Results tagged ‘ Twitter ’
All Too Easy
In the Twittersphere, we at RSBS have a reputation for taking cheap shots at Prince Fielder’s… er… um… corpulence (good word, interns!). While we do a good job of avoiding the F-word (no, the OTHER F-word, silly), we cannot help but point out the absurdity that is Prince Fielder’s physique.
Dude is big, as in I’s hongry big. He does not have an athletic body. Yet he’s just as athletic an athlete as you’re apt to find these days when it comes to production.
Prince is an anomaly though. An anachronism, even. He’s the digital watch in Glory in that HE SHOULDN’T BE WHERE HE IS.
Except he is.
How did he get here?
I call McDonald’s’ bluff. If it were really that easy — to just stuff one’s face full of awful simulated food product — then nearly all of US America would be getting paid by a Big League club right now.
In Prince’s case, I gotta think it’s the genes that make it all too easy.
Don’t hate me. ‘Cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
Mr. Lung, Superstar
I’m a day early but these things are rarely exact. No one really knows for sure if Jesus was born 2,012 years ago, for instance. But I can tell you for sure that Jeff was born 33 years ago as of tomorrow. I just hope that Jeff doesn’t decide to follow in Jesus’ footsteps. See, after disappearing for 30 years between his birth and the start of his ministry, Jesus managed to piss off the entire Roman Empire and the Jewish elite in three short years and get himself killed.
I don’t want to say the allusion is exact but for the past three years Jeff has been pissing off the MLB empire and the baseball elite (including getting kicked off Barry Zito’s Twitter feed). So far there have been no threats against Jeff’s life but MLB is sneaky like that.
It’s a day early but happy birthday Mr. Lung. And please, beware of crowds bearing palm fronds. You know what happens a week later.
-A
I See What You Did There, White Sox Fan Girl
The Twittersphere is an oddly fantastic place. It’s a lot like American Gladiators, you either get it or you’re like “Dude, wtf is this insanity?”
So whenever someone comes along and does something different, I have to give credit.
We have a new follower whose handle is @White_Sox_Fans
Of course, I assumed it’d be one of those generic, autoposting, borderline-spamming accounts that just pumped link after link of White Sox affiliated stuff. But then I saw the profile picture!
That certainly doesn’t look like the stylized “SOX” or the ho-hum cursive “CHICAGO” script one would usually see associated with a White Sox themed Twitter feed. I’m in!
And I also thought, Tigers fans could take the above hint and put sexy back into the grandest game on earth. What do ya think?
Hate me ‘cuz it’s allowed, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
RSBS Digest: Dealing With It
The last few days have seen my interwebs, my YouFace and my Tweeters blow up with concerned dear readers galore:
Jeff, I heard about Pujols… man… are you okay?
Jeff, I heard about Michele Bachmann topping another 2012 poll, is everything cool?
Jeff, I heard one still can’t find Kraftbrau’s Doppelbock on tap anywhere in the Chi. Are you contemplating suicide?
No.
No.
And… no.
Definitely not. Everything is cool, man. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Give up!?!?!
Ha!
Bein’ down isn’t something I’m unaccustomed to, my friends. And yeah, back in the old days, I would sit and stew, fume and pout, whine and complain about things I could not control. But where is there value in that?
I would rather fight through hardships than lay down and die because of them. The satisfaction of overcoming adversity is like that first sip of a cold adult beverage after work on Friday: earning it makes it taste better. And sometimes, when failure is still the result, knowing I gave my best effort keeps me sane.
But I swear, if I don’t find that Doppelbock on tap somewhere in this city soon, no wall in my apartment is safe.
Hate me all ya want, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
It’s April, Yo!
So we’re only one week into the season and already folks are sounding the bell on the Cardinals’ chance to win out the NL Central.
Have the Cardinals had a bad week? Yes.
Is that reason to say they’re done? No.
Are the red hot Reds the undisputed favorites to win the division?
I don’t know. It’s April friggin’ 7th. But since inquiring minds keep blowin’ up my Twitter*, I had our RSBS interns track down Lil Wayne, to see what he thinks:
My rapper eye rollin’ speak is a little rusty, but I’m pretty sure he’s tryin’ to say “I don’t know”… either that or Dusty Baker just got through abusing his arm and he needs some time to shake it off.
Either way, ask us again… in September!
And don’t hate me, ‘cuz you know I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
*Someday I hope to meet a time traveler from the 1950s so I can see the reaction on his face when I tell him “folks is blowin’ up my Twitter”.
