the New York Jets out of line in their cat-calling towards Mexican reporter, Ines Sainz?  Was Ms. Sainz perhaps inappropriately dressed for an NFL locker room?  Is there more to this story that none of us knows about?  Yes, yes, and yes?  Probably… right?  I dunno.  Who cares?  What is important is that a) we now know who Ines Sainz is and that she’s more than available via Google image search b) Jets fans have more to talk about than just how fat Rex Ryan is and c) I have another reason to post a B-side pic of someone not named Erin Andrews.  Thank you, drama!



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The AL East: Yankees – Rays Showdown
If this most recent series is any indication of what sort of playoff bliss we may be in for, well, paint me blue and call me “cubbie” ‘cuz I’m all in.  Heart attacks galore, dear readers!  From Sabathia v. Price, to Brignac bombs to Grandy’s catch to Jeter’s thespian act, this has been the most impressive, most entertaining, most dramatic regular season series between any two teams all season long!  And, as a fan, I could care less about either club!  Now that’s what I call drama!


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Teabagging with Christine O’Donnell
If Joe Biden were dead he’d be rolling over in his grave.  Heck, lots of people wish Karl Rove was dead (he’s not) and he’s already rolling over in his… er… wait.  What I mean is this: Republican/Tea Party senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell from Delaware may seem like Sarah Palin 2.0, but that’s just because she’s good-looking, halfway likable and really dumb.  Make no mistake: the Teabaggers are way more scary than their everyday conservative counterparts.  Way more scary.  For instance, O’Donnell once suggested to the MTV crowd that they refrain from masturbation.  Uh… yeah.  And judging from the fly hair and nails O’Donnell has in that circa 1996 video, I sure as hell hope she sees the irony in that.  Anti-masturbation!?!  Ha!  Such a message EXPLODES with drama!!!

Hate me ‘cuz all the Teabaggers are doin’ it, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right!

Peace,

Jeff

Party Time!

disco_demolition.jpgSometimes parties get out of hand.  Like the White Sox Disco Demolition event.  Who would have thought that destroying a bunch of old disco records would drive fans to rush the field?  Well, probably the same people who remembered that 10 cent beers lead to rioting and craziness.

But this seems to be the type of partying that Americans enjoy and it’s not confined to baseball.  For instance, how about we take a look at another contemporary party that seems to bring the crazies out from every nook and cranny.  There may not be a cohesive platform or a lick of logic involved but they sure came up with a catchy name: The Tea Party.

Despite what you may have thought after the 2006 and 2008 elections, the American electorate has not magically come to its senses.  In fact, it appears that its dabbling with facts and reason had the opposite effect as they stumble straight down the rabbit hole and into a land where up is down, right is left and having the middle name Hussein means that you are a secret Muslim preparing to turn the United States over to a bunch of terrorists.  These days, it just ain’t a party unless it’s a Tea Party. 

But how about we let the kind folks over at College Humor take a more in depth look at this soiree:

http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1938095&fullscreen=1

I guess we just have to hope that one pill makes you larger, one pill makes you smaller and one pill makes you realize that these people are insane.

As with ten-cent beer night and Disco Demolition, the scars will heal.  The Tea Baggers, uh, I mean Tea Partiers will eventually wake up with a monster hangover and swear they’ll never do it again.  Which obviously means that I’ll see you here in another few year when we do it all over again.

-A

RSBS Presents: Great Moments in Republican Hip-Hop

boombox_lincoln.jpgThe GOP forged its reputation on many great endeavors.  Lincoln freed the slaves and then battled to keep the Union together.  Reagan took the policy of containment and extended it to the point that the Soviet Union finally collapsed in on itself.

However, despite victories in these areas, the Republicans need to remember that there are other fields in which their skills just don’t quite pan out.  In honor of this fact, and perhaps in memoriam, RSBS presents great moments in Republican hip-hop.

MC Rove
If there is one moment that could be termed “the” defining moment in Republican hip-hop, it would have to be Karl Rove’s performance at the 2007 Correspondent’s Dinner in DC.  Between the dance moves and the attempt at ill (but mainly just ill-fated) rhyming, Rove set the standard by which all GOP rappers will be judged:


No Taxation Without Representation

Although the Tea Party movement claims no affiliation with the Republican party, most of its members are disaffected defectors from the GOP.  Where the Republicans dislike taxes, though, the TPers downright abhor them.  That feeling led to this memorable moment:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=10969400&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

Untitled from elizabeth glover on Vimeo.


Hi-Calibre

How about I just let, uh, Mr. Calibre (?) explain it himself:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/swf/TheDailyBeastVideoPlayer.swf

So there you have it.  The party of Lincoln becomes the party of Linkin Park.  What do you expect, though?  The Democrats already have dibs on Jay-Z and the Black-Eyed Peas so the Republicans had to make due with what was left.  Hey, at least they have Pat Boone!

-A

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