Results tagged ‘ Troy Tulowitski ’

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 15: Varitek’s Lotto Numbers… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 7.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

The hot stove is so hot that we had to add more fuel to the sizzlin’ fire!  Jeff, Allen and Johanna are joined by Second City’s Mark Piebenga and Red Sox loyalist Troy Jagodowski to get down and dirty on all the offseason drama.  Discussion topics include but are not limited to: what Theo Epstein was smokin’ when he re-signed Varitek, the end of Troy Tulowitski, the continued morphing of the Hall of Fame, the A-Gon deal and much, much more… all to make you laugh that milk right through your nose!

Holla!

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Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  You can check out Keith’s wicked podcast and his subsequent film projects at  Undercard Films.  The dude has mad skillz, so you might wanna pay attention.  Do it!  Now!

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Recorded Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Filibuster

Guys, the season is starting in a few days and I still haven’t seen an
honest to god prediction out of you yet.  What do you think?  Is there
anyone who can keep the Yankees from repeating?

-Lee
Sandusky, OH
____________________________________

We haven’t made any predictions yet?  Oh yeah, I guess predicting that the Detroit Tigers will suck this year isn’t really a prediction, it’s just a known fact.  Considering that it is that time of year when everyone is making some sort of bold statement as to who is gonna win and who isn’t, I think you’re right, Lee.  It is time for RSBS to jump into the prognostication pool (that sounds like something one would find in Vegas) and so we do as only we at RSBS (I, Jeff, not Al ‘cuz he’s a slacker) know how.

Shall we?
(subliminal messages start now)

kourtney kardashian bikini.jpgNL East
Compared to its AL counterpart, this division isn’t quite the sexy beast it used to be.  The team to beat is the Phillies; and while the Mets look to give a better effort than last year if healthy while the Braves and Marlins lurk behind with plenty of potential, I still don’t see how the Phillies can lose this division.  Oh wait.  Yes I can; his name is Brad Lidge.

Yet I think the Phils still win it.  Ya can’t get much worse than Lidge was last year and they still won the league.

Phillies.  Probably.


jenna fischer 2.jpgNL Central
Come now, is there really any competition here?  Yeah, sure the Brewers can bop with the best of them but have you seen their pitching staff?  Exactly.  The sCrUBS?  Er…. no.  The Astros?  Stop playin’.  The Pirates?  The Pirates!?!?  Ha!  The only team in this division who might give the Cardinals a run is the Cincinnati Reds, and for that to happen Aroldis Chapman and Johnny Cueto have to both deliver the goods like seasoned professionals (they’re not) and Aaron Harang would have to keep his ERA under 10 (he won’t)… not to mention the fact that Dusty Baker would have to not destroy someone’s arm (he will).

Cardinals.  No question.

heidi derosa.jpgNL West
Hmm.  This is an interesting division.  My heart says San Fransisco but my heart also says I should be able to drink a fifth of scotch and still be able to dance the merengue with some amount of poise.  In other words, my heart is a goddamn liar.  There are too many question marks in the Dodgers young pitching staff that I can’t put my money on them.  So I turn towards the Rockies — a team with balance, a team with Tulo, a team with purple pinstripes.

Rockies.

San Francisco joins as the Wild Card.

erin.andrews.jpgAL East
Yankees, Red Sox, Yankees, Red Sox… bla bla bla.  Not this year, folks.  Yankees, Rays, Yankees, Rays… and Brian Matusz.  The Yankees are the best in baseball.  Hard to argue against that.  The 2010 Red Sox are not the Red Sox we’re used to seeing.  They made a major mistake by not bringing back Jason Bay and they’re gonna suffer for it.  The Rays… this is the year for them.  It’s now or never.  And just for fun, let it be known that Brian Matusz of the Baltimore Orioles is one hell of a pitching phenom and a reason to tune into their games every once in a while.

Yankees win without even trying.

Rays take the Wild Card.

lucy liu.jpgAL Central
With so much money going towards roster scrubs and the recently anointed singles-machine, Magglio Ordonez, the Tigers of 2010 will look more like the Tigers of 2003.  Okay, maybe not that bad, but still, they ain’t goin’ anywhere.  The Twins will be in the race, but I suspect they will be playing a lot of doubleheaders this year due to that new open air stadium; and their team is still built for turf.  I don’t see them catching the White Sox, who in my opinion have the best starting five of any other team in the Majors.  If Peavy stays healthy and Floyd and Danks kick it up a notch, I don’t see how they could be beat.  Keep your eye on Gordon Beckham too.  He’s gonna be a superstar.

