Results tagged ‘ Tim Lincecum ’

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 25: Audible Pantslessness… and Other Stuff

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

After a rough night of Pirate inspired debauchery, Jeff and Johanna clear the cobwebs (and police reports) to make room for special guest, Paul Lebowitz.  It doesn’t take long for them to get riled up as they touch on the evil FOX chimera Joe McCarver, Clint Hurdle’s Pirates, the White Sox’s diamond impotence and much, much more!

Check out Paul’s baseball blog, The Prince of New York, and also consider checking out his books, like the 2011 Baseball Guide (I’m using it to destroy my fantasy baseball foes right now).

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack. Make sure you follow him on Twitter!  And if you’re into raunchy stunts and Hooter chicks, make sure to check out Keith’s Undercast at Undercard Films!

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Recorded Saturday, July 16, 2011

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 20: Utley’s Multiple Meniscuses… and Other Stuff

betty white and alf podcast photo.jpg

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And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The proverbial (and literal) gloves come off in this verbal masquerade of utter ridiculousness and yes, injuries do occur (though mostly to Johanna and, since they are mental in nature, hardly noticed).  Among the topics of conversation one will find: Jeff’s wandering Forever 21 eyes, Zack Greinke’s ribs, the difference between a half and a full nelson, Cameroonian baseball, Bud Selig-bashing take 47 and much, much more… all to make you smile, laugh and play!

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is all over the interwebz killin’ it.  You should definitely check out his crew and their subsequently hilarious podcast at Undercard Films.  And keep your eye out for what’s next.  Dude’s makin’ a movie!

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Recorded Saturday, March 12, 2011

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 13: Nolan Ryan’s Taintedness… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 3.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and Johanna welcome a very special guest, Second City funny man Mark “Pie” Piebenga, to the Logan Square Studio for an RSBS Podcast pow-wow of epic proportions (we would like to thank Miller Lite for making it, as the kids say, ‘epic’)!  From Jim Joyce’s ‘stache to Nolan Ryan’s pomposity to Nyjer Morgan’s right hook to Bobby Scales’… existence?… all the gloves come off as the fellas look back at the 2010 season and gear up for the winter with plenty of chuckles and plenty of beer.  All to make you laughy laugh!

Holla!

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For more on Mark’s work on RSBSNinemen’s Morris series, check out this story then click on the Ninemen’s Morris tag at the bottom for more early 20th century hilarity!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is involved in some impressive projects himself.  Check out his work at  Undercard Films.  Seriously.  You should do it.  If you don’t, you might find out about his MMA skills first hand.  Holla!!!

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Recorded Wednesday, November 10, 2010

 

The Greatest Series No One Will See

tim_lincecum_video_game_graphic-93379.JPG

Tim Lincecum.  Cliff Lee.  Buster Posey.  Josh Hamilton (with special guest, Jesus of Nazareth).

This… spells… EPIC.

Unfortunately, only the folks in San Francisco, Dallas/Ft. Worth and the diehards (like myself) will be paying attention.

Such is a World Series without marquee cities and pinstripes galore (see 2006 for more info).

But I have an idea… a way to rope in the casual fan from Syracuse to Sandusky to Sacramento and beyond. 

In between innings, give a hot chick a gun and let ‘er rip:

‘Cuz, THAT, dear readers, is ‘Merica!!!

Yes.  Yes, you can thank me later.

Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Beyond Non Sequitur IV

Has anyone seen Officer Lincecum?

Hate me, y’all!

Peace,

Jeff

RSBS Postseason Awards Show: Part II

With Major League Baseball and various publications handing out their end of the season awards, RSBS has
decided to follow suit. Sure, our prizes may not come with any
financial reward and they may not trigger any clauses in the affected
players’ contracts. But, it is our civic duty. So, without further ado,
we present Part II of our two part Postseason Awards Show. Jeff, take it away.

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adam wainwright.jpgMost Prolific Snub:
Adam Wainwright
Come now.  No Cy Young Award for the anchoring, go-getting horse of the Cardinals pitching staff?  Oh.  Okay.  Look, I get it.  Lincecum is good.  He’s really good.  But in 2009, Wainwright was better.  If you don’t agree with me, well, go get high, eat some Doritos and listen to Beck.


Most Alarming Faux Accusation:

That I had anything to do with the Erin Andrews peep-show tape
Ha ha ha, y’all.  Very funny.  As soon as news broke that some dude took nudey video of Ms. Andrews while she undressed in front of her hotel boudoir, my phone blew up with texts, tweets, calls and restraining orders.  It wasn’t me.  I swear.  I wish it was… sorta.


Allen Krause.jpgMost Consistent Whiner:
Allen Krause
Oh, waa-waa-waa, the Tigers blew the season; waa-waa-waa the Lions are awful; waa-waa-waa I don’t like hockey and Bill Laimbeer slept with my girlfriend.  Whatever, dude.  Be like those who used to live in Detroit and just leave it… and its sports teams.  And know that you’ll never live up to Bill Laimbeer.  Don’t you remember that gimp mask?

