Results tagged ‘ Wrigley Field ’

Gettin’ Kicked and Gettin’ Injured… Injured Bad

cardinals cubs fight.jpg

When I went mad back in early March waiting in an online queue for over four hours to land crappy, view-obstructed upper deck Cardinals/Cubs tickets for the September series at Wrigley, I was more than positive that my time spent in idle agony would eventually pay off — that, come September, the games would really mean something.

Playoff tune-up.

Heated battle for first place in the NL Central.

Wild card implications.

Wrong.  Wronger.  And WAY WRONGER.

Instead, what we have is a barely breathing, leaderless (no, Albert ain’t the leader) and underachieving Cardinals club squaring off against yet another maybe-next-year, embarrassment-infected sCrUBS team going nowhere.  That’s right.  The Cardinals/Cubs series will end as just another series between two kicked down and beaten up teams that no one cares about.

And that hurts.

Of course, it could hurt worse… like my ‘lil man here explains:

The Cards and Cubs are injured bad alright.  No question.  But at least they wear cups. 

So we hope.

Happy Friday!

Jeff

(thanks to C for bringin’ this kid to my attention)

Mayor… Daley… Is… Outta Here!

mayor daley chicago.jpg
That’s right, dear readers.  The ginormously ugly head of the Chicago political machine is callin’ it quits.  He’s done.  Out. 

For good.

The last time Chicago saw such expeditious light, names like Doug Dascenzo and Danny Pascua anchored both sides of the Second City’s streets, while far across the globe, the Soviets were just gettin’ out of Afghanistan, after the United States ignited what would later turn into the biggest American tragedy of all time.

In other words, Mayor Daley’s been around a while.  Perhaps too long.  And we Chicagoans have gotten used to his turbulent tendencies.

So who in the heck is gonna replace him?!?

Don’t worry, folks.  The hardworking RSBS interns have put together a shortlist of candidates, all of whom come highly recommended:


mike quade.jpg
Mike Quade
Sure, a
month ago none of us knew who he was.  But having gone 9-4 in his first
13 games as the Cubs manager, let it be known that no Chicagoan has ever
done more with less than Mike Quade.  Believe that.

rod blagojevich.jpgRod Blagojevich
Let’s
see… He’s a democrat.  He’s a Chicago hardliner.  He’s abrasive. 
He’s on the take.  He’s got “friends” that wouldn’t flinch in breaking
your legs.  He primps for the camera.  He’s full of himself.  He dreams
bigger than he can act.  And he thinks the world revolves around him. 
If that’s all that’s required of the mayor of Chicago then someone give
this guy the key!

And… one final candidate to consider:

jeff with his catalogue.jpgMe!
Why not?  I live in Chicago.  I love Chicago.  Hell, I am Chicago (don’t believe me? Ask me to do my super fan
impression sometime).  Seriously, why wouldn’t I be a good candidate
for the job?  Because I love the Cardinals?  Because I might burn down
Wrigley Field?  So what, I support the Sox and I’d build a bigger,
better Wrigley (to house the Expos I plan to bring back once I get rid
of the sCrUBS).  Okay, so maybe I’m lying about all that — Hey, I’m a
liar! That qualifies me on its own! —  but I will say that I, too, hate
paying the highest sales tax in the country.  I, too, am tired of
reading gang and gun-related headlines.  Let’s make a change, people. 
Let’s get deep dish pizza in all the schools and make it mandatory that
baseball theory is taught to every kindergartner, before they find out about basketball or football.

Hate me ‘cuz you don’t believe that ‘yes, we can’… just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 9: Jeter’s Unfortunate Accident… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 3.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Once again, Jeff and Johanna tread the unconventional waters of mischief-making as they delve into important social issues such as cock-fighting Aramis Ramirez, Stephen Strasburg’s golden elbow, Katy Perry’s wisdom, the Lou Piniella mailbag and much, much more!  Turn up the volume and chuckle with us, y’all!

Holla!

- – -

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special
thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  If you like laughing or just wanna listen to some wildly impromptu conversations about food, film making and other important life subjects like living on display in a museum, check out his Undercast podcast.  Visit Undercard Films!

