Results tagged ‘ Vladimir Putin ’

How to Win Super Tuesday

Take it from them!  Just take it

Forget your fickle fossil fuel subsidies, your position on amnesty for illegals, your corporate bailouts!  Forget them! 

Who cares for your stupid little war on drugs, your ignorant stimulus spending, your silly stem cell debate?  Who cares?!?!

If you want to win Super Tuesday, Mr. Politician, take off your shirt, ride a horse and go shoot a stinking tiger!

And if they try to stop you from winning?  There is only one thing left to do.

KEEEEEEEEEEEL them.

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Of course, the above method may not translate well to the 2012 baseball season.  I have tried touting my team as the 2012 World Series Champions already.  But it’s not working.

Yet.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Pennsylvanian Taliban

Theocracy hasn’t worked so well as a system of government.  Putting aside the cozy politico-religious oligopolies of yesteryear (I’m looking at you, France, and you too, England), today we don’t have to look much further than Iran or Afghanistan to see that basing civil code on religious doctrine leads to a pretty unsavory state of events.  Which leads me to ask, how can anyone still be taking Rick Santorum seriously?

Make no mistake, when Santorum (the “man”, not the “frothy mixture“) says that he doesn’t believe in the separation of church and state, what he is really saying is that he thinks US law should be based on the ten commandments.  Maybe I’m dense but I don’t see how basing a system of government on the Bible is really all that different from basing a system of government on the Quran or on the Torah for that matter, both of which I’m pretty sure Mr. Santorum is against.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a fundamentalist is a fundamentalist is a fundamentalist.

Quite honestly, the only place I want to see the church governing anything is when it comes to the brewing of beer.  And when I say “governing,” I really only mean allowing monks to keep doing that voodoo that they do so well.  If beer can keep you alive while fasting for a month, it obviously has some sort of higher power.

The seperation of church and state exists for a reason and that’s to keep one single person from becoming both the church and the state.  What happens when one man becomes both?

He may be the most interesting man in the world but I don’t think I’m ready for him to be running America.

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It’s time for THE FILIBUSTER to settle back in the Sunday slot at RSBS!   No matter what the query, send it to RSBSBlog@gmail.com and we’ll let you know what we think.

Everything is Better With Vladimir

It’s a hard time to be an international baseball player.  Of course we all heard about what happened with Wilson Ramos in Venezuela but as harrowing as that experience may have been, at least he came out of it alive.  The same can’t be said of Seattle utility outfielder Greg Halman.  Not only did he get stabbed to death back home in the Netherlands, it was his own brother who did it.

That being said, it’s a tough time in general internationally.  Seif al-Islam Gaddafi went from being the reformed face of the Libyan regime to war criminal faster than you can say…..well, faster than you can say Seif al-Islam Gaddafi.  And if you happen to be an Iranian nuclear scientist, it’s probably a good time to up that life insurance policy payout.

Luckily there’s one guy who always knows how to land on his feet.  The most interesting man in the world, not content with just having a supermodel personal photographer, also appears to be branching out into the world of medicine:

Mr. Putin, I don’t know how you do it but you always manage to amaze us.  You’ve even made dentistry pleasant, if that guy’s smile is any indication.

However there’s one title that even you haven’t managed to claim yet: RSBS‘s biggest fan.  There’s still time, though.  And as though the title wasn’t enough, you could also win yourself a pair of Oakley’s.  C’mon Mr. Putin, show us how it’s done.

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V is for Vladimir

I can’t keep up with Vladimir Putin anymore.  The guy tires me out just reading about him.  He discovers archeological treasures, drives tanks, arm wrestles guys twice his size and still finds time to cuddle with puppies.  The man literally is the most interesting man in the world (sorry JV).

But the man scares me.  Here’s why:

Ask me if I’d rather get beaned by a Verlander fastball or spend 15 seconds alone with Putin in a locked room and I’ll take the fastball any day of the week.

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Vladimir Putin Makes More Than You

A recent study illustrated what you already knew:  Nice guys really do finish last.  But this should come as no surprise to anyone.  People don’t usually gush about how nice Carlos Slim is or wax eloquent on Warren Buffet’s warm hugs.  This also explains a bit about baseball.

The highest paid baseball player is Alex Rodriguez.  It also just so happens that A-Rod is recognized as a world-class dick.  Coincidence?  Probably not.  Same goes for Michael Jordan and the trash-talking skills that he brought along with his ridiculous game:

However, if there’s one guy who truly embodies this principle, it’s Vladimir Putin.  If there’s a meaner, cockier person out there, I dare you to prove it.  He gets the girlHe gets the treasure.  He gets whatever he wants.  Why?  Because he’s Vladimir F***ing Putin, that’s why.

If you have any other questions, perhaps you’d prefer to take them up directly with Mr. Putin.

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Picturing the Evil Empire

We won the Cold War.  There’s no debating that.  The Soviet Union split up, Germany was reunified and communism went the way of the Whigs and the Bull Moose.  But sometimes it feels like we still lost.  Like when you hear about Vladimir Putin’s new personal photographer:

Sure, Vlad isn’t a Soviet per se but it’s pretty safe to say that he has a lot more in common with Stalin than he does with FDR.  Although maybe not quite so much.  The point is, the Russians may have lost the war but they seem to be winning the battle.

It’s a little like the Red Sox and the Yankees.  Sure, the Red Sox may have finally gotten by the Yankees to win that elusive World Series.  They may have even succeeded in doing it again right afterwards.  But they’re never going to catch the Yankees.  The Yankees are the Evil Empire just like Vlad and his boys are the heirs to the Soviet version.

So, what can we do?  How can we fight back against a Russia that just keeps coming back like some totalitarian Freddy Krueger?  Well, I think the first step is obvious.  Obama needs to get a better looking photographer:

The rest will work itself out from there.

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Send in the Clowns

clown.jpgAlthough this week is the beginning of the baseball awards season, I find myself much more focused on the goings-on of the political world.  And I’m not just talking about the US and our recent mid-term elections.  Another big democracy just went through a similar fun time and their results seem to mirror our own.

But democracy isn’t really all that interesting what with its “free and fair elections” and “transparency.”  Whatever happened to the good ol’ days of autocracy and election rigging?  Sure, it’s still going on but it just doesn’t seem to be as widespread as before.

Luckily the potential for hyjinks and shenanigans lays in wait right around the corner.  Is the Tea Party not providing enough excitement for you?  Well, how about a vote of self-determination in Southern Sudan.  Considering how things have gone in Darfur, this can only lead to a positive outcome.

Since I prefer to keep the mood light, though, there’s nothing better than heading over to our friends at Vladimir Putin Action Comics.  After all, totalitarianism is much more enjoyable when you add in a side of beefcake and a sprinkle of strangulation.

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