White Sox.

Allison.Stokke.jpgAL West
Like its National League version, this division causes me fits.  The Rangers are right on the cusp of doing something great; but then I look at their pitching staff and see a bunch of crooked numbers on the board against them.  The A’s?  Uh… no offense, but if you rely on Kurt Suzuki to produce all your offense, I cannot take you seriously.  The Mariners look like they should be much improved; but I’m not drinking that kool-aid yet ‘cuz as of now, they haven’t done jack.  And how can I possibly bet against a proven winner, a team that gets it done year after year after year? 

The Angels win the West.  Why?  ‘Cuz they do everything right.

And they have a rally monkey.

Playoffs
Now when you put all these pretty teams together, choosing one over the other is no easy task.  They’re all yummy winners.  They’re all well-proportioned hot.  They’re all doable talented.

So what is one to do?

Personally, I like to fantasize about a world where they’re all in the same room, having fun and going at it with uncompromising competitive bite.  But understanding how unrealistic that is, I guess I have no choice but to choose one. 

Or two.

These two:

jenna fischer 2.jpgAnd again, my lying, cheating, pipe-dreaming heart tells me that the Cardinals are better than the Yankees.  Yet, I’m smart enough to know that saying as much is not only unrealistic, it’s just plain fantasy.

Still, one can dream, right?

Hate me ‘cuz I get ya all flustered, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not
together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster
question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at
kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Unwanted Victoria Secret catalogues and bootleg copies of Predators also welcome.

(all images scraped from the interwebs)


Hey, Mat Latos, Meet an Equally Arrogant Self-Serving Professional!

Thumbnail image for mat latos.jpgThe truth is: I was going to leave this one in the proverbial scrap pile of unprocessed information otherwise known as my oft useless brain, but after reading this touching letter to Colorado Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitski, I decided this might have a place.

I mean, I already infuriated Barry Zito (or at least his handlers) earlier this year by writing the truth: that during his Giants tenure, he hasn’t performed as well as that lofty contract might suggest.  Before I knew it he was blocking me from his Twitter account and I was wallowing in the kind of sorrow that only comes from not knowing what band Barry Zito thinks “rocks” or what type of scarf he’s going to wear to the polo club to impress his famously hot girlfriends.

Whoo wee!

So I certainly hope that when I call out Padres pitching prospect, Mat Latos, for acting like a bratty child during pre-game activities at this year’s Futures Game, that he doesn’t block me from watching his so-called Tim Lincecum-like delivery on MLB.TV. 

Oh wait.  Why would I ever want to watch a Padres game?  Nevermind.

Still, much like the young fireballer Latos, I too am trying to become established, to make a name for myself, to be noticed.  And the truth is, Mat, you and I, we can be a team.  Maybe…

First you will have to brush up on your people skills.  For example, when little kids ask you to toss a batting practice ball up to them in the stands, I wouldn’t fake-throw it (like one tends to do with his dog because watching a dog chase nothing is funny) then laugh with your buddies at how clever you are.  And I also wouldn’t spend most of that shagging time trying to launch errant balls high up into the upper decks (and fail miserably) because those balls were falling down onto we little people at high speeds and someone could have gotten hurt. 

See, the thing is, Mat, I know you’re young and all that talent has probably gotten to you; still, remember that you’re living a dream — that you have been gifted with the ability to play a game… for a living — and that your personality on and off the field will have a whole lot to do with how we plebeian fans perceive you.  Don’t care how the fans perceive you?  See Barry Bonds for more information on how it can go horribly wrong.

crying kids.jpgLucky for you, Mat, I’m a pretty understanding guy.  And I can be a snot-nose sometimes too.  I won’t fault you for that… but remember who you are aiming your snot-nosedness at, Mat.  The kids.  Remember the kids. 

Those kids — kids who look up to you even though they have no idea who you are, ‘cuz let’s face it, right now you’re a nobody just like Lastings Milledge is a nobody — those kids, when you mess with them, they don’t take it so well.

Remember that and you will be good to go.  I almost guarantee it.  Okay, I sorta guarantee it.

Good luck, Mat!  Hope to see you around the ballpark and maybe — if you feel lucky — you might even consider attacking my character… when you get a break from being the next Tim Lincecum that is…

Hate me ‘cuz I call ‘em out, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(“Crying Kids” image courtesy of The B.S. Report)

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