- – -

MUSIC BY MEQQA <— Download their music it is rad as hell :-)

Recorded Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Filibuster

Jeff!!!  I loved your pictures from Nats park and I’m psyched that you
got to see Strasburg.  I also saw that you’ve been to Sox park and
Wrigley recently.  What’s your favorite ballpark that you’ve already
visited and which place would you like to see the most?

Caitlin
Manassas, VA
____________________________________

All Star Weekend 7.13.2009 068.jpgAfter a fiery, bloody internal debate that lasted well over an hour, I finally decided not to begin addressing this query by postulating what one would find if he/she were to actually venture to Manassas, VA… ‘cuz I’m pretty sure one can find Man-assas (a$$e$?) anywhere… including  ballparks all across US America.

ZING!

Still got it, folks.

Okay, maybe not.

But it doesn’t matter… and neither does the ballpark, Caitlin.  What matters is the game.  Sure Busch hosts my boys, Wrigley’s nostalgic, Nats Park has Ben’s Chili Bowl and Sox Park is a good place to pick up Latin Queens; but to be honest, I can find something positive about any and every ballpark I ever go to.  And I’ve been to many.

My favorite random ballpark story is the one about the Oakland Coliseum.  I happened to be in San Francisco on business.  It was a Saturday night and I had nothing to do, so I hopped on the BART to Oakland, walked up to the ticket counter at the Coliseum and said, “I got forty bucks. Where can I sit for that?”

“In a good seat, Honey.” said the kind ticket lady.

Ten minutes later I’m sitting behind homeplate on the first tier above ground level and I can hear Nick Swisher’s awful jokes with my own ears.  Ten minutes after that and I have a Fat Tire in my hand (at the ballpark!) and a few hours after that I was sufficiently drunk off the seductive elixir of the game itself.

And that can happen anywhere.

Though there is one place in particular that I just gotta go to, before it goes back to just hosting football games:

chewbacca at ballpark.jpgI doubt you can blame me.

Hate me ‘cuz you’re anti-Sith, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right. 

Peace,

Jeff

(Chewbacca image via 9GAG)

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 3: The Stat Zombie’s Death… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo 2.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and Johanna welcome a paragon of baseball intelligentsia, Mr. Paul Lebowitz — the one and only Prince of New York!  If you aren’t already reading the Prince’s daily column *here* or *here* then you probably should get on that.  Like, right away.  Or else.  And if that ain’t enough, you can certainly follow him on Twitter too.  To be honest, the man is too ruthless and too unfettered for you to not be paying attention to him… so the RSBS crew made sure to get him at his best.  Among the titillating
topics of discussion: Jason Bay’s UZR, men left on base (LOB), Keith Hernandez’s hunches, BRAINS!!!!… the Lou Piniella Mailbag and much, much more!

Holla!

-
– -

Subscribe
to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe

via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special

thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  His Undercast podcast is the bomb shizzy, by the way.  It’s available on iTunes and is posted regularly at Undercard Films.

**Image by Annette T.  (Thanks, Annette!)  Check out her sweet@ss blog!

Recorded Saturday , June 12, 2010

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 2: Albert’s Anti-Slump… and Other Stuff

rsbs podcast photo.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast…

Jeff and his sCrUBS fan nemesis pal, Johanna Mahmud, get back in the studio and throw down on the art of being right!  Among the titillating topics of discussion: mispronouncing dominance [Doc Halladay] and futility [John Grabow], Brandon Phillips’ wings, a wild war of words over Albert Pujols, the Lou Piniella Mailbag and much, much more.

Holla!

- – -

Subscribe
to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe
via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special
thanks to Keith Carmack — our engineer, director, editor and
all-around sound guru.  He always knows when the Hawks are (or aren’t) gonna get donged.

Recorded Monday, May 31, Memorial Day 2010

Coming to Terms with the sCrUBS

hot cubs chick 3.jpgAs a Cardinals fan living in the Chi, the baseball season never really begins for me until St. Louis comes to town and I get my first taste of blood as I camp out at Wrigley for a weekend.  Black eyes, sprained ankles, hoarse voice… all welcome reminders of just how deep (and serious) this rivalry can be.