Most Laughable Pre-Season Prediction:
That the Cubs would win the World Series
Up until early August of this year, I was still hearing the precocious murmurings of this being the year for the Cubs.  Those individuals would say something in defense now but they can’t because their heads are stuck deep in the sand.  Milton Bradley.  Carlos Zambrano.  Alfonso Soriano.  One has the mentality of a child.  One saves his best game for the Gatorade cooler.  One can’t lay off sliders in the dirt.  Get over it.

And finally…

chip caray fisted.jpgMost Disgusting Broadcast Catch Phrase:
Chip Caray

“FISTED!!!”

We at RSBS are at least grateful that we don’t have to deal directly with Chip Caray and his fisting fetish.  Well, let me say that I am grateful.  I cannot speak for Al on this subject.

Hate me ‘cuz you can, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Dazed and Confused

dazed_and_confused.jpgThe baseball season may be over but the wheeling and dealing is just beginning. Trades, pickups, moves. It’s like Christmas came a month early. However, one man seems to be doing a little more wheeling and dealing than everyone else. Well, maybe more of the wheeling after hitting up someone else responsible for the dealing.

Now, let’s see a show of hands for those of you who are surprised that Tim Lincecum likes to hit the reefer from time to time. Ok, Utah, you can put your hands down. Mormons don’t count in this poll. But as for the rest of the country, of course we all knew he liked to smoke. The dude looks like a smoker. He’s practically a dead ringer for Wylie Wiggins and he just has that look in his eyes.

Here’s the thing, though. Isn’t this just yet more proof that marijuana might not be as bad for you as DARE led you to believe? How many people do you know who are at the top of their game and like to relax with their close friend, Steve Green, from time to time? Half the NBA are regular smokers, Lincecum obviously likes it and how else do you think Steve Jobs came up with the iPod?

Take another look at that article. The thing I notice about the story is that Lincecum pulled over and “immediately complied with a request to hand over the drug and a marijuana pipe.” Compare that with a drunk who refuses to put down his beer and winds up taking a swing at the officer. I’ll take the pot head any day…..especially when he has a 2.90 ERA over 3 seasons.

-A

Hey, Mat Latos, Meet an Equally Arrogant Self-Serving Professional!

Thumbnail image for mat latos.jpgThe truth is: I was going to leave this one in the proverbial scrap pile of unprocessed information otherwise known as my oft useless brain, but after reading this touching letter to Colorado Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitski, I decided this might have a place.

I mean, I already infuriated Barry Zito (or at least his handlers) earlier this year by writing the truth: that during his Giants tenure, he hasn’t performed as well as that lofty contract might suggest.  Before I knew it he was blocking me from his Twitter account and I was wallowing in the kind of sorrow that only comes from not knowing what band Barry Zito thinks “rocks” or what type of scarf he’s going to wear to the polo club to impress his famously hot girlfriends.

Whoo wee!

So I certainly hope that when I call out Padres pitching prospect, Mat Latos, for acting like a bratty child during pre-game activities at this year’s Futures Game, that he doesn’t block me from watching his so-called Tim Lincecum-like delivery on MLB.TV. 

Oh wait.  Why would I ever want to watch a Padres game?  Nevermind.

Still, much like the young fireballer Latos, I too am trying to become established, to make a name for myself, to be noticed.  And the truth is, Mat, you and I, we can be a team.  Maybe…

First you will have to brush up on your people skills.  For example, when little kids ask you to toss a batting practice ball up to them in the stands, I wouldn’t fake-throw it (like one tends to do with his dog because watching a dog chase nothing is funny) then laugh with your buddies at how clever you are.  And I also wouldn’t spend most of that shagging time trying to launch errant balls high up into the upper decks (and fail miserably) because those balls were falling down onto we little people at high speeds and someone could have gotten hurt. 

See, the thing is, Mat, I know you’re young and all that talent has probably gotten to you; still, remember that you’re living a dream — that you have been gifted with the ability to play a game… for a living — and that your personality on and off the field will have a whole lot to do with how we plebeian fans perceive you.  Don’t care how the fans perceive you?  See Barry Bonds for more information on how it can go horribly wrong.

crying kids.jpgLucky for you, Mat, I’m a pretty understanding guy.  And I can be a snot-nose sometimes too.  I won’t fault you for that… but remember who you are aiming your snot-nosedness at, Mat.  The kids.  Remember the kids. 

Those kids — kids who look up to you even though they have no idea who you are, ‘cuz let’s face it, right now you’re a nobody just like Lastings Milledge is a nobody — those kids, when you mess with them, they don’t take it so well.

Remember that and you will be good to go.  I almost guarantee it.  Okay, I sorta guarantee it.

Good luck, Mat!  Hope to see you around the ballpark and maybe — if you feel lucky — you might even consider attacking my character… when you get a break from being the next Tim Lincecum that is…

Hate me ‘cuz I call ‘em out, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(“Crying Kids” image courtesy of The B.S. Report)

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