(GIF via Skull Swap)
Understanding Ozzie
Whether he’s hawking random expletives, labeling Jay Mariotti as “a garbage” or mumbling Spanglish idioms no one understands during the World Series on Fox, Ozzie Jose Guillen is always entertaining.
And while his latest project may be getting Jake Peavy to respect his own body (regarding injury, not that Jesusy “your body is a temple” stuff), we should all certainly stop to thank the baseball gods that, despite his busy schedule, Ozzie still has time to tweet.
Oh yes.
Ozzie tweets.
It’s just that… sometimes, his tweets… they’re not easy to comprehend. And that’s where RSBS and our faithful interns get to work!
Let us enter the interwebs to analyze some of Ozzie’s latest…
My dog dh needs a gf he want to be charlie sheen he is desperate lol
March 3, 2011
Translation: I think it’d be funny if my dog did a bunch of coke, assaulted hookers and got fired from the best job in television, ‘cuz let’s face it: self-destruction is hilarious.
Very nice day off great golf 89 finnaly play good any cuestion ask oney lol yesssss
March 15, 2011
Translation: Punctuation? Spelling? I don’t need no stinking punctuation or spelling! Ask one of my delinquent sons!
Nice shot james lol
February 24, 2011
Translation: Bet you wish you had a Derrick Rose, right, LeBron?!?! (this tweet came during one of the Bulls’ three victories over the Heat — right after LeBron threw up a humiliating BRICK towards the end of the game.)
Open a jack in the box in chicago please
February 24, 2011
Translation: I have an E Coli addiction and I need a fix! Stat!
And, finally…
Getting ready to watch bruno the movie lol… Joey cora favorite movie
March 19, 2011 (Pt. 1 and Pt. 2)
Translation: Joey Cora is gay.
Folks, this is but a small sampling of the logorrheic ramblings Ozzie spews on a daily basis, which is definitely cause to celebrate technocracy. Just imagine if Earl Weaver had a twitter… oh boy.
Hate me, I don’t care. Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
Killin’ It In 140 Characters or Less
And thus continues the neverending sobfest that is the post-2008 season New York Metropolitans.
They just… haven’t been the same.
And now with the Madoff fallout hindering the club financially, I expect we will be hearing a lot of vitriolic critiques, like the one above on Ollie. Oh Ollie…
I don’t feel sorry for him.
Still, rather than sling crud at those who cannot defend themselves, we at RSBS prefer to just hit below the belt every once in a while. As long as we draw a laugh out of ya, all is fair.
Hate me, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
*Oh yeah, if you’re not already, follow us on Twitter yo!
Welcome to Ground Zero!
Welcome to the year of the revolution! Not yet 1/6 of the way through 2011, we have already seen dictatorships toppled in Tunisia and Egypt while other autocrats stumble to shore up support by various means. But what about back here in America? We watch the news and post Facebook messages in support of Egyptians and Tunisians but ignore the totalitarians in our midst. I for one think it time that we stand up and take back what is rightfully ours. And like all revolutions, we need to start by chopping off the head of the snake. Bud Selig must go!
To this end, I offer up the RSBS Twitter feed as ground zero in the revolution. When Selig takes down the blog to help protect his ill-gotten gains, we still have a rallying point. And make no mistake, he will try to silence the revolution. Take a look at the facts.
At this point Selig has been in power for almost 20 years, two decades in which he fiddled while baseball burned during the ’94 strike and ignored the nearly fatal excesses of the steroid era. He has reaped the rewards of a fundamentally flawed system even as the popularity of baseball wanes in the face of challenges from the NFL and Nascar (check out Bill Maher’s recent explanation here). King Bud has abdicated his duty and for that he must go.
Revolution is not simple and sacrifice is required. However, our sacrifice can also hit Selig and his cabal of cronies where it really hurts: the pocketbook. How do we do this? Well, imagine no one showing up on Opening Day, leaving the ballparks were empty while fans mill around outside chanting “Bud must go!” Sure, it sounds far-fetched but two months ago so was the idea that Hosni Mubarak would be chased out despite holding the reins of the state police and the military in his iron fist.
We know Bud’s sins. We don’t need WikiLeaks because it’s all out there, plain as day. We just need the spark that will ignite this conflagration. That spark is coming and in six weeks it ignites the revolution. March 31, 2011. Baseball’s Independence Day.
-A
Highlights from the 2010 RSBS Twitter Reel
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Jeff & Al
Red State Blue State
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