But the older I get, the clearer I see, which is why I can say with brutal honesty that the Chicago Cubs are the absolute best rival a fan could ask for.

Yep.  That’s right.  They’re the best.  Because they don’t… win… championships.

Think about it.  Yankees fans, remember how awful you felt when the Red Sox overcame in 2004?  And what about having to watch Papelbon’s antics during the 2007 run?  Reverse that and imagine the utter malcontent suffered by the Red Sox for eons while the Yankees ran up the World Series trophy count.

Giants fans must’ve been sick watching Kirk Gibson’s shot in 1988.  And likewise, those Dodgers fans who saw Willie Mays’ catch seal the deal in 1954 couldn’t have been too happy.

hot cubs chick 2.jpgAnd don’t even get me started on the Mets/Phillies rivalry.  Talk about carnage… wow.

But we Cardinals fans… seriously, what the hell do we have to be sick about?  We have the best player in baseball, we have arguably the best manager in baseball, and our arch rivals haven’t won jack scheisse in over 100 years.

With that in mind, as I prepare for the annual battle that is Cubs v. Cards, this year I’m gonna focus on the fact that this rivalry is a lame duck rivalry — that I can be confident my team will be better.  Therefore I am going to focus on the visual pleasantries that (surprisingly) can be found in abundance at the Friendly Confines.

Y’feel me?

Good.

Now, wish me luck.

Hate me ‘cuz I try to see all the angles, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Happy Friday!

Jeff

– – -
Also…

Make sure you check out the all-new, all-awesome RSBS
Podcast
!

Subscribe to the podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe

via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

How Can We Make Wrigley Field Even UGLIER?

Oh, I know… cover the Clark and Addison entrance with a giant picture of Lou Piniella’s distended belly.

wrigley field new front.jpgLook, everyone knows Wrigley Field is a dump.  But everyone also knows it’s a dump we all love.  Even I can admit to that.

It’s historic.  It’s sentimental.  It’s old timey.

Where else can you pay ten times the market price for a 20 ounce can of Old Style?  Where else can you gather around a trough with a hundred other men and urinate in drunken unison?  Where else can you go to hear D-list celebrities butcher a classic song by singing out of tune?

Only at Wrigley Field.

I was p!ssed when they added the Bud Light Bleachers (bleacher tickets should not be $44 a piece, people)… I was p!ssed when they added the Captain Morgan Club… and with the addition of these gaudy action portraits, I am beyond p!ssed at the team I love to hate.

People like Wrigley because it’s authentic.  It’s classic.  It’s historic. 

And because the Cubs lose there.

But slowly, as they add an advertisement here, a sports bar there and a fully functioning urinal there, Wrigley Field is slowly becoming just like every place else…

Not Wrigley Field.

So don’t hate me… ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

The Filibuster

holy+cow.jpgA few weeks ago Milton Bradley very publicly decried the racist
comments hurled at him from the bleachers at Wrigley.  But since he
wouldn’t give specifics the press has been having a field day, claiming
he’s making it all up.  It blows my mind how blind they are.  I’m no
fan of Milton’s, but you can’t walk through Wrigleyville without seeing
someone in a “Pujols Mows My Lawn” shirt, or those famous “Horry Kow!”
Fukudome shirts.  I think in this case he’s absolutely right, and the
press would rather continue to crap all over the guy than grudgingly
admit that he has a point.

Ted
Chicago, IL

____________________________________

As much as soccer is the world’s game, baseball is still America’s game. And as games and culture tend to do, it reflects much about a nation’s character. If you watch soccer you know that the Germans play a very methodical game much like the methodical German people. Same goes for the “beautiful game” played by the Brazilians.

But what does this recent statement from Milton Bradley say about the state of our nation? Well, if you paid attention at all during the Presidential race last year, you know that Ted and Milton definitely have a point.

The state of race relations in this country has not come all that far since the times of the king of the racists, Ty Cobb, or Jackie Robinson’s first foray across the color lines. We may pretty it up these days with Rainbow coalitions and politically correct buzz-words but the fact of the matter is, there has never been an actual, frank discussion about race in this country despite what we’d like to lead ourselves to believe. As much as it pains me to say it, Cubs’ fans are not the problem. They’re nothing more than a symptom of the problem.

It’s not exactly the same thing but this reminds me of being in Wrigleyville a couple years ago late at night. I was walking with a few guys and there had definitely been some drinking going on. As we walked to find a cab, some thin young guy came hurrying down the street toward us and one of the guys in the group jumped at him and then started harassing him, calling him “f@g” this and “f@g” that. This poor guy was scared sh!tless and the rest of us were too stunned to even say anything. Finally someone pulled the guy from our group away and he looked around at us like it was the funniest thing ever. As the guy who had been getting harassed walked away as quickly as possible, the rest of us just stared at this d0uchebag standing there obliviously with a huge grin on his face, all of us still shocked at what had happened.

And again, it’s symptomatic. Racism and homophobia come from the same place and the fact that neither one has ever been dealt with directly in this country means that it will continue to go on. Whether or not someone said what Milton says he heard is not the point. The fact that we really shouldn’t be surprised that it happened is.

-A

Beating Down a Dead Horse

milton_bradley_angry.jpg“I regret that there are idiots in the world, that’s what I regret.”
–Milton Bradley on his experience with Cubs fans in 2009

Me too, Milton.  Me too.

And let’s face it.  Cubs fans can be brutal — check that — are brutal.

Just ask Shane Victorino.  Or me.  Or Jacque Jones.

In fact, I used to think that Cubs fans couldn’t hate anyone more than they hate(d) Jacque Jones.

Then along came Milton.

Milton
Bradley that is, with his $30 million contract, unfettered crybaby
angst and a mind-blowing 35 RBIs through more than two thirds of the
season.  Wooing boos by not knowing how many outs there are in a
particular inning, by striking out looking with the game on the line
and by just plain lollygaggin’, Milton certainly does it all.  Now that’s a fella who is truly hated at the Friendly Confines.

But
at least he seems to have a sense of humor about it, albeit an
insensitive, mildly inappropriate one.  After the lowly Washington
Nationals lit up the Cubs on Tuesday night, Bradley told ESPN Chicago:

“We got a Rodney King beatdown tonight.”

Okay, Milton.  Sure, that was an ugly game and you are having
an ugly season, but already being the king of Chicago controversy,
couldn’t you have used a less compromising analogy?  To illustrate, we
at RSBS put our best intern to work and he came up with the following alternatives:

“We got a Barack Obama-on-John McCain beatdown tonight.”

Well, coming from Sen. Reid, this biased (albeit true) analogy is a bit expected.

“We got a Jesus Christ beatdown tonight.”
Er, yeah… okay.  No argument here.  I mean, I did see The Passion of the Christ.  That was uber-ugly.

“We got a Clint Malarchuk beatdown tonight.”

Now that was more of a slashing than a beatdown; still, it will make you puke.

“We got a Mr. Lung beatdown tonight.”

Ah, yes.  Now we’re talking.  ‘Cuz if you are even halfway familiar with the bitter goings on of RSBS, you know that I, Mr. Lung, destroy Mr. Krause in every and all debate because, quite frankly, I am always right and he is always off gallivanting in his own little fantasy world where people actually care about what he might have to say.

Of
course, these are all sufficient alternatives for our dear friend
Milton to use the next time he needs to highlight his ineffectiveness
with colorful language; but I believe the best, most succinct way of
getting his point across — the point that the Cubs just aren’t any
good — would be to quite simply say:

“We got a Milton Bradley beatdown tonight.”

Indeed,
no other statement carries as much ‘beatdown’ weight as the above. 
Beaten down like Bradley has been by Wrigley Field bleacher bums. 
Beaten down like Bradley has been by fed-up umpires.  Beaten down like
Bradley’s abysmal stats and his overall reputation (did he ever have a
good one to begin with?).

The only Milton Bradley thing that
looks good these days is his bank account.  And if you listen closely,
you can probably still hear him laughing